@daveprobert.bsky.social spooky timing, re: my wailing about my jobs 😭

I've been watching The Empress, and it is belting, but I spoiled myself by reading the history (WHEN WILL I LEARN?) and now I don't want to watch the cutest toddler on telly die on typhoid fever 😭😭😭😭 She's got a fever. Brb, putting the telly in the fridge.

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat

“What’s the charge? Eating a seal?”

If kids come get sweets, then reappear ten minutes later having ineptly swapped costumes around, let them have more sweets. It's just sweets. Let them think they're criminal geniuses. Shut the door before you burst out laughing.

My 2yo just informed me that her favorite food is gummy bears wrapped in salami. Then she held eye contact while wrapping a gummy bear in salami and eating it.

What an absolute treasure Diane Keaton was. Her wit never tired, nor did her style.

Indiana Jones and the tomb of the two really good friends

Indiana Jones and the phallic artifact that was clearly used for ceremonial purposes.

Why isn't it 2026 yet? I need this. Look at these vampires. Look. At. Them. youtu.be/dr0q5FHUO1E?...

Nightmare on Elm Street but Freddie Kruger just wants to get a decent night's sleep...

The Thing, but it just wanted to be a dog, because he was the goodest boy

Scream but Ghostface keeps forgetting to turn the voice changer on so, suddenly, they have to make awkward small talk instead of killing their friends.

I Know What You Did Last Summer but the Fisherman is really incompetent and every time he tries to revenge murder the kids they just kill him again.

The Shining but Jack Torrance channels his big feelings into writing a bestseller

real shitposters only use lower case because we are anti-capitalism

Good news! The Green Man's War is a Kindle ebook deal for October. You can get fully caught up with Dan Mackmain's adventures before The Green Man's Holiday is published on 30th October. www.amazon.co.uk/Green-Mans-W...

Sometimes, as acquiring/commissioning editor, my only wish for people who want to submit to the venue: Read the magazine/journal/lit mag you are submitting. Get a feel/tone of it. Otherwise, you will be sending something that doesn't really fit their vibe. #writingcommunity #protip

Absolutely love this post. Another example why we need to study history from the bottom up, not necessarily top down.

Guess what’s finally happening!!!!!!!

I just saw someone use the abbreviation “AI;DR” and I’ll be laughing for a while.

Are you in Leeds? The council is seeking input into shaping the future of our library services. Let them know how important you think our libraries are! surveys.leeds.gov.uk/s/llc2025

On that note: Trans authors (I mean authors who are trans, NOT cis people who write about trans people), drop your book links here and I'll try to repost as many as I can throughout the day. Cis people: Repost trans authors' book links. Cis people who want to complain about being excluded: gtfo

Dr Jones by Aqua

Yeah, so, I don’t think people understand how dangerous this is Most Of The World Runs On Spreadsheets

In memoriam...

"a voice loud enough to blow the froth off a horlicks two tables away" Godsdamn the music of "froth off a horlicks" and SO brutal. Legendary

"My name's Kitty. I could have married, I've given gallons of blood and I can't stomach whelks, so that's me for you." RIP Patricia Routledge.

New episode! The twins are on another internship, this time at Flair, the nation’s hottest new fashion magazine! Liz is taken under glamorous editor Leona’s wing, while Jessica is stuck doing manual labour for photographer Quentin and demanding model Simone 👠👙🪨 headstuffpodcasts.com/show/double-...

I regret that I must ruin your day by showing you the baby that has arrived at our house (made by laureltreepottery.co.uk)

Hwæt! 🐉 Ever wondered what the epic poem Beowulf sounds like spoken in Old English? #NationalPoetryDay

The curious case of the Hammersmith Ghost - how a shrouded spectre panicked London and made legal history! hypnogoria.com/folkl... #FolkloreThursday #ghosts # history

I don't think "getting toasted. niiiicely toasted" every time I make toast, but I don't *not* think it either

This always sounds good until we find out who is considered toxic. Like is funding a legal campaign to erase an entire group's existence & posting triumphant selfies every time you manage to hurt them more or less toxic than the people who are hurt being upset about it? These are vital questions!

Thei did the Mash; thei did the Monstere Mash. The Monstere Mash: beholde, sepulchral smash! Thei did the Mash, and it kaughte on moost fast - Hark, heare the Mash! Forsooth, the Monstere Mash!

one of my favourite crochet pattern designers has an October sale on for their spooky patterns, and i absolutely love these, i've made loads of them and they're great, clear, and super worth the full price let alone the sale one www.sixeldesign.com

Please try to enjoy each fact equally

What in the Jumpers-for-Goalposts is this bollocks? Is it a direct quote from one of those "70s kids drank from the hosepipe" AI slop posts? This fucking faux-nostalgia IS THE EXACT FUCKING PROBLEM. Also, painting fences is a pain in the arse, and our next door neighbour is a dick.

Go swimming with gifs Grab a coffee with ppts Help docs move furniture

This was fantastic and I propose that today we do the same thing with Star Trek. Mainly because the first one I thought of was: For the World is Hollow, and I Have Touched the Knob

A milk float transformer would just turn into a bloke that fucks ur mum

Back when Twitter was just about bearable I sent out a hopeful Tweet asking for Lovely Beatles Moments. Not songs or albums - just shards of Beatleness that make people happy. I turned the responses into a little zine. Here it is. Hope you like it.

“My wife went to Riyadh to see an edgy comedian” “Jimmy Carr?” “No, she went of her own accord”

Some days I'm like "the internet was a mistake" and some days I want to watch a 17 minute video of a nerdy guy methodically stress testing popular brands of anchors to see when they fail catastrophically and how much drywall they take out www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHb-...

It's Durga Puja week! So I should probably promote A Taste of Blessings, my romance novella from 2016 set amidst an annual Bengali Hindu celebration in suburban Ohio. Lifted directly from my own experience* and dedicated to my late father, who passed away on 10/7/14. books2read.com/u/4jDy5v

A Nosferatu three layer reduction lino print I made back in 2017 when I had the patience for reduction lino printing 😖...