this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread

Point of curiosity. Does anyone here NOT have a favorite prehistoric animal? Mine is Suchomimus.

Made a friend on the way to work today.

IT'S HAPPENING.

Books aren't just what the writer puts in. They're what the reader puts in, too. And some readers are assholes.

My wife had never seen Army of Darkness. She now regrets having seen Army of Darkness. My work here is done.

tlaxcallans, 1519:

This shot of Astoria, Oregon is probably the best photo I'll ever take. Mostly because nearly all the photos I take are unflattering pictures of my dogs that I think are funny.

I was going through some old pictures and found this one. My wife had a small legion of faithful crows at our previous address, and she would regularly summon them by throwing a bag of peanuts into the yard. I'd be curious to know if that flock still tells the legend of the peanut lady.

Ancient ritual, schmancient ritual. It's supposed to be stored in a cool, dry place. Says so right on the package next to the expiration date, Margaret. Now we're going to have to go buy more ritual, and they'll only have fresh ritual this time of year. I swear.

Explaining to my wife that I cannot simply “read the books I’ve already bought and haven’t read” like some kind of peasant.

The software that is essential to my job got overhauled recently. Someone apparently forgot to finish how the address prompts work, so the system will always auto-complete to the first place in its alphabetical list, and now it tries to send all the mail in that category to Afghanistan.

Sorry I haven't been posting much. Got sucked into a howling maelstrom of haunting unreality punctuated by the wails of the damned and also there was traffic.

Morning walk

Gosh, look at the time. It's Promoting My Dinosaur Techno-Horror Novel O'clock.

CODE SABER BLACK. WE HAVE A CONTAINMENT BREACH. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS FOUND IN SEPTEMBER. ALL PERSONNEL REPORT TO STATIONS IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. REPEAT. CODE SABER BLACK.

Ways to help indie authors: 1) Request their books at shops 2) Beseech the Lord of Crimson Ink 3) Leave a review 4) Fulfill the Pact of the Final Words 5) Post about their books 6) Gather twelve white rats at the midnight hour and perform the Sacrament of the Five Eternal Stars

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

I received a free flu shot courtesy of my employer. Since I live with a teacher, it's about that time of year when her workplace turns into a festering cesspit of disease and filth. Worthwhile to have the extra protection.

Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein? No, Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein's Director

Today is the first day of Fall, which means that it's time to start layering new Halloween decorations on the old Halloween decorations until they coalesce into an Autumn Golem capable of destroying my enemies.

The higher ups at my workplace have just sent out an email that September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Fantastic. Laudable, even. But also, it's currently September 22. That's not an announcement you can be fashionably late to.

Saw The Long Walk with my wife and mom over the weekend. Boy, that's probably the first movie I've seen since Godzilla Minus One that really decided to fully embrace its premise to the fullest. Walked out of the theater befuddled to find myself back in reality. Highly recommend.

This is just a quick screenshot off some promotional material, but the monster I designed for Dungeon Denizens II now has official artwork. Meet the Tenterhook.

You don't want a new civil war. "Oh, another coward who wants us to work through the system! You just want the status quo!" If you prefer civil war to the status quo that tells me you have no concept whatsoever of what a war would look like or *what the new post-war status quo would be*

I have just read not one but two books that mentioned you can track the Lewis & Clark expedition using mercury. They took a lot of mercury-based "medicine". Now there's a trail of old mercury-tainted latrines. One book is about chemistry. The other is about quack medicine. Odd expertise convergence.

There was a time when I could put my shoes on unobstructed. Those were dark times.

My wife basically has Pirates of the Caribbean memorized after watching it approximately 11 bazillion times as a teenager. Took her to see it with the Oregon Symphony performing the soundtrack live. Many yarrs were yarred.

We really need to put up a rope around the "Interesting Times" lever or something.

Evolution (abridged)

We took our dog to the vet to get her teeth cleaned, and they also deflated her.

Over the weekend, my wife and I traveled to a great gathering (Rose City Comic Con) of learned minds (nerds) to observe them commune with their oracles and demi-gods (Bruce Campbell).

I'm sorry, but genetic engineering is getting out of hand.

Good morning

In the 4th grade, I handwrote a 10 page Halloween story for homework about each and every one of my classmates being systematically hunted by dinosaurs on behalf of the principal, who was secretly a mummy. I am absolutely just the adult version of my childhood self.

As boomers start to age out of cultural power in the United States, I look forward to the institution of the three-month Halloween Season taking over from the three month Christmas.

Live Laugh Lilacs. It smelled like lilacs. He'd expected the test chamber to stink. He barely felt himself biting the first finger off. After the others went mad, he thought he was in real trouble when he drew the short straw. But he must be immune. Lilacs. How nice. He munched another finger.

I have a weird little thing I'm proud of in my new techno-horror dinosaur novel, Savage Helix. It's Mayor Carl the Carcharodontosaurus, the mascot of a rival paleo-engineering company. He had his own cartoon for a while, and one of the main characters grew up with a Mayor Carl stuffed animal.

Me, staring at the sales page for my newly released techno-horror dinosaur book, trying to will more reviews into existence.

Our cat is petitioning to have a small region protected for conservation which she dubs Murder Cave State Park. Don't ask why it's called that. It's probably fine.

I was briefly unsupervised in the Corvallis used book store.

That's a real nice social media feed ya' got there. Be a real shame if somebody advertised a new techno-horror novel about lawyers vs dinosaurs on it. A real shame.

Steve is losing his marbles

my children very politely asked if they could just please read their own books tonight rather than listen to me read. which is fine btw. it's only been every night for 9 years. with voices. some people might mind but not me. GOOD voices too, with real drama. but it's fine of course,

In an incredible tour de force, SAVAGE HELIX remains #1 on the List of Books I've Written Recently for the second straight week. Thank you to everyone who got us here. Absolutely amazing.

Maybe a fact: The term "Achilles heel" comes from Greek mythology, when Achilles would rise from his coffin each night to drink the blood of the living, the heel being the easiest part to grab when springing out of a grave.

eating a book today to teach the other books a lesson

I won an advanced copy of @tkingfisher.com's Hemlock & Silver via a Rose City Comic Con promotion. I almost made it inside from the mailbox before my wife "borrowed" it (read: perniciously thieved) for her own nefarious purposes (read: rearranging her reading list so this can be next).

Watch Out!

One of the funniest things about how my wife and I have influenced each other is that she writes now. And she's good at it! But she has color-coded spreadsheets for a lot of activities, and yet she completely pantsed her 150K word romantasy novel.