‘I know picture editors who use subtext and they are all cowards.’

The twins are discussing YouTubers and I've never related to this tweet more.

The biggest twat on the road this morning was in a VW Golf rather than a BMW, but then if that wasn't weird enough, an Audi then willingly rescinded its right of way to me. Reckon I need a lie down.

It's exactly five years since Mogwai's Stuart Braithwaite (@plasmatron.bsky.social) gave his mum a scare by quoting his favourite Public Enemy lyric on Twitter

Harry Potter fan who fell into a coma shortly after reading The Deathly Hallows wakes up in 2025

insane foreshadowing

oh it's time to post the Tetris story again. (short version: reporter goes to cover early e-sports, discovers that his wife is, unknowingly, the greatest Tetris player in the world) archive.boston.com/news/globe/m...

There's never "enough" for these people.

This is a lightning bolt in a storm. On Jupiter.

Really enjoying the Riyadh Comedy Festival, guys. Don’t know why it’s getting so much bad press. The audiences are loving it. Absolutely laughing their heads on.

mrbeast has offered one billion dollars to anyone who successfully hunts him down and eats him

lightning has the chance to do the funniest thing

We've done the math: Born Jan. 3, 1975, Danica McKellar is 18,530 days old today, matching Wilford Brimley's age on the day 'Cocoon' was released. Congrats Danica! You've reached the Brimley/Cocoon Line.

All-timer wikipedia article

not true

Fucks sake #DRFC

"AMELIA EARHART IS THE ZODIAC"

Another Saturday afternoon to be amused by this.

Anyway, around this time 17 years ago I was indulging in a spot of afternoon drinking.

Found myself whistling this whilst hanging out the washing. 15 years old now. Not sure if it's what it was originally intended for at the time but it's aged very well. youtu.be/u1MZxg795vg?...

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

what if we kissed on the pretty freight machine

How long do you think it went from 'hey, the sharp edge of this rock makes hunting easier, we can eat regularly!' to 'I can finally get rid of Ugg, the big annoying bastard!'

I was looking up Brooklyn Beckham because of REASONS and I’ve never seen a more savage burn.

Roses are red Cacti are prickly

me: i’d like to show off my arms clerk: okay me: and i want to look snazzy clerk: gotcha me: but also ward off vampires clerk: wait right here

Sterling Wanker South Dakota, State Census, 1925

Daughter has gone from singing the U-Switch advert to K-Pop Demon Hunters. I can live with it, to be honest.

putting a piece of exercise equipment in the other room

We keep waiting for an asteroid to hit us, but the asteroids lower their music and lock their doors when they pass by THIS planet.

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

Good morning champions!!!

Spurs putting out some of the reserves but then so are we. I reckon we can give them a decent go of it.

Adding "Rapture Survivor" to my CV.

They've lost the 9yos

"the autism problem" "the migration problem" "the trans problem" Never the fucking "rich white guy problem"

Racist property developer allows Muslim man to live rent-free

Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall

"People weren't autistic in my day," says Dad over his trainset, circling a scale model of 1 district of Naples that he has been to every year since 1973

It’s so weird watching the actually weirdest people in the world try and scare people using neurodivergence as a threat. “You wouldn’t want… more weird people… would you? You want… normal guys! LIKE ME!”

Why are the American president's claims about autism the first item on British news bulletins? He's not our president, the advice doesn't apply here and he's not presented any evidence to support his assertions. So why spread these claims? What make this the biggest story in the UK?

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

once again, if tylenol caused autism, america would have a better rail system

Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.

People say "autism never used to exist" and then you go to the Natural History Museum and the exhibit has a caption like "Born in 1762, The Revd [name] was famously irascible, steadfast in his routine, and dedicated his life to collecting 25,000 rare beetle specimens".

"You had 60,000 people in hotels. At least 59,000 of them weren't going to Rwanda. You didn't have any plan at all for 99% of them did you?" was not a question he was asked on Today