'ovestin' deutlich der name eines schutzheiligen irgendeiner freistadt im heiligen römischen reiche

reasonably sure an egg thought up that question

future bank security question “what was your mother’s deadname?”

u kno what? fuk u (stubbornly ruins ur brand with 'ez' in it by pronouncing it as ee-zed)

for lesbian visibility week, i will do my killjoy philologist bit on that line everyone quotes about 'i cannot weave, slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl' actually doesn't say 'girl' but just 'child, young person' without gender distinction (pais), it's just assumed to be girl

coming late to the glasses party

mankind is in a protracted, spiritual war with the camera. first it added 10lbs, then we struck back with photo editing. we will not be ready for its counterstrike

just cracked up while on hold because the music was the most 70s porno tune I have ever heard including in 70s pornos. good thing no one picked up because I'd not have been able to speak. i guess the secretary was too busy being railed by the plumber with a ridiculous moustache at the time i called

Ich begehe Lesbian Visibility Week, indem ich heute Abend Alkaios rezitiere.

cardinal in charge of IT at the vatican defrocking his harddisk

wondering if I should write a silly parody of myself then i realise that's what bluesky is

i have never ever seen a picture of friedrich merz where he doesn't look like he's begging to be put out of his misery

(motivational speaker voice) 'stop being a cataMIGHT and become a cataCAN. a cataWILL'

gender! gender everywhere, yet not a drop to drink!

when your post is doing the numbers and you don't have a kofi or a soundcloud so you wonder if you should just put a hot lingerie shot on the end of it

ai bros will tell you that it gives you 'phd-level expertise in your pocket'. my brother in christ that's called transitioning and getting to know a bunch of other transsexuals who did phds in random fields to avoid getting to the bottom of their gender issues

you, an agp fetishist: thinks about forcefemme institutions because you're just a sicko perv who gets off to it me, a true transsexual: thinks about forcefemme institutions because it would represent a stable and lucrative civil service job opportunity

need to restructure my day so i'm dilating while people are actually posting

doing a 3-year librarianship course so i can apply for a slutty librarian job only to be turned down because turns out i need a 2-year ma in slutship

big tech creating a 7-stage login that also scans my entire body and encodes it into a unique string of characters that by pure coincidence is exactly the same as the name of my first pet and mother's maiden name which i posted on twitter as my stripper name as part of a hilarious quotetweet cascade

the future will look back on the early 21st century as a defining era for doll theology in the way that the patristic era was for christianity

my moots

hi, don't worry i'm not someone who usually just talks to strangers on public transport but i just wanted you to know that the person responsible for that rank fart was not me, i let you know this because my fragile sense of self-worth is tied up with the need to believe everyone finds me attractive

definitely want a chocolate bar named like a porno parody of a 90s romcom

i genuinely wish i had come up with this

everywhere else it is weed day. in austria it is the day to watch out for restaurants listing eiernockerl (noodles with egg) as the dish of the day (it's hitler's birthday and that was allegedly his favourite dish, i remember places that got into trouble for it being on the news when i moved here)

my moots

okay one good thing about llms is that if you want to stealth you can plausibly tell people that chatgpt hallucinated your transition

(principal skinner voice) am i out of touch? no, that child was wearing a t-shirt which said 'rikasnu' in cyrillic

'big tiddy goth gf' is in fact a misunderstanding derived from the name of theoderic (gothic thiudareiks, norse thidrikr) the great, king of the ostrogoths, who was remembered as 'big tiddy' in legend. to have a 'big tiddy goth gf' was desirable as it was a marital connection to his court at ravenna

stock room overflowing so colleagues have dumped a lot of stuff in the upstairs loo, meaning i now get to do shits in the same room as a bunch of extremely expensive old books

largely i don't miss academia but what occasionally gives me a pang is wishing i could teach again. especially at the start of term when it's all fresh and there's all this energy around, and no marking yet

looksmaxing is just FFS for people with souls forsaken by god

warum 'age of belief' und nicht 'heiliger zeitgeist'

having sex when you're an egg be like

grindcore band called asparagus pee

no more puns just asking all my nieces and nephews about their love lives as cringily as possible before oversharing about my own as my mortified sister tries to get her useless husband to get the sherry bottle away from me but he's busy looking down my cleavage

the final stage in transition is killing my urge to make dad jokes

it occurs to me that my difficulties sleeping set in at the time i stopped taking sertraline (c. 15 years ago). quitting that drug was hell and i wouldn't go back on it but wondering if lasting inability to sleep is something i toom from that process

the temperature has dropped and i've turned off the heating. i am cold now. oh no. help what do i do

smell of rain, temperature dropping, come on predicted thunderstorm

thinking about how if you liked tolkien but not harry potter 20 years ago you would get insufferable people rolling their eyes at you for being so old-fashioned but now every harry potter fan is still insufferable whereas many tolkien fans have become cool transsexuals

there are islands in the north atlantic called 'papey', which has traditionally been derived from old norse 'papar' (irish priests) plus 'ey' island, but there was a paper a while ago arguing that it just means 'tit island' because it looked like a tit

too much coffee, progesterone, and an audiobook about papal history makes for interesting dreams

loving my hair recently

we must understand the bimbo not as lacking mental acuity, but rather as embodying a gendered strategy of selective ambivalence toward hegemonic forms of knowledge. the bimbo may disregard them, or take them up again as it suits her. in the follwing sections i will

i think dilatation is doing me good but sorry i think it's mainly going to make me post more

the must be fully clothed at all times anyone could even potentially see me boy to 'oh are the blinds open, it's night and i'm naked? i'll just walk over and close them, very slowly' girl pipeline

if someone tells you you don't need so much cheese in the risotto, sorry that's bullshit. you need more cheese. more than that. keep going. keep going. no i'll tell you when it's okay to stop

(psychologist looking at checklist) ✅ attempts to repair linux laptop ❌ failing (sighs and shakes head, at length writes at bottom) 'somewhat credible transsexual but cannot approve without further real life experience, suggest withdrawal of vagina pending further developments'