having a drink and exploring my house with a gun

billionaires will watch "The Life Aquatic" & decide to become the Jeff Goldblum character

showing up to the doom modding community like

weird therapy session today. weird nap after it. i’m wondering if i should be on antidepressants, tbh, but man do i have a bad history with those

one of my favorite facts about the US coal industry is that it employs less people than Broadway

His greed knows no bounds

it's weird to consider that trumps approval rating also essentially doubles as a survey of the percentage of americans who are warmly disposed to extremely positive on the issue of Pedophilia

easy. the isabella stewart gardner heist.

electric can opener asmr for cats

Sharif Street getting humiliated like this still hits crazy good even though I've moved

the Red Sox have scored 7 runs tonight, which is the most runs they have scored since May 5, and only the second time they’ve scored more than 5 runs since April 25 it’s not great, folks

primaries are important to the functioning of a healthy democracy in that they remind voters that all politicians are bug-eyed freaks

liz lemon! they’ve uncovered my plot to install mahmoud ahmadinejad as the supreme leader of iran! no i do not know what an ayatollah is!

Did the university of Michigan write this plan?

Smacking an ice cream sandwich against my palm like it's a pack of cigarettes

hi, i'm johnny knoxville and welcome to github

Teeny tiny towel STAT! This Northern Yellow Warbler is fresh from bathing and ready to dry off in the sun #birds

one, two-hoO, three! -- me about to ruin the day of some kid who trusts me and thinks me wise

Inside-the-park grand slam for James Wood (!!!)

can’t be dropping the ball like that lmao

At Louisiana Tech, we name dorms after Radiohead albums.

LOL GITHUB BREACH

when you sign up to write lyrics annotations on genius .com do they send the horse to kick you in the head right there or do you have to have been kicked in the head by a horse before you send in your application

late Peanuts consisted of an ever-increasing amount of Snoopy doing bits indistinguishable from Roger from American Dad

its called a plex pass cuz you see the price and go plex? pass

following the announcement of bluey catan, I'd like to express my deepest condolences to polycules across Seattle, your age regressor girlfriend is about to ruin board games night forever

FYI since I remember everyone getting mad about it: Achewood rolled back the upscaled images, and it's serving up the original files again.

calling it now. this is how they'll show bluesky on jeopardy

smh everyone knows who runs wired magazine. it’s the staten island advance

guy who keeps getting Kino Lorber and Kino Loy confused

The year is 2029. Donald Trump emerges from his bunker after running out of Diet Coke and refrigerated McDonald’s burgers. The siege lasted three days.

Yard signs got me all fucked up, voted for a local roofing company.

Bob's Burgers of Order

*fbi desperate to fill a quota* the best day to start your manifesto and buy a gun was yesterday. the second best day is today.

when you utter “cereal” in a hard-surfaced room

I have... so many questions

You've Got No Games, Charlie Brown!

I wrote a short piece about Juniper's memory and the duty all of us have in her passing to build a world where this can't happen anymore. [free to read/no paywall] www.patreon.com/posts/158697...

AL East really isn’t doing much better tbh

Nothing Compares 2 Flu

Every new network show is called JACKSON HOLLER and stars some weird-looking guy from the 90s running people off his land

Keebler Shindigs (1976-1985): A line of bite-sized, baked party crackers, shape vaguely like three of the suits in a deck of playing cards (club, spade, diamond) and also circles. Available in Cheese, Onion, Bacon, Sour Cream & Onion, and Pizza flavors.

trump had breakfast sandwiches made for whatever’s left of the press that showed up to tour the ballroom construction site. two formats of diet coke. all of them are bacon, that cheese looks seriously unmelted. dunno what kind of bread that is but it looks like a cheap supermarket kaiser roll. 1.5/5

rare example of actually decent apology / reversal on "adult content" rules. unsurprisingly, payment processor pressure behind the scenes central to what happened at all

here’s a top tip from yr favourite tired system administrator: don’t do this.

ENLARGE YOUR PENNIES https://thick-coins.net/thent.html