opening up bluesky and seeing screenshots of innumerable epstein emails was not on my bingo card i must admit

You wouldn't ask a cis woman how often she washes her bra...

century of faggotry begins NOW

this is the concept of “credit card touring” in bikepacking

baaaabe please 🥺 can we do earthworm sex tonight 🪱

It’s like my grandpa always said: fish wife, fish knife

happy lacroix vampire the masquerade lesbian amazing wednesday

"You can't un-invent AI!" We can't un-invent asbestos either. That doesn't mean we have to use it.

dont fuck with me dawg. i am a sexual chimpanzee and the world is my forest canopy

being forced to shower daily or else you reek is equivalent to being tortured

this thing on?

Creatine

“I bought this before Elon went crazy” tramp stamp.

Can we normalize Tweets?

first night with the heater on got me waking up like

aw dude i did it again. I played with your heart bro.

goodnight homeosexuals

x is an unfortunate website why must all of my friends be there and all of the juice be where the bluechecks and view counts are

i love this creature… the helicopter

Satellite: I love operating flawlessly without malfunctions or upper atmospheric drag The Nefarious X-Class Solar Flare:

ok i’m suddenly curious if you’re plural and you make plans to hang out with a friend is it pretty easy to have the same person fronting during the hangout or is it kind of a crapshoot

guys i’m past 10% of my twitter post volume! :D

Need a shoulder to chew on

if someone pet me i would owe them my life

moddist mouse and its a streamer guy who is way into skyrim mods and idk plays as a mouse or something leave me alone im sorry

We don't have the borealis so I'm just rubbing my eyes kinda hard

when i was 15 i was convinced i wasn’t good enough for my very pretty girlfriend so i did all her homework for her, which eventually included reading “slaughterhouse-five,” which immediately led to me ignoring the fuck out of my very pretty girlfriend as i read kurt vonnegut’s other 13 novels.

you, a simpleton: hunter x hunter me, a genius: hunter²

pure cope, seething out my eyeballs: aurora. tacky. inelegant. unsubtle!

Fate chose you well.

I for one welcome our new multicolor overlords

environmentally conscious chaser: transgender is like Kia EV6

godDAMN

if no one got me I know cheesy bean and rice burrito for me

i need a shirt that says i heart price gouging

if you work for doordash, contact me on signal at marisakabas.04

by god skinner, aurora borealis?!

Nightsky Reminders - get something to eat - drink some water - take your meds - posture check

this thing on?

changing my sex is like straightening my hair, not in its frivolity but because everyone has an opinion and thinks i’m crazy for doing something so blatantly acceptable

rotten apple by alice in chains…

asking my lesbian t4c friends “isn’t that… gay?”

who remembers spunow

the “i’ve never had an almond joy before!” to “oh my god was there even a single almond in that massive bar of coconut??” pipeline

ok guys i gotta get… lunch

auditing my bank statements