bebe

if i die before my mom does her friends are going to use AI to generate pics of me as an angel and that's why i refuse to kill myself

what's the opposite of ate? barfed? as in "you really barfed with this one bestie"

from the table of contents of "dewey decimal system"

me: "did you see that girl" jade: "no i was busy thinking about your feet"

don’t get me wrong i love girl cock and boy pussy but surely there exists a secret third menu for nonbinary gooch

i might have swallowed cum but its so hard to tell with trans girls. i think i need to try again to be sure

confucktor

marry the music. fuck the conductor. kill the orchestra

married to the music. experiencing emotional detachment from the music. serving divorce papers to the music. taking the kids from the music 🎶

no you don't understand. that's my emotional support bad take. under the ADA you gotta let me have it

@jade.is.vgay.fyi why wont u support me and my knife-suckin' dreams

i’m prettysexual which means i’m attracted to women who are pretty

my girlfriend is a woman of many showers

coworker came out as a woman today. luckily i'm an ally so i'm gonna start talking over her in meetings

i get so attached to these little people in my phone. they like my posts and my brain goes "hell yeah bro have some fuckin dopamine courtesy of sickducker69"

wuhghhgfhhhf 🫪

get u a girl who shaves off a little too much of ur eyebrow by accident. love her. forgive her. trust her to do ur eyebrows again in the future bc she won't mess up a second time she promises. that's the kind of girl we should all aspire to date i think

whenever francis likes my posts it feels like i'm winning an academy award 🏆 i'd like to thank god for making me so much hotter and funnier than everyone else

i'm not TRYING to become a hornyposter it's just that i'm horny all the time and posting. you've gotta believe me officer

what's the worst reason you didn't go on a second date w someone?

thinking about posting cock. i don't have one i'm just imagining if i did. think it'd be like 4 monster cans wide and 6 tall probably

sorry babe i spilled cum on your blahaj

if u can’t accept me at my hello kitty doin a robbery then u don’t deserve me at my baddie furby smokin a cigarette

i was in the backseat of a friend's car where i was on shark duty to appropriately hug the shark and you know DAMM well i hugged blahajini (her name) tightly the whole time. apparently not everyone does take shark duty seriously and i think that is a mark of poor moral character.

hate when discord servers advertise themselves as "no drama" like tf do u think i'm here for??

Please post more dick pics 🤤

ever since i was a little girl i always knew i wanted to be some guy

every time a dog girl follows you an angel gets its wings

i assume oomfs are sexy on principle

pls enjoy the alt text 😌🩷

still not quite over the fact that i watched 15 year olds get sued for millions of dollars for downloading twelve songs and now we all have to accept AI slop because every tech company in the known universe decided that IP laws don't exist now that they're inconvenient for them

Emotionally disentangle my genderfluid balls

i'm a womanaholic i think

there's nothing brave about standing up for trans women. bravery is not the absence of cowardice. either you protect women or you're a spineless tube of dickcheese

This is a ringing endorsement

i am normal and can be trusted around my wife

wish i were a nintendo switch pro controller rn

my favorite thing about bluesky is that you get to know what everyone looks like naked. objectively the best social media

hi i love my girlfriend

This was yaoi back in 1989.

this graduation speech moment is notable, and her amazed shock at having failed to read the room feels instructive. when you're inside the bubble, you think everybody else is. but everybody isn't.

me to my stress ball whenever i see my enemies: 🫩🫪🫩🫪🫩🫪🫩🫪🫩🫪🫩🫪

i got kicked out of the Future Crimes Unit after i dropped my ice cream cone into the precog tank and it killed the weird little guy in it

I usually try to explain it like this: picture Beyoncé as JD Vance. Now imagine they're Québecois. Doesn't look so much like the Emu War was caused by sadbois mewing now, does it?

I think the moon is made of cheese

update: fatal flaw. turns out if you want to have sex and your girlfriend wants to play minecraft you won't be having sex 😔

never beating the horse girl allegations