Kinda sucks how one day you’ll post stuff like “does the Grinch use the toilet?” and then the next it has to be “I reject those who worship death”

Read this comic, tell your friends, you will like it!!! and if you don’t like it, idk man. it was free. read it on the toilet. I know you’re looking at your phone while you’re on the toilet anyway, maybe look at this for a while

Sometimes all you can do is make the world 0.0000000000001% less awful by being a good person and it feels very meaningless but it’s also the only thing that really matters

reminder: you can turn off video & gif autoplay under "Content & Media" in Settings

maybe my real problem is that these modern fandoms don't go far enough. me, I'm divining the true ending of Quantum Leap by the patterns of scattered flaming hot cheetos (haru-extra-spicy)

replaying the dream I was having in my head like "what the SHIT was that"

Someone is responding in Chinese to a fic I wrote and we’re talking through translate and, idk, I’m very taken by how our completely different experiences and lives on opposite sides of the world can coalesce into the shared belief that Lace from Silksong is a dumb lesbian.

maybe the real generation divide is between "oh yeah, I liked that show but the last season/ series finale was hot mashed dogshit" and "I liked that show, so the REAL series finale will be amazing! the one they aired was just a decoy, or something"

who up widening their gyre

i don't know what's going on here but its really cute

I gotchu

yeah here it is

Asked the Costco cashier if they could find out when they were getting more bananas in. (They usually have 2 pallets) Her: “We don’t have any left?! That weird guy must have bought them all up again.” Me: “Weird guy?!” H: “He bought both pallets last week and was mad we didn’t have more.”

i bought the domain ohhh.lol a while back just because and the other night i noticed it gets like 100-150 unique hits a day from people typing it in their posts and group chats where it tries to load the url preview. so i hope this annoys some people while they're trying to get their mack on

"in case you wondered how things are going on twitter" no, I will never wonder that, no thank you

honestly im good at posting because i was good at AIM away messages

Finally got my settings right

dont talk to me or my son or my sons son or my sons sons son ever again

hey where the hell did @jrbolt.bsky.social go

microblogging as a format was designed for posting pictures of your sandwich and jokes about jerking off. every time you try to make it do something else it degrades the core experience

you ever squeeze the bottle rhythmically as you pour yourself a beverage so it feels like you're extracting it from a creature, or nah

They’re just mad that their sex object’s eyes can hold disdain

A much requested color sometime this year.....

it is genuinely extremely funny that snopes called his widow the next day to ask "did your husband taser himself in the balls to death?" although unlike snopes I consider her "no, he didn't even have a taser" to be the grief-stricken ravings of a woman whose husband has just died of ball-tasering

hmm i believe if you check the records he got tased in the balls until his balls exploded

•El’dumb’ Ring• New shitty Elden Ring sticker sheets will be at Magfest this coming weekend!! (6 sheets total. 4 base game, 2 dlc) Will be available on the shop after the con ✨

As always, my policy is that if I see someone I follow talking about degenerates and gooners I unfollow the first time and if I see it again I just block now.

matt forney, blogger, sex tourist, and technically-published author of "do the philippines: how to make love with filipino girls in the philippines",

We're so back boarlord.club/lead-with-my...

awesome google maps find

he should legally change his name to dilbert

kicked out of petco because i brought my puppygirl there and she couldn't stop crying when the employee told her she wasn't a real dog

idk

do I have any hardcore shit posted on here? hmm

Hardcore shit reposted to scare all the fucking normies away trying to follow me go away you must be a level of freak that will get you sent 15GB in raw text worth of death threats from teenagers on Twitter to follow me.

Meet Cute [1/3]

seriously, you can probably pick up a kitchenaid with a burnt motor for free somewhere, and these babies predate technology. A guy can just .....make it work.

I was compelled to draw trans Dilbert again and then I blacked out what’s that other thing on my tablet

“last fall I had this idea for a zine about Dilbert quitting his job and trying to learn to be happy and coming to terms with the fact that he’s trans actually” (posted 4/18/2022)

if someone is posting about a personal experience they had and you feel the urge to make any reply along the lines of "I don't have that problem! bye!" doctors recommend boiling your primary posting device in salt water until symptoms resolve

hey guys check out this screenshot i took of the lying machine lying to me

Every time you see someone share a Grok screenshot and joke about it having motives and a personality, you're seeing someone who is no longer able to notice that they are sharing nazi propaganda. They can't perceive that their perception has been radically and maybe irreversibly changed.

magical

I am begging you, as a gift to yourself and everyone else in the year of our lord 2026, stop sharing screenshots from the nazi bar on Bsky. Go over there and share it if you want to? What's that? You don't want to because that place sucks? Well you're starting to see where I'm coming from then

I love making the silliest stuff

Intrepid Explorer sighted

did you know: some of your internet friends may have phones and you can call them