grindcore band called asparagus pee

no more puns just asking all my nieces and nephews about their love lives as cringily as possible before oversharing about my own as my mortified sister tries to get her useless husband to get the sherry bottle away from me but he's busy looking down my cleavage

the final stage in transition is killing my urge to make dad jokes

it occurs to me that my difficulties sleeping set in at the time i stopped taking sertraline (c. 15 years ago). quitting that drug was hell and i wouldn't go back on it but wondering if lasting inability to sleep is something i toom from that process

the temperature has dropped and i've turned off the heating. i am cold now. oh no. help what do i do

smell of rain, temperature dropping, come on predicted thunderstorm

thinking about how if you liked tolkien but not harry potter 20 years ago you would get insufferable people rolling their eyes at you for being so old-fashioned but now every harry potter fan is still insufferable whereas many tolkien fans have become cool transsexuals

there are islands in the north atlantic called 'papey', which has traditionally been derived from old norse 'papar' (irish priests) plus 'ey' island, but there was a paper a while ago arguing that it just means 'tit island' because it looked like a tit

too much coffee, progesterone, and an audiobook about papal history makes for interesting dreams

loving my hair recently

we must understand the bimbo not as lacking mental acuity, but rather as embodying a gendered strategy of selective ambivalence toward hegemonic forms of knowledge. the bimbo may disregard them, or take them up again as it suits her. in the follwing sections i will

i think dilatation is doing me good but sorry i think it's mainly going to make me post more

the must be fully clothed at all times anyone could even potentially see me boy to 'oh are the blinds open, it's night and i'm naked? i'll just walk over and close them, very slowly' girl pipeline

if someone tells you you don't need so much cheese in the risotto, sorry that's bullshit. you need more cheese. more than that. keep going. keep going. no i'll tell you when it's okay to stop

(psychologist looking at checklist) ✅ attempts to repair linux laptop ❌ failing (sighs and shakes head, at length writes at bottom) 'somewhat credible transsexual but cannot approve without further real life experience, suggest withdrawal of vagina pending further developments'

it's nuts how in the past people would just write to celebrities and ask for an autograph rather than find an entertaining way of abusing them online til they blocked you

der frühling, der frühling, der frühling ist hier 🎶🥂

when i was a teenager we got sent with our priests to germany for a world catholic youth congress. once we were packed onto a coach to be taken to some tourist sights. the driver was loudly playing 'sex bomb' on the radio. the german priests were grooving to it and the americans looked horrified

gonna tell my grandkids this was genai

all the dumb little cartoon pfps in the list of people blocking me make it feel like i'm some sort of giant with the dorkiest party of adventurers out against me

forcibly sent back to the undying lands from middle-earth because every time i see an elf and a dwarf hanging i go 't4t!!!!'

Tocharian is inevitable so we may as well just learn how

euro train girl with a secret thing for american songs about cars

me: ah damn a negroni hits sooo harder after a week off the booze. lowkey worth being sick af for this week you: laura you could also just not drink for a week while you're healthy me: shaddup

You could rewrite The Age of Innocence as a modern trans story: Ellen Olenska transitions in Europe and returns to the US where her well-to-do family are uncomfortable about her. Her cousin who had a confusing childhood crush on her before either of them knew befriends her and takes up her case...

...and struggles to help her be accepted. They fall in love but nothing can ever come of it. The class privilege Ellen relied on to protect her proves of dubious worth as that class itself regards her as at best a disgrace if not dangerous. She returns to Europe (we hope, at least) to live in Paris.

post-winter derangement syndrome and getting over a cold demanded i put on something impractical today the second i saw the thermometer was over 20

when i was beginning transition, i would walk by this make-up advert with a woman in transports of ecstasy at her own beauty. it made me euphoric just to see it - could i one day be that? - it's faded and crumbled year by year, as my own life as a woman have grown more complete. dorienne grey

being called in to see my victorian aunt for a talking-to because in a most un-ladylike manner i reskeeted my own thirst-trap rather than nonchalantly adding witty apercus as comments to keep it on the tl

I live in İstanbul for a while and every movie has an intermission. Always. It’s so great. I don’t know why the rest of the world doesn’t do it.

wait you mean 'vibe code' isn't a set of largely unwritten social mores about intimate massage wands, breaches of which can lead to de facto ostracism or in severe cases banishment or being challenged to a duel

bluesky was a chaser project all along, just look how it spends all its time going down on a ton of trans women

caeruleum vastant, non caelum mutant, qui cum claudio codunt

bluesky geht deutschcore: alles jetzt verboten

a minor epiphany was just how close 'silly' and 'sexy' are- there can be a razor's edge between the two, and it's not even one or the other necessarily. to be sexy you just have to step into it, and risk being ridiculous. anyway in light of this I have purchased a tiny red nose for my clitoris

This isn't funny

stopping in the street looking at my phone with an annoyed expression before heading off in the opposite direction so people will think i'm having trouble reading google maps rather than just being indecisive about where i want to go

a football whizzes past you in a park and no one expects you to do shit 💅🙂‍↔️

posting my most controversial takes when i have no idea whether they're being seen or whether i can delete them, just to feel something

dreamt i was talking on @badgayspod.bsky.social about how jd vance has been driven by bitterness for centuries since he was left out of the division of the carolingian realm in 843 because everyone else knew he was a toxic egg

they should make progesterone capsules in various fun whistle shapes that make different sounds when you fart

created in vienna, invoked in court proceedings in italy, awaiting modifications in germany. my pussy's so geopolitically complex they call it the holey woman fempire

ok i admit it i'm not really trans, i'm just a cis guy who transitioned so i could get 60% of the costs back from my insurance when i get my pussy lasered

my superpower is a total ignorance of all youtubers and yes that is a superpower

missing the hell out of this outfit. summer get your ass in here this minute!

we should claim being into ancient languages as a trans stereotype

considering adopting the porn name 'anna cumnena'

heute in der früh sah ich einen brett vor einem restaurant mit dem text GERÖSTETE KNÖDEL mit Paprika und grünem Salat und habe mir zumindest 15 sekunden gedacht, 'oh, coole bandnamen, klingt wie ein tolles gig'

you are all kindly requested to not be weird on my tl. that's my prerogative, k