The funniest thing for the Tesla board to do would be to keep saying his huge pay package was always just two years out.

People love to say AI is democratizing art as if art wasn't something that children and cave men did for thousands of years. Who is getting a vote on art that didn't before? "I press a button and a robot poops out a movie" isn't what democracy means.

I don't want your monopoly money.

If you're a rich person trying to performaitively leave New York STAY IN LINE

It's almost mean to wish the job of Mayor of New York on somebody you actually respect. Seems like a terrible gig.

Here are 6 more things you might not have known were named after people.

Sure you could complain about still getting acne in your 40s but I think it makes me look youthful.

One of the funniest things in baseball is a bench-clearing non-fight. Just a bunch of guys milling around chatting kinda angrily. Even the pitchers come jogging in from center field like, "hey guys don't stand around doing nothing without us."

Make sure to check your kids' candy I just found a pumpkin shaped Reese's where the thinner wall is actually a better ratio of chocolate to peanut butter than the original cups and like, kids don't deserve that. That's for us.

This week on the Fun Fact Friday newsletter I wrote about ampelmännchen, the incredible German crosswalk signal guy. You can read and subscribe for free here: alexfalcone.ninja/newsletter

Well this is very nice. Thank you @alexfalcone.bsky.social

I've got lots of practice sleeping but like once a year I'll lay down and have no idea where my arms are supposed to go.

Hold up so now Take and Bake Pizza is trying to claim there's an implied middle step where I pay? That's not what the sign says!

A.I. people love to say "right now it's the worst it'll ever be" as if we haven't watched all websites get steadily worse over the last 10 years. You think it's going to be better once they bloat it with a million data trackers and pump it full of ads?

A fun bit at the theater would be when they announce that some understudy is doing the role of somebody or other for the night you yell "aw damn it" and storm out.

More genres of music should operate mariachi style. I'd enjoy table side DJ service. A roving barbershop quartet. A punk band where the bass player uses that chubby guitar.

This week on the Fun Fact Friday I go DEEP on Dr. G and his spot plus a fun self-indulgent puzzle. Click through to read and decide if you want more of this kind of crap in your life. mailchi.mp/5d3694aaa2d2...

Are progress bars a scam? Find out on another episode of my hit series.

Minneapolis has been my most requested city for a while and I finally have shows on sale there! Downside is it seems cold in January. alexfalcone.ninja

Using an AI chat bot as customer service is a way of telling your customers "fuck you google it"

Pro tip when your wife has a doctor's appointment don't text her "happy pappin'" she won't like it.

Unlearning: The Internet Doesn’t Have To Be This Bad @mozilla.org

An opinion I will never give up is it's better to die in a valley than a hill.

I want my last words to be "no matter what I look like in 10 minutes don't let them take me away I'm not dead I'm just pretending."

I'm so excited you can tell.

5 things you may not know were named after people.

I've got shows (shows!) On different area codes (area codes) alexfalcone.ninja

She didn't ask but I would have given Dolly a kidney if she needed. Or just wanted. I'd still give her one if she just wants like an extra or something.

Are Bass Pro Shops a scam?

A free idea for a creepy Halloween costume.

One of the most satisfying feelings is assembling a piece of furniture. Followed closely by the feeling of assembling it a second time after you realize you put one of the panels in upside down and have to take it all apart and start over.

A newly released study shows yet another thing we can do to mice that they don't like.

*holding up a shirt* this is massive, this would cover my body 10 times over, I can't believe how huge this is. *puts the shirt on* it's a little snug

Hotel desk has this under it, a sharp piece of wood, right in the middle, at exactly shin height. I hope whoever designed it drowns in their own piss.

Love hanging out at airports, just me and a bunch of strangers sitting around holding bags of our underwear.

It's fun that each finger has a little symbolic job: cool/not cool, that thing there, your driving is poor, I'm not available for dates, and (while drinking tea) I'm so fancy.

Two things everybody’s missing about the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

Dumbest take about Riyadh Comedy is "everybody has a price." If the money is too good, that's scary as hell! If you find $20 on the street that rules. If you find $20k in a paper bag, you didn't see shit. If somebody offers 20% above your rate, awesome. If they offer 20x your rate YOU ARE IN DANGER.

The lineup to the Riyadh Comedy Festival is funny because it's like I'm super disappointed in... one or two of you. But the rest make perfect sense.

How crime bags work.

Call me old fashioned but when I die I want to be buried in a pyramid surrounded by my material wealth

Are credit scores a scam?

That new alien video is terrifying.

Disney watching subscriber numbers crater: uh, takesies backsies?

if the canary is so good why don't they make the whole mine out of canaries?

It always confused me when people in movies give each other illegal stuff in briefcases and fancy leather carry-ons. You just gave that nice bag to a criminal! Turns out, in real life, they just use paper take-out bags which makes way more sense though it could make your cash smell like falafel.

I am begging website designers to let me stay logged in

The congress alien video is so funny either a) we shot a mylar balloon with a $200k hellfire missile OR b) our military thought they'd made contact with beings from another planet and the only way they could think to say hello was by shooting them either way we do not seem like the good guys

Was genuinely about to start the new season of Only Murders in the Building tonight but oh well.

5 more things that aren’t technically illegal