i famously don't have a dick anymore but if i did i would rather someone refer to it as a "schlong" than a "gock"

when i lived in england i had a chinese malaysian housemate who cooked a dinner for us on one of the build-up days for the chinese new year. we ate dozens of chicken satays, and asked him which day this one was. he paused for a moment to translate and said, "it is the birthday of all living things"

pick me voice: i would have been one of the cherished castrati

more evidence from my working theory that if you are a white woman with tattoos coming into the USA, immigration is going to mess your shit up

18th century tabloid journalist hiding in some earl's bushes furiously doing a wood carving of him 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰 with an actress

2 years ago i had my first and only lucid dream. it started from me waking up briefly and then slipping right back into the dream i had been in, but with the awareness that it was really a dream. felt like i had one of those flaming, dragon ball z auras around me. lasted maybe 20 seconds

LMAO

summer of 2001 i lived in the PNW, the puget sound area, around bremerton. drove one of these mid 80s toyota trucks, though mine was blue, beat-up, had normal wheels and suspension. the spark plugs needed changing but i never got around to it. it was a manual transmission and incredibly fun to drive

not the point but this would be an hilarious address for a trans woman to have

an interesting thing about this era is we get to find out what the limits of all these systems are: moral, legal, logistical, military, etc. we never had anyone reckless and depraved enough to test them to this extent

imagining an alternative adolescence for myself if i was born 30 years later and getting black market hrt for myself, from idk age 13 or 14 on, and trying to hide the effects from everyone for the next 4-5 years

in the cold times i dress like a somewhat prim, middle aged, middle class german woman and in the warm times i dress like a ho, and i am d y i n g to be a ho again. god!

that's right

angry drunk are angry ppl. morose drunks are morose. guys who get a bit gay after three beers are GAY. me? i'm jovial

banned from 3 subreddits and counting for continually referring to the olympics as the olymp-Os

every day there should be a secret word on here and every post gets automatically deleted unless it begins with that word and so there's a game to figure it out

i don't understand what happened here

egg voice, casually: yeah, i can fuck for hours if you're up for it (because i'm dissociated)

bernie_sanders_in_a_parka.jpg: i am once again asking the dissolvable stitches in my labia to dissolve

this bitch live in a geodesic dome 😂

am i posting again? maybe. it feels like someone on this website has to

office space (1999) but directed by david lynch and starring kyle maclachlan and laura dern instead of ron livingston and jennifer anniston

reading my github commits from a while ago i get a feeling for how difficult it must have been all these years for others to work with me

just popping in real quick to say that i had great luck with a mango just now. it was delicious and i ate it over the sink like an animal. ok see you next week, maybe

going to pull back from here for a week or two. enjoyable though it is for me, i burn up too much time and energy on it these days, and i need to focus on securing that bag. smell ya later ✌️

she take the egg yolks then she store the egg whites she make carbonara then a whiskey sour

living in berlin a long time means walking in an area you don't know and seeing some tucked away corner of a building and suddenly a 9 year old memory comes back: there was a bar here, we stepped out into the cold air to smoke, wasted. "we" is no more; all moved back to their home countries, but you

from my balcony i can look at the park inn in mitte, a 45 story building that i bungee jumped off of as part of a bachelor party in 2015, and the bottoms of my feet get all tingly. what a strange, foolish thing to have done

quixotic at this point but you guys have got to stop using "TERF" as a synonym for "transphobe." read a dang book or two!!

they spend too much time on pornhub

never been on it myself but instagram seems like a hypercharged, full-spectrum version of going to the dentist in america where they tell you oh btw your teeth look like shit and have you considered spending $8000 to make them presentable?

do you have to let it fester do you have to do you have to do you have to let it fester

neukölln leute wer hat diesen riesigin knall gestern so gegen 4h gehört?

ah just in time for me. everything's coming up tranna

min-max optimisation problem where you minimise how often you fuck your own husband and maximise how often you fuck other husbands

growing up i had a friend with a collie. if you threw a blanket over him (the collie), he would make an attempt to free himself. sometimes he could, but other times he couldn't and would just curl up and go to sleep

ding ding ding

sisyphean

some doll has got to have named herself jucika by now right?

it is a shitpost which became sincere

WikipediaRecipes

democrat voice: i am introducing legislation to get that number down to 15

when i post something and ppl engage with it: thank you my dear friends when they're still doing it the next day: god, move on. losers 🙄

the solution is clear: we must sink the arabian peninsula

it's-a-me: your little venice bitch

the first rule of diy club is