Not quite a full #DuvetKnowItsChristmas entry this year, as I have an entire (single) bed in a spare room mostly free of junk, but I think I gain points for yoga mat, random wig, and Dad having to scavange a bulb from his bedside lamp because mine didn't have one.

OH MY GOD you cannot just toss normies into the RPF fanfic pool. That's like handing a toddler a machete and dropping them in the middle of the Amazon rainforest.

Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the land The sleeping arrangements were carefully planned Down in the kitchen, a picturesque scene A mattress, a pillow, a washing machine

I'm a regular guy, I put my trousers on the same way as everyone else: falling into them through a hole in the ceiling via a contraction operated by my long suffering dog

Oh litmus tree Oh litmus tree I know your precise acidity

Amazing work from whoever was up in N6914W over Ohio … www.flightaware.com/live/flight/...

Imagine being Brian Henson. First of all, you grow with your dad being synonymous with Kermit the Frog. And then, he passes away, and you are tasked with directing the first film without him and you have all that weight of expectation. And you pull fuckn Muppet Christmas Carol out of the hat

One of the things I've been enjoying about reading @20thcenturymarc.marcburrows.co.uk Mistletoe and Vinyl has been queueing up whichever Christmas hit is under discussion and listening as I read. Most of them have been on my playlist already, though somehow not 2000 Miles.

Getting all up in my feels about the fact that Cassie and Janey spent last Christmas in the cat shelter, and this is how they're spending tonight...

Proper lol at this

Such a small but lovely Christmas thing is the massive Big Yellow Self Storage building near the Hammersmith Flyover turning off the S on either side so it now reads ELF STORAGE.

Just remembered I was going to do my traditional walk round the village looking at the Christmas lights tonight. Not sure I can bothered to leave the house now, but maybe I'll take an intermission for a short turn about.

The chores are done, time to sit down with dinner and watch Muppet Christmas Carol so it can be Officially Christmas

Why is every in person interaction I have with my next door neighbour awkward AF? I'm not normally *that* bad at peopling

If I could say one sentence to cats and make them understand it, it would probably be "If you are going to puke, please do it on a hard surface."

This episode made me laugh like an idiot at all the poo jokes because I am a child at heart. I'm also really enjoying getting occasionally jumpscared by a @jlukeroberts.bsky.social Sound Heap voice

He’s making a list And he’s checking it twice While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag

From the 1966 Sunset Magazine “Sunset Cook Book of Breads”

Typical cat. On Sunday, I had nothing to do and stayed on the sofa all day, so Cassie spent most of it sleeping in the coffee table bed. Today, I have a reasonably long list of pre-Christmas chores, so she has plonked herself in my lap with every appearance of staying here all day

Often, when I get too hot in the night, my dreams get weird and anxiety tinged. This one started that way, but ended up with noted celebrity pickpocket Apollo Robbins (?) training the family red setter (??) in espionage (???). She was a natural (!)

Vin Diesel has a twin but disappointingly he's not called Tvin Diesel

I’m reminded of watching two old ladies ask a teenage goth for directions and she politely told them and when she was out of earshot one lady said “You know where you are with a goth”

“Say it’s carol singers” is possibly the worst thing to say if you’re trying to stop someone coming to the door. 70% chance they will come out to see, especially if their partner is apparently watching. “Say it’s Jehovah’s witnesses” or “say it’s your friend Sally” might work.

I'm watching The Wrong Trousers and it's bonkers to watch it now, since a provincial museum in the north of England in an animation from 1993 has better security than the Louvre.

omg she's wagatha christie-ing it

Alan Rickman getting into character to play an actor that hates Tim Allen by being an actor who hates Tim Allen should be a milestone in the annals of method acting.

there’s a woman across the aisle on the bus crocheting a pocket onto a cardigan *that she’s wearing*, incredible, a thing of beauty

Fear me for I have drunk red wine and eaten a dessert with chocolate sauce and spilt neither on my white hoody

I fully expect work to be Troy with the pizza dot gif when I get back, but that is now officially not my problem until 5th January. The last minute panic was not a panicked as it could have been, we finished on a high with things working and I even had time to do some mandatory compliance training.

Every time I see this there's more. This is what I love about people

This is a lovely thread and the cat was fine and came home so read on with impunity!

Mr. Beast, all my friends and I were saying how good at boxing you’d be

Jake Paul and Andrew Tate getting the shit beat out of them the same week Ariana Grande and Cher host SNL while a gay hockey romance is the number one show in the world wow someone is really fighting to fix the timeline omg

OK, so Klaus made me weep. Beautiful film. But now I need to watch the most godawful ridiculousl Hallmark film I can

If Batman was a Santa, would he wear his hat like this, or like this

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

It's a lovely 6th Day of Christmas at my true love's house, and you are six horrible geese

Andrew Tate getting his face mashed by someone who isn't even a proper boxer is the Sunday morning story you need.

Live your life in such a way that your broken jaw isn't the highlight of social media's entire year.

it is almost Christmas which means it’s Muppet Christmas Carol season and that, in turn, means it is time to revisit this delightful interview with Michael Caine, who loves everything about that movie even more than you do

Omg, please no. Don't put people I frequently contact on teams in my sharing shortcuts. I do not need to be jump scared by my boss' face when I'm trying to link my friend to a post about Heated Rivalry A/B/O fic.

to add to the Jake Paul schadenfreude, Andrew Tate also lost a fight to some reality TV influencer. most analysis of the fight I've read described his opponent as deeply untalented but Andrew lost anyway. Tate's endurance was awful and he was gassed after the first round.

I have Wrapped All The Presents and Cleaned All The Things. Which means that tomorrow is pjs and Christmas movies. I haven't had a day where I had nothing to do in like 6 weeks

Having a cat is so cool. There is a little creature in my bed who loves me and vibrates like a tiny motorcycle and is so fuzzy and wants to snuggle. How could I want anything else

I heard there was a secret code, that David knew to unlock god mode, but you don't really care for cheating, do yah? It goes like this, up up down down left right lef

Mulder, tossing a file on a desk: Scully, what do you know about big naturals?

There is one funniest possible option for who to replace Tess and Claudia on strictly: Cat Deely and Davina McCall