i hate working

after helping my mom remember to put her contacts in for a week last year i now instantly notice when other people are wearing contacts

CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!

hey so quick question. are the girls who did locktober and nnn like. cumming again. like are they all leaky and shooting ropes. are they. are they blasting nut again. like do any of these trannies ever like just. blast a monster load of thick sticky cum. does anyone know.

what emotion is this

what if i just nonchalantly tried to post this and make it my pinned do u think ppl would notice

The handjob in the parking lot that fixes u

Trump’s name appears more than a million times in the unredacted version of the latest Epstein release. Trump, who claims the files are a “hoax,” initially featured 5,300 times in the redacted version. This was only half of the 6 million documents DOJ reviewed, prompting renewed fears of cover-up.

:/

normalize snorting cocaine off Mark Zuckerberg's pussy

oh but you might get a kick out of this 🤓

how the fuck do drummers do that holy shit

girls will literally post Hornt at 10:23 on a tuesday

i learned music theory and all i got were these brainworms!

DOCTOR: What these results show is that you've never experienced insight, reflection, or interiority in your entire life. You can have no deeper thoughts than recognizing whatever you are looking at in any moment, or survival instincts like hunger for food. You are like a lizard, or a frog. ME: Woow

suddenly gaining weight while on HRT is a spiritual experience

this photo got blown out for some reason but it’s a cute effect :3

no babe i don'r want a divorce i'm just hypofixated on you is all. like the last few years i mean

making a band specifically for the purpose of playing and recording a kickass cover of pacifier by catfish and the bottlemen and then disbanding

bro last year apple music decided to reassign all of the songs on A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out onto new, AI-generated albums so that you would technically accidentally listen to them and pump up their numbers 😭 and of course i removed all of them and added them back the correct way BUT

yeah can i get a bacon greg and cheese

?

Donating my swag to science after im gone

Ahoy spongebob, drooling on me is like crack

LIIIIIFE ISSSSS A WAAAAATERFALLL, WE’RE ONE IN THE RIVER AND WE’RE ONE AGAIN AFTER THE FAAAAALLL

i don't even know what tgis means

Smell like what? Im a tactile learner btw

i mean honestly i think the evolution one looks a lot cooler so

The new LGBTQNJ+

what you know about rocking a wolf on your noggin

Hello purportedly straight man with silver hair. I see you've posted about "ass" recently. I noticed it was not necessarily attached to a woman though... Thoughts?

ELDER SCROLLS FUN FACT: In 2002, Todd Howard, Project Leader of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, had the Mark of Cowardice branded upon his flesh as penance for the retconning of The Real Barenziah, which removed lore about Khajiit penises.

meowmeowmeowmeowmeow!!!!

yeah babe its called bluesky i have like over a thousand followers on there from making funny posts and shit its not really a huge deal but its how i express myself sometimes. like check this out hold on a sec: patrick masturbateman. anyone said this fucking shit yet 🗨️ ♻️ 2 ♥️ 9

draft posting is for things that aren’t good. jokes that don’t land. ideas too stupid. because you’re not posting them. you’re posting the idea of them.“hey I thought of this. Not gonna post it or anything because that would be fucked up. but in case you were wondering it would have been this”

mfw you say you don’t support transsexual jihad

sorry to get all “political” but we should try to have a society that isnt run by an elite cabal of known pedophiles

meowmeowmeowow!!!

my exact transliteration of the guy’s statement: n̩.amˌɑn.ə.ʔəˈtʰeəmpt˥˩ təˌzɛəp.ðəˈʃɪt.aʊɾ.ə.ðɪsˈwãʊːspˌnɛst wɪˌðaʊtˌgɛʕ.ɪ̈nˈstʊ̃ːːŋ˧˦˧

anyone ever see that video where the guy says “and i’m ‘onna a-TTEMPT, ta zap the shit outta this woaosp nest,,, without gettin’ stũng” and then he fails

Putting my life savings on the return of Jesus Christ JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL AND MAKE ME RICH HALLELUJAH

we needed to get our pedestrian flattening numbers higher

Making silly little mouth noises with the girls >>>>

Conservative Christian boys will describe their ideal partner and it’s just a teenage girl with the mannerisms of a golden retriever that has no agency of their own

They're calling HRT a "sex-rejecting procedure" now. I guess that means my wife gives me HRT every night!

This one star review of a local convenience store... fair enough

end of za worrrrrrrrld sono chi no kiokuuuuuuu

1 house wasn’t enough for me so i bought a 2nd one, a beach front property on Nantucket. i need 2 places to hang all my trophies and also a beach to run around with my bare ass jiggling.