rover suede
@roversuede.bsky.social
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creator of HBO’s “Girls”
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rover suede
rebar mcentire?
2 days ago
Shania Twain lives in my walls and sometimes presses her mouth up to electric outlets or holes I've punched and she begs for sips of mustard and I say no Shania please you can't keep living like this and she says please I need mustard and then I give her some mustard so she leaves me alone for a bit
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rover suede
georgia-lux
almost 2 years ago
ohhhhh oh oh i see. at my old church we pronounced it "jod" but we're talking about the same guy. sorry sorry let me sheathe my weapon
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Who you calling a cootie queen you LINT LICKER?
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
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Congratuwations, you pwayed yoursewf
12 days ago
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rover suede
Grobian Syboe
over 1 year ago
When Tom from Tom and Jerry gets his pan knocked in by Jerry, and he does that big howl. Haunting. He’s in a lot of pain, there’s anguish there.
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bakoon
29 days ago
there is only one hope for humanity- the synthesizer
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greenhorn footpad
10 months ago
poop smells like dog poop poop smells like dog poop but im human poop smells like dog poop but im human reddit
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wargen
about 1 month ago
(as a donkey walks by) ah the noble donkey! (donkey moves out of earshot) foolish beast
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how it feels to live in the US
about 1 month ago
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leon
about 1 month ago
yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization
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If he'd claimed he teleported to any place besides Waffle House I'd say obviously he's full of shit. But Waffle house...
about 1 month ago
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“Chicago pizza isn’t real pizza” is the “I hate the word moist” of food takes
about 2 months ago
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Inhalation is still the top way to get stuff into the lungs
about 2 months ago
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rover suede
Maybe It Will Happen Today
11 months ago
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Tamper Proof Lid
about 2 months ago
The mind is the Gun of the brain
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wargen
about 2 months ago
my brother: so after Deb retires from Pfizer we’ll probably sell the house up north and move to Hermosa. me: nice that’s cool. you know the Hatchet Gang? it’s like 80 guys with hatchets. they are after me. they think i stole a relic but i didn’t. it’s a long story. can i smoke out back?
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remember not to trust anything you see or hear today
about 2 months ago
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Miles, knitting screaming agony werewolf
about 1 year ago
a world without trans people has never existed and never will
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Santana Abraxas
about 2 months ago
Whispering the word "poison" in your ear, thereby poisoning you with word poison.
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new term for male penis: henis
about 2 months ago
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i do take some comfort knowing that stephen miller will never be able to dine in a restaurant for the rest of his life
about 2 months ago
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I can’t have been the only one to spot actor Dann Florek in this week’s The Pitt. Florekheads drop an extra N in the comments if you agree he’s a Dann Fine Performer!
about 2 months ago
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rover suede
Marisa Kabas
about 2 months ago
sorry i never responded to your email, i didn't want to and then i forgot
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today i will only be half listening and quarter responding
about 2 months ago
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Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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rover suede
😈 Leela The Monster 🧛♀️
about 2 months ago
Come on, everybody, we can manifest this!
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rover suede
more mr. nice guy
3 months ago
one of those israeli military jizz retrieval units going berserk and jacking off a whole village
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Greg the Miller
6 months ago
walking with my hands behind my back so people think i am wise
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Tamper Proof Lid
2 months ago
Me omw to the break room when they send an email that’s like, there’s extra lunch from that earlier meeting in the break room
add a skeleton here at some point
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On a good day at my 40hr/wk job I do about 10 min of actual work. Most days I’m punishing them for me not going to bed early enough the night before and I don’t do any work at all
2 months ago
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one hundred thousand million bees
2 months ago
playing with my boyfriends drill while he is at work im drilling the dirt in the backyard
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rover suede
dog in the ER
2 months ago
Bro her productive cough
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Ygrene
2 months ago
(explaining war to a conservative in a way that they might understand) bombing a country is kind of like changing their cracker barrel logo
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BayBayFriend
2 months ago
once i figure out how to get certain items and do certain things, well… haha. let’s just say. well.
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with slightly different sound effects Sirāt could have been the funniest movie of the year
2 months ago
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rover suede
Cohen is a Ghost
4 months ago
Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*
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rover suede
Blue sky nice ghost
9 months ago
Caterpillar waking up halfway through metamorphosis: I'm goo. Shit. Shit. Calm down. Go back to sleep. I'm really straight-up goo right now. Fuck
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crazy that a few years ago Noem was a frontrunner for vice president, and now last I heard she was working as a mannequin at an abandoned shopping mall
2 months ago
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rover suede
Peetoom🐺🍺
2 months ago
Hey kid you cant just do what you wanna do your whole life youre gonna a have to get a job at, or, go to the prison
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Im a lot like the Sloth victim in Se7en: -landlord said Im the ideal tenant -appear to be dead until disturbed -chewed my own tongue off a long time ago
3 months ago
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rover suede
Better Things Are Possible
about 1 year ago
But we're going to touch the stove and we'll be touching it more than probably ever before. And we're not going to get burned. We're not going to get burned
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war is pretty much the worst thing you could ever declare
3 months ago
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You all have proved my point that actor Kevin Corrigan is grossly underappreciated
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Nobody: Nobody: Literally no one: (this skeet takes place after the heat death of the universe)
3 months ago
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rover suede
mark magark
3 months ago
Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
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rover suede
Anthony D. Herrera
3 months ago
Dog's fucking around on the Ouija board asking the Devil if he's a good boy and shit.
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Kevin Corrigan appreciation thread. Use this space to talk about your fav Kev stories and memories
3 months ago
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rover suede
Gef the Toking Mongoose
3 months ago
you come to me on the day of my tummy's hurting
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