It’s far from the biggest issue right now but shops up and down the country getting Pokemon card stock in and none of it being sent to the highlands is testing me this week

Kier, babe

Tuesday loaf

Had to make a pit-stop in Asda yesterday… toilets were barely signposted and when I spotted the sign it pointed upstairs to the cafe. Ok, makes sense. Trotted up, used the loo, came out as a cleaner appears around the corner and LITERALLY screams as she sets eyes on me…. “THE CAFE IS CLOSED!!!”

This also goes for writers, or indeed anyone who is strapped to a desk for eight hours a day

What if

If you answer your phone in the gym you should be fired out of a cannon into the sun. Sure maybe it’s an emergency but the door to the corridor is RIGHT THERE

I do not want to be awake!!! I do not want to have to get up!!! I do not want to go to the gym!!! I do not want to have to drive into town!!! I do not want to have to take care of myself!!! I do not want to do my job!!! Let me live me life without commitments!!!!!!

Close enough welcome back Crowley and Aziraphale

Look upon my works, etc

Extremely surprised, but ok????

Happy 100th Birthday to the best guy. Forever grateful to have met you and thanked you for helping Small LD handle the horrors of Sunday Nights.

God this country is so clapped

I am so fucking glad I moved Jesus Christ almighty

Keep seeing Space Books recommended for fans of Project Hail Mary, which I understand… but doesn’t actually make sense because what PHM fans actually want is a story about an asexual nerd who gets a smart autistic room-mate and they become Best Friends Forever

Pretty sure I’m not the only comic creator in IV, so this map is probably due a pinch of salt…. Interesting, though.

💚💚💚💚💚

Huge fan of this trend, who’s ready for Sapphic Scifi Summer

👇👇👇👇👇👇

Remember you DO NOT need photo ID to vote in Scotland tomorrow!!! Photo ID is for UK General Elections only, IF YOU ARE IN SCOTLAND 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I spent the weekend sitting with the puffins on Staffa… highly recommended if you ever get the chance to go 💛❤️🖤

It’s the sort of evening where both cats are being fed Feliway “Calm TF Down” treats

Delighted to see KICKFLIP, by Logan Hanning and me, shortlisted for Nottingham’s Big City Reads!

Delighted to see KICKFLIP, by Logan Hanning and me, shortlisted for Nottingham’s Big City Reads!

Sigh

39 🧁 I got whisked away on Friday for a surprise birthday weekend on Mull to see - amongst other things - the Staffa puffins. 10/10 experience, almost stole a puffin, cried and died several times.

Badenoch is so weird man, what do you mean she willingly spent time with Glinner? His own family don’t even do that

This still stands the second time round. @ldlapinski.bsky.social

OH BOY OH BOY

If nothing else this week, I just learned how Americans pronounce Minotaur and now I’m traumatised. This is Babel all over again

A tiny weenie convention up here in the Highlands is asking for £150 a table. Hardly any vendor is going to make that back.

It is my birthday in three more sleeps so can everyone please: Buy my books Review my books Buy me Pokemon cards

When you have a white cat….

Went to go and get a cake and all they had left was empire biscuits, I’m going to throw myself into the river

Feeling very out of sorts today, like I’ve forgotten to do something. I’m sure all will be revealed.

How do I block all images and mentions of that mii game before I’m forced to set something on fire

The long evenings means that the cats have become crepuscular again, which I hate. No, 8pm is not the hour to demand outside time. We are chilling. (They’re outside, they don’t listen to me)

From Tom Leonard’s INTIMATE VOICES 1965–1983 (Galloping Dog Press, 1984) #poem #poetry

SWIFT SPOTTED

It’s my birthday in a week’s time and I only remembered because Greggs sent me an email about a free donut

Up at a ridiculous hour to go and do something ridiculous

Truly despise this new trend on Vinted of accepting offers only for the sender to disappear off the face of the earth FIVE offers I’ve accepted on this item now, and not one of them has completed. It should be like eBay where it charges you automatically if your offer is accepted

Excited to find my name on the London Marathon wall yesterday! Just three days to go. Can I hit £2600 for BookTrust? www.justgiving.com/page/helen-t...

Nothing’s impossible! Not if you can imagine it!

Draw Ryland Grace with top surgery scars you cowards

GOODBYE

Forgot to add banana to my flapjack mix, so now I have granola 🙃

Springtime in England 💖

BRING BACK TAILORING IF I WANTED TO WEAR A SACK I WOULD RECYCLE A DUVET COVER

GOD THIS.