pickup trucks for the average person should not have been allowed to advance past this. if you need anything bigger, you should have to provide some kind of documentation showing you have the license and need for special heavy machinery, otherwise you get the 1990 toyota hilux

This is why I don’t really believe in conspiracy theories— nobody keeps secrets that well or for a long time

comedians are sort of like the philosophers of today (annoying white men many of whom are pedophiles)

It would work on me, it's all i'm saying.

Designer: all right Mr. Del Toro here’s those Frankenstein’s monster designs, real sexy just like you asked for. Del Toro: (nodding) this is exactly as sexy as I asked for.

The urge to preform is a mental illness witch which I am afflicted. After every @fightopera.bsky.social show I know more and more that I was born a theatre kid and I will simply die without the adulation or jeers of a crowd

Rewatching the stream to criticize my own performance, and the way I am SCREAMING when TQ shows up??!?!??

Massachusetts banned dog racing, but you can still go to any dog park and place bets on which dog is gonna shit next.

The only excuse Lois Lane has for why her interviewing Superman isn't unethical, despite their romantic entanglement, is that it would be even more unethical for the paper's other top reporter, who is Superman, to interview himself, yet she cannot say this. This dilemma should be taught in J-school.

Yall, I trapped the rat in my apartment and I don’t know what to do past this:

First good SCOTUS news I've heard in months

good morning yogurt dogs

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Doctor says “great clown pagliacci is in town. Go see him. You’ll feel better” Man says “but doctor, don’t you mean great magician clown *throws smoke bomb on floor and when it clears he is in full clown getup* PAGLIACCI!” Doctor:

experiencing the emotion of “wanting to see miette”

Man, I bet it’s weird to be John darnielle and know that No Children a song from like mid career is like your legacy?

So many diarrhea medicines on the market and bismuth subsalicyte in the only one that works for me

I’m mad. Please put it in the newspaper (@gqmagazine.bsky.social) that I’m mad. Go Sox! www.gq.com/story/yankee...

Things are getting Desperate for lil Ol me. Phone and internet cut off and I do not know how I’m gonna pay rent on Wednesday. If yall know any gigs or work for ya girl lemme know. Also just accepting cash help at this point lamoooo

The University Democrats at UT-Austin, a longstanding student group, has been told that no guests, candidates, or speakers can speak at their meetings unless the administration approves them. Submitted speakers' lists have been ignored or summarily denied. Please HMU if you know a good 1A attorney

Disney adults canceling subscriptions, vacations, etc really are making the Harry Potter adults that threw a fit over a $60 video game look like huge bitches

God bless whoever put up this pro-upzoning poster in Edgewater, please put up more

The thing that appeals to me the most about getting into the premium level of The Dream podcast is that it sounds like $5 a month and I get @seejanemarie.bsky.social Friday bargain bin (rip the hairpin)

One thing about me is that I thought I was getting a UTI but I was just so gassy that having a HUGE fart walk got rid of the bladder twinge. I do not know how my body works

so how surprised would everyone be if i told you the man who designed this bathroom FOR THE LADIES ended up buying a cybertruck

he’s a right fucking twat in this episode as well. thank fuck they rumpled him into a sex god

😤

malcolm gladwell has been a dipshit for 10,000 hours

I am once again in my element: four tall boys in and repotting plants and sweeping my patio. Stuff like this really makes me like who I am. Idk why

I deeply love to drive fast BUT this is correct, I’m sorry

is he still up there?

ME: *reading the bad news website all day* we're doomed. there's no way to come back from this ME: *11:10 pm two beers three tacos deep watching a 65 year old Black woman in a Sunday dress absolutely rock out to a dad band covering Queen Bitch* america is an idea. and a feeling in the heart.

Please someone smart tell me if eddington is good. I think I might not be smart enough to get it

Retvrn

Finally someone put words to this

The need to create is so beautiful

The success of Sinners tells me the theatrical experience isn't dying. People just want good fucking movies. The success of Superman tells me it isn't superhero fatigue. People just want good fucking movies.

People that go by a different name: when did it stop feeling like a lie to go by the better one? My first name isn’t like a deadname, but any time I tell someone “hey im Victoria” I feel like I’m lying

Behaviores Report: 100% Goode!

I have a fridge full of these lil bitches

What am I doing after 6 beers and reading a book at the bar? Eating fuvking PLUMS it’s stone fruit season and I’m going William Carlos Williams in them hoes

;)

For someone that is in the gym as much as I am, somehow none jock

it's only out of respect for his hotter wife that i don't post my true thoughts

They finally made the milk from that hotel

I’m never going to have a job again am I?