What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Great. How tf am I supposed to disguise my voice when I call clients back now?

I should be rotting away on a beach somewhere

I’m a big believer in what I call “leasing the day.” You know, just a temporary agreement. I’ll use it for a few hours, maybe return it with a half-eaten sandwich and a vague sense of accomplishment. It’s a better deal.

Just posting straight to drafts atm

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

every time i do a marijuana i remember why i do so much of the marijuanas

I'm only here for the daylight savings jokes

Lame, but by choice.

🎶 something about you makes me think of Hawaii 🎶

If the world goes to shit meet me at Perkins

If I had a alt, I'd only tell you.

should be horizontal now

Tis the hour to post unfinished drafts

Something something edibles

Cats pre-food: We love you! You’re the greatest cat dad everrrrrrrr! Post food: Greatest *what*?? Do I know you?

Eight minutes till edibles

Drafts are where my posts go to blossom

And so, in summary, fuck everything

💃🔥💃 youtu.be/m0ODoeBc04g?...

Better be necrotizing fasciitis

I’m at mummification levels of salt intake

Let’s all call Massie today and get him to switch parties. Then force Gonzalez to resign. Then get the gavel, issue some subpoenas, and impeach some motherfuckers

This post is for all of you in every time zone all around the world. I keep hearing that Bluesky is still mostly North American. But I think there’s lots of you around the world that love cities, and want them to be better. We want @urbantruth.bsky.social to be global. I hope you’ll check us out.

Melting into a big deep sigh

Trader Joe’s doesn’t sell French cocaine wtf

What’s wrong, Congress? You’ve barely even touched your checks and balances

the fifa peace prize used to mean something

Impeachment should be the compromise position at this point

Let's do what we gots to do.

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some Zen to the feed

A true patriot would leak the Epstein files

If you’re just waking up, go bump that line of stevia, you’ll need it

If you grew up in the Midwest this was 💯 a thing with small-town cops

It’s just the edibles talking at this point with chocolate chip cookie dough weighing in from time to time

I saved that draft post for all of us

At least there’s Advil pm

Ch-ch-ch-Ceaucescu

I popped on to shitpost about being stoned and eating various pantry items with Nutella but goddamn reality sure likes to shiv your mood these days

I hate it here

[Redacted]

Babe... wake up. You're gonna miss the beginning of World War 3.

America: [1776-?] Some great ideas marred by poor direction and unlikable characters. Greed, bigotry, and gratuitous violence. ★★☆☆☆

the horrors can cease to amaze now pls

plan a heist this year. cmon. you know you want to. it would a great year for heists. the cops are busy. do a heist.

Grape-nuts with xanax sprinkles

A bunch edible gummies got stuck together so instead of fussing with peeling them apart I just ate them

Sure would be swell if shit wasn’t corrupt as fuck

Sipping on caramel sauce