almond flavor called Cyanaide

ain't nothing poor about it

help me convince my wife to change our last name to Zoldyck

remember when people said kendrick lamar's halftime show was a scathing indictment of the current administratio?

visiting my aunt

I am 99% sure in world history there has not been an "opposition" party so on its face powerful as the Democrats during an authoritarian takeover that has done so unbelievably little.

i can't smile. i've forgotten how. i don't know how to pretend that i'm having fun. not anymore.

you think i'm mad? bish i bish i might be / why don't you stand up and come over here and fight me? i'm bleeding hatred but i fill myself up nightly / i might be wrong but i always do the right thing

beyblade. babe laid. bae blaidd.

"lets get this fuckin party started," i whisper as i type "pnpm run unit-tests" on my extra loud keyboard. the rain forests burn.

THOT SQUAD fkn slaps yall

i am being told in the DMs that he recently made a completely unhinged movie with nic cage, "prisoner's ghostland"

Tak Sakaguchi should have been a global superstar

typos are like my gettysburg

the party of it's not gay bc i have a wife

at night I cannot sleep, my strength has been struck down, my life is ebbing away

ba ma zu na la amu pa go lu ne me a ba du

something has been torn open in the world and i am dangling above the gap, staring into a place where i do not want to be.

my credit card security code is 311 so now every time i buy something i get the absolute worst song stuck in my head

help! my schemes all end in capers

as the new world dies, what wondrous drugs might i take?

do you guys remember game of thrones

the US is actively imploding and i'm over here shopping for groceries

why a clove of garlic 75¢ now

i love the smell of the purina dogfood factory on the breeze

(It was unlikely, but so was everything unexpected that had happened so far. My risk assessment module had given up generating reports three hours ago.)

when will the political unrest settle down so I can go back to talking about myself???

every monday is like the worst day of my life

once again it is monday and i am barely functional

you can't remember i won't let you forget

rap hook like "bish i might be / bish i (bish i) might be"

i didn't choose to be born under this dying sun, just like the rest of us

Minnesotans are showing the soul of the United States to the world.

What's your dad's phone number?

calling cyberpunk "cpunk" but pronouncing it like "spunk"

i swear to god i will burn this fucking place to the ground

all of us are artificially limiting the content of our consciousness just to manage the biofeedback loops necessary for survival; it's just that we call it "watching anime"

What if we all gained 60lbs, wore stupid tactical gear and arrested ICE agents. If they complain we say we're ICE agents and we don't need to prove it.

ICE CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE SUCKING DICKS UNTIL THEY LEARN HOW TO CUP THE BALLS

ATTENTION ICE: WE SAW YOU GUYS SUCKING EACH OTHERS DICKS IN THE PARKING LOT LAST NIGHT

what if we all just wear stupid tactical vests and jeans and talk about how tiny our dicks are and how we're glad there are no women around to make us feel inadequate? ICE wouldn't know who to illegally abduct and murder vs who to make a job offer

if you're like me, you only wash your hands if you shit on them. but thanks to the ChatGPT API, we're reinventing the anus-to-handhsake pipeline--changing the way you think about shitting on your hands forever

spelling out "SEND HELP" with coconuts across the continental US hoping europe will notice it on google maps

turns out the gods we thought were dying were just sharpening their blades

i wonder what that cop who tazed himself in the balls is doing

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