whenever something mildly inconvenient happens the bairn has taken to whispering ‘I’m in my sad era’ and adopting the posture of a sloth

Painfully/stupidly whacked my hand against a railing last week and I'd been getting a bit worried I wasn't even going to get a good bruise out of it, but relieved to say it's now turned a lovely shade of yellow.

NEW! #FirstLastAnything Ep 32: We are back each Sunday, till Christmas, and my guest today - versatile and fascinating music writer and musician Joanna Wyld (@joannawyld.bsky.social) - talks about bellringing, Queen, liner notes, Molly Drake and much more. firstlastanything.co.uk/2025/11/09/f...

Any of my friends on here been to the Munich Christmas markets? We're going at the start of December and currently working on an itinerary. Would love to hear any recommendations anyone has. 🎅

This Smash Hits poll top 10 for 1988’s Most Very Horrible Thing is amazing.

This is one of the best things I've ever seen on a stage.

I have a brand new and very exciting episode of #DrawWithRob Icons for you tomorrow, particularly if you're a fan of Studio #Ghibli. My #Totoro drawalong drops tomorrow at 10am...

Sorry to toot my own horn (I’m single so a girl’s gotta take matters into her own hands) but have you seen this?! ABOVE GARRISON KEILLOR and he has 328K subscribers! (He also has no idea who I am. I’m so confused this week that *I* barely have any idea who I am. But wow.) arianesherine.substack.com

Old man in our local shop just told me that Tesco have removed the word "Christmas" from their mince pies so it doesn't "offend the Muslims" and I reckon that means Christmas time is now officially upon us.

The whole Traitors episode format sort of fascinates me because there's such a sharp contrast between the incredibly tense and engaging murdery bits, and the big boring chunk in the middle where it feels like you're basically watching some people on a PGL holiday.

Every single piece of desktop software trying to force AI on me really is getting pretty tiresome now.

I didn't even *want* to lean on the barrier until I saw this cool guy doing it

Love The Traitors but BBC putting it in their news headlines feels a bit sketchy.

Today I saw a pigeon attempt to eat a floppy dead leaf and then look visibly repulsed afterwards. Loved that.

Welcome to Michelin. Would you like some tyres, or a recommendation for an overly fancy restaurant?

On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast @drucripps.bsky.social joins me to talk about sinking ships and aquatic dinosaurs. Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/34b661 Available all places podcasts live - Apple podcast, Spotify, Amazon music, and your local pod goblin.

Wot.

It's that time of the year again when I get to head on over to X, search for people saying "Bombfire Night" and "Guy Forks Night", and quietly feel very smug to myself.

My wonderful illustrator Dotty Sutton spent today painting this amazing window art at the @edinburghbookshop.bsky.social and it just makes me so happy that a silly story idea I came up with has such talented people working on it and is now all over a shop window. Please go check it out if you can.

I can't even comprehend how much of a hero this man is. He blocked a knife attack with his HEAD. His actual head. As someone who does lots of long-distance rail travel, I've seen how much crap train staff often have to take from the public. Please be nice to them. They're brilliant and we need them.

Signed books in the shop too!

My wonderful illustrator Dotty Sutton spent today painting this amazing window art at the @edinburghbookshop.bsky.social and it just makes me so happy that a silly story idea I came up with has such talented people working on it and is now all over a shop window. Please go check it out if you can.

Wonder if this still keeps him awake at night

This would require 10% of the UK police force to ride around on trains all day, even if their shift covered the 18+hrs a day the rail network operates. Jeremy gets a few shiny coins he no longer needs during the only life he'll ever have making viewers already angry at the wrong people even angrier.

Very pleased with my other half's choice of avatars for our new Disney+ profiles.

LinkedIn starts using your data from Monday 3rd November, if you use the site then make sure to switch this off.

Yesterday in Blackpool I saw this sequence of images flash up on an advertising screen on the pier, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so depressed

In the history of humanity, communication has never been easier, and yet I strongly reckon people have never been worse at it.

Finally, a product that allows me to avoid the feminising effects of *checks notes* bed sheets.

Me: read it again but this time do the voices Priest: Whole Congregation: VOICES! 👏VOICES! 👏VOICES!👏

Anyone checked out the Wikipedia entry for Supergran lately?

When I was a kid my friend went home in a strop because we were singing the Gino Ginelli song and I sung the bit that goes "ice cream of piazza Italia" and he said I was ruining it by making bits up. Just watched it on YouTube and I was right. (Needless to say, I had the last laugh.)

Reporter on BBC Breakfast just mentioned that the Sandringham Estate is around the same size as the city of Nottingham, which just seems absolutely insane to me.

The five main TV channels basically ignoring Halloween is so weird. Not a single scary movie or spooky programme in any of their schedules this evening. Bring back Ghostwatch, you cowards.

Monday Me is going to be absolutely furious when he finds out how much work Friday Me has shoved onto his plate.

3. Utter Horror!

A look back at some of the various times I've forgotten to buy a Halloween pumpkin.

you were were-warned #halloween

Sticking with the maritime theme! This time a Minoan octopus vase inspired design. I'm hoping to display this one coming out of water, so I tweaked the angle. I have photographed this one, but I might wait and do it again tomorrow, because this is a very *wet* pumpkin (unintentional storytelling).

Last call for any of my followers who fancy a free signed book. Give the below post a like by the end of today and I'll randomly choose someone to send it to tomorrow.

In the early years of #BBUK I emailed Endemol to suggest that in a future Big Brother series the house should get very slightly smaller every day, with none of the housemates being told about it. Never got a reply.

We've been watching #BBUK and I don't understand how the voice of Big Brother always seems to be the same person now. Back in the day BB was multiple different people. Now it seems to be the same guy, day or night. Is the poor bloke working 24/7 shifts?

On this week’s not really a Halloween episode of @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense Jorjeana Marie joins me to talk about falling leaves and rubber chickens. Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3466f6 Available all places podcasts are.

Was supposed to be doing a book event today but it's been cancelled at short notice so, after much consideration, I've decided to spend all day doing absolutely nothing. Honestly so excited for the next few hours.

I know there are lots of jokes to be made about this etc etc but bloody hell the way humans often treat animals is seriously depressing.

For Halloween I'd love to gift one of my followers on here a free copy of my new book, The Notwitches: Prison Break, signed by me and Dotty Sutton. If you fancy it, just like this post (and follow me if you don't already). Shares very much appreciated, obvs. UK-based people only, I'm afraid.

Went to Greggs twice today and not even sorry.

Talk about an in-flight meal. For the first time, researchers have captured rats hunting bats by grabbing them from the sky. Learn more: https://scim.ag/3Jqldmn

Northern cuisine makes its apotheosis into its ultimate form