[tracker kneels and examines spoor] - A herd of twits has passed this way but an hour ago. - How can you tell? - Look. Fresh nincompoop.

chatgpt wrapped would ruin lives

Have you heard that my weird, dark special little book that bridges the gap between MG and YA is coming in 2026 yet? 👀 #kidlit #kidlitUK #MG #YAdebut #bookdeal

Pet peeve: Your appointment is at 11am. Please arrive 20 minutes before your appointment.

This Spotify average age thing is such utter bollocks, but it's exactly the kind of utter bollocks that people like, so whoever came up with it is good at their job, even if there job is coming up with utter bollocks.

ANYWAY Buy from small businesses Buy from independent creators Buy passion projects Buy commissions Buy art In a society that's decided that money is final word, be aware of where yours goes and to support what Yes it sucks, I don't like it either, but pretending it's not a thing does not help!

Currently 99p wherever you get your ebooks! www.amazon.co.uk/Stepfather-C...

This year we're doing Whamutopia. Every time you hear Last Christmas you have to have a mulled wine at your earliest convenience and toast George Michael, because he was a lad

My children are playing bookshops together. They are selling books, and writing books to sell. I might cry

Tax on people who correct you when you fumble your words

The speed at which bagels defrost from the freezer defies the laws of physics

I'm offering a set of two Notwitches books, signed by me and Dotty Sutton, in the #Creatives4Sudan auction. The money raised is being sent to community kitchens in Darfur through the Sudan Solidarity Collective. To bid on these or any of the other books, artworks or services on offer, click below!

I LIVE for this level of pettiness! Hahaha fantastic

My mum died 3 years ago. When does that, 'Oh, I'll just give Mum a quick call' instinct pass please? :(

Trackybottomy www.worldofmoose.com/products/tra...

Hello Bluepals, like the tub of Quality Street we bought at the weekend that was supposed to be saved until December 23rd, we are open.

I’m very surprised AI can detect sarcasm. That already makes it more advanced than most of BlueSky.

Once again @booktrust.org.uk, a UK charity which gifts books to disadvantaged children, is running its Christmas donation drive. I’ve been a BookTrust supporter for many years; please consider making a donation to this excellent cause 📚💖 www.booktrust.org.uk

Look!!! @loutreleaven.bsky.social look what Robbie picked from the school library! The boy has good taste x x

Superb article about reading aloud. Yes! Yes! And yes!! #kidlituk www.booktrust.org.uk/resources/fi...

No one talks about the BT Tower anymore.

My Google pixel changed its font and I'm not okay

Blue sky, do your thing please: What's the name of the fairly recent novel about two people bonding and falling in love over music, set in the 90s

Summer's out for school

I need to save this because I quote it all the time and couldn't find the tweet again, it's so the thing of our times

PUblic service reminder for authors: the PLR deadline is 30th June. Just got a nudge email from my agent so I am nudging you all. Do NOT leave it to the last minute cos then there's no chance to talk to anyone about any questions cos they're all flat out! #KidLItUK #AuthorSky

Want advice on how to perfect your submission package? Take a look at our June #Agent121 sessions here: iaminprint.co.uk/agent121 9th - @lilchasewriter.bsky.social 10th - @katiefulf.bsky.social 11th - Emily MacDonald 19th - @dianabeaumont.bsky.social 24th - Lydia Silver 27th - Alice Williams

It's FA cup final day today and you know what that means: it means Gwynnie has to decide whether to watch the match or go to the prom with the boy she fancies

Sure, when the library does it it’s fine, but when somebody wants to borrow one of MY books and I ask for ID I’m being “ridiculous”

Excited to see this with @bikefit.bsky.social tonight

My new credit card has an expiry date of 2030 and I'm not okay

Look what I saw @garypanton.co.uk In the window at Waterstones Putney. Go you

If you feel like you need this handy guide as a reminder, I can draw one for you. www.worldofmoose.com/products/isl...

Please, call me Jelly Roll, Gelatin Roll is my father.

I think Sheryl Crow's version of The First Cut Is The Deepest is better than the Rod Stewart version. Ironically, I think that's because I heard her version first

My painting TIDAL WETLANDS

Chat to @lilchasewriter.bsky.social - Author and Senior Editor at Hachette Children's about your #childrensbook or #picturebook in an #Agent121 on 3rd April. Lil loves original voices, strong characters, unusual quests, humour and anything quirky. Book: www.iaminprint.co.uk #querying

I'm the guy who designed the 'Please Wait' buttons at pedestrian crossings, and let me tell you – angrily pressing the button over and over again *does* make the lights change faster. I designed it that way on purpose to reward impatient geniuses.

i would like to thank the funny people for being funny thank you very much to the funnies, the funny poster people, the funny.

All the folks who exited NBC today. Seen together, hoo boy. Message received.

A PANINI AND A BAGUETTE ARE NOT THE SAME THING Not that I have strong feelings about it

Hands up if one of the main reasons you became a writer is because you like buying pretty stationery

while The Horrors persist, let us celebrate less horrors overall…. because all three mega fires in Los Angeles are finally 100% contained!!

IN YOUR FACE, CHARLES SO-CALLED DICKENS.

We were up until 2am after a burst pipe flooded town. Opening late today as we need to put everything back after clearing floors. Thankfully no damage. Others weren't lucky. If anyone is looking for a book you can order online at wonderlandbookshop.co.uk. Can't see what you want? Ask! #kidlituk

IF you're in the market for a book, this is a fabulous shop and floods mean opening isn't an option!

I can usually tell I'm right by the sound of my husband furiously googling something followed by complete silence

Does anyone else feel super relieved now that bin days are back to normal?

Do you have/know children between 4 and 15? Do they enjoy books and writing stories? Then you could steer them in them direction of the annual DAUNT BOOKS CHILDREN'S SHORT STORY COMPETITION. Please share this! Entries close 31st January. Good luck!