since pittsburgh doesn't have an nba team i have just never followed it and i am now realizing... that was my bad. I fucked up

Danhausen is real.

i've never paid a ton of attention to basketball but a commentator just called a player "rambunctious" so i'm officially in

I love baseball players so much.

First try bitchhhh

i love midtown east because there are 200 identical fast casual places called “barley & bell” with big window appliqués that say SALAD IS THE NUCLEUS OF LOVE

whenever gio is away for work i succumb to the temptations of All Night Bed Computer and wake up with god-tier youtube recs such as this 4-hour retrospective on the king's field games that has hundreds of comments that are all like "whenever i fall asleep with youtube open, i wake up to this video"

if they do anything at all to the completely perfect original english dub of dynasty warriors 3 it will be no dynasty warriors of mine

i was sad about not getting phoebe bridgers msg tickets for .5 seconds and then i remembered how people behave at her shows now and i am sad no more

I saw your profile, nothing you could ever say will interest me. Goodbye.

having now actually read this, i will say it reeeeally succeeds in making the creator of “tilly” look sad and desperate and small. still badly-framed and credulous in the way most “i’m trying to understand ai” writing is but not as dire as it looks

many years ago my mom got a wrong-number message on her answering machine where a lady sadly announced “my back’s killing me, man” and then hung up, and forever after our go-to expression of dismay has been “my back’s killing me, man”

??????

trying this

ken paxton has john cornyn tweeting like a wide reciever who got suspended for crashing his car

finished zero parades. obviously disco is in a class by itself but i think this game’s ensemble cast is stronger. i loved getting to know these freaks and i’m sad to leave them, sorry that we fucking beefed our mission and ruined your society lol

excuse me - it’s *that* spencer pratt?

the american sublime

the capitalism monkey in zero parades is my friend and i DID try to give him a gun

r/altcountry is a great place because somebody called DirtbagHound will post a steve earle song and be like "The greatest of all time. Nuff said." and another guy called F150Flyer will comment "DirtbagHound, brother, I couldn't agree more. Respect you."

we’re getting into Cheese Walks which is a little walk you take while eating a babybel cheese. get on our level

some jokes write themselves

Thinking about Gniesbert again

my home weet home

this is perfection

Okay

zero parades rules. i’m playing the stupidest character i could possibly craft and only putting points into physical stats, so when i met the boatman my cascade thought his name was literally “Boat Man” and it says that in the dialogue window now. 10/10

Text HAVOC to 7395 to let slip the dogs of war

my entire life is the result of a single tweet i made about being at a perfume class at 92y

It feels like AI discourse has shifted to how unprofitable it is, but we have to keep talking about this abhorrent, life-destroying shit that it's routinely used for. You can't use AI for harmless little productivity boosts at work without indirectly funding stories like this.

Hiring Manager: And do you know what "Scrum" is? Me: ... Hiring Manager: ... Me: [points at picture on desk] Hiring Manager: Are you pointing to a picture of my son? Me: Little Scrum?

Imagine being stressed out about life and the state of the world and then you walk outside to clear your head and see this

we were talking about an actor death and gio was like “yeah, people die” and then we both said “yuna dances” in automatic unison. Can you get a divorce from someone you aren’t married to

phrogging hider in my house

what is the point of having conference rooms that you can reserve if people do not obey the posted signage indicating it is reserved. Why visit upon me the indignity of having to go ohhhh uh i’m so sorry but i actually have this room until 4 so can you like. um i’m REALLY sorry

the ONLY content i get on facebook now is this kind of character art for random romance novels and most of them are nothing too crazy but my imagination has really been captured by this guy who “smells like ginger ale”

gio just walked out of the apartment with a giant baguette poking out of his backpack. studio ghibli ass activities

finally replaying ffvi as part of my big chronological final fantasy playthrough and man… they really never did it like this before. And nobody ever did it like this again

Got a notification from a medieval copyright lawyer

I TOOK MY SON TO HIS FIRST BARBER. THE BARBER ASKED WHAT STYLE. I SAID “TRAJAN”. THE BARBER SAID HE DID NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT. I REMOVED MY SUNGLASSES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ELEVEN YEARS. MY SON NOW HAS THE HAIRCUT OF AN EMPEROR. HE IS FOUR

this is an absolute joy and i need more of it

it’s so funny that when you call your own bank it feels like a scam

i love this piece so much. like, in a book, the protagonist who always says the right thing and never makes a mistake and acts with grace and kindness toward all is not somebody i want to read about. bring me the assholes

You know things are going well when the team is talking about the rookie QB like he’s a beat up Dell computer

[airily, to the butler, martini in one hand] just save it to the desktop

Thanks man