Trevor is Very Proud to share that he has had Another Tweezer Cricket!

i feel like you all need this

(cracking my 4th egg into a bowl) the egg must flow

It’s a really special parasocial relationship when there’s someone you’ve followed for years without a follow back. like yessss that’s my friend that doesn’t know me and doesn’t want to

Insane little thing on antiques roadshow

meep moop

one week until my top surgery, I’m trying to raise around $1,000 more to reach $3,000. that will cover my surgery deposit and around 4 months of care credit payments to help carry me over until I can work and get my electrolysis books filled up :) !

help my bestie cedar afford top surgery! he's an awesome guy and really needs the help!

I love the Talmud

HOW TO GET MY NEW MAC NOT TO SHOW ME 2019 TEXTS WITH MY ABUSIVE EX AT THE TOP OF MY MESSAGES APP GOOGLE SEARCH

dad fuckers out there represent how many burger themed jokes could you withstand during one meal

master chief self suck @pcgamer.com

What is this creature…?

raccoon girl #art #oc

gf said she could see me trying to clean cotton candy in water and getting mad when it dissolves. what did she mean by this?

boiling the midnight pasta

does anyone else ever get hungry for food or is that just me

poems or drawings for people you like 😀 🤔 photo nature walk 🤔 improve moonwalking skill

the arbiter from halo 3 could pull these off so well

can anyone help me think of things to do

sorry my girlfriend’s laying on me i’m gonna be late to work

lubed and gaped and popped open wide. ready to receive the full measure of benjamin franklins dick

cracking open a miller aight life

lingering dune question: ignoring paul’s kids, alia is preborn and can see into the male parts of her genetic memory. is that something the bene gesserit were interested in? is that abomination or is abomination halting your aging process?

computer is very scary which is why you have to treat computer like scared horse. feed computer sugar cubes and apples. get it familiar with your scent. and if it breaks its ankle. well. it was nice knowing computer.

“Only people you follow can interact” NO HOW AM I GOING TO WIN YOUR HEART!?!?

I think the attention economy has been deeply bad for this, and is what leads to tons of reporting on efforts that are just not going to happen

omgggg did Jesus die?

this is what happened to me, btw

hey siri please fast forward 5 hours

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes coomers

when an old guy follows me it’s an instant block, when a crazy guy follows me it’s instant mutuals

i just discovered virtualbox exists and i might not have to unencrypt my entire hard drive can i get a hell yeah (please tell me now if virtualbox is ass)

(trying desperately to avoid admitting that i pissed myself) (dripping noises) everyone… the rumors are prue. crue. the. i’m pregnant

i want you all to know that when i saw that collarbone post i described it as “probably ragebait” immediately… we must learn to be less susceptible

ME TO MY FRIEND WHEN THE BAND COMES OUT FOR THE ENCORE: Ugh. No, dude, don’t clap, it just encourages them. They’re fucking desperate for attention 🙄

Oh shit realizing I said "at least it's Friday" to a guy in total sincerity today. It's not Friday huh

im gonna watch star trek now i'll lyk if captain picard gets me feeling some type of way

ladies and gentlethems i present to you: Strawberry Progarita

if your piss isnt the same color as your shonen battle aura you should go to church immediately

I would like just one month of life in a cocoon where no one makes any claims on my time or attention and I get to pupate in peace. 🫠

i love that Van of CatB invented the word pacifically just for his song and then pronounced it PASS-if-ICK-aly

every time i say oof it's actually because im begging my french siri to add eggs to my shopping list

sooooome people call me mauuuurice

I don't have a lot of nice things to say about Pam Bondi, but I will say this: I wouldn't be where I am today if not for her secretly giving birth to me June 1993 in the janitorial closet of the Orlando airport Romano's Macaroni Grill, directly over that wheelie mop bucket full of soapy gray water.