Did anyone ever actually enjoy going to nightclubs? I just wonder how many people were like me and only went because their friends were going, but secretly couldn't stand the places.

Bought these art prints several years ago and it's going to absolutely blow my other half's mind when she sees that I've finally gotten round to framing them and putting them on our very orange kitchen wall. 🌞🍊🧡

Apols for invading your timelines with shameless self-promotion but if your kids received gift cards for Christmas, might I suggest pointing them in the direction of my Notwitches books? They've had some very nice things said about them lately, and book 1 was in The I Paper's 14 Best Books of 2025.🧙‍♀️

US friends, you can nab 25% off my unhinged romcom FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL DIRECTOR when you preorder through B&N using code PREORDER25! 🪦 🥀 💍 It's out 21 April (my first US release with a Hazel book!) :) www.barnesandnoble.com/w/four-weddi...

I met Shola Ama at my student union and asked her to sign a £5 note because it was the only signable thing I had on me. Kept that fiver for years, until at some point I accidentally spent it. I like to think it's still in circulation somewhere.

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up. I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

A school just asked me to judge its ghost-story competition and I seriously can't wait to do that.

Did you get book tokens for Christmas? You're spoilt for choice with what to spend them on, but may I suggest my book on 80s pop history #IntoTheGroove, which is appropriate at any time of year! uk.bookshop.org/p/books/into...

Billionaires want to kill art with AI because they can’t do art. They can’t throw money at obtaining a skill they’ll never have, so instead they’re throwing money at destroying it, and persuading you that the process of human creation never had any value anyway.

Apols for invading your timelines with shameless self-promotion but if your kids received gift cards for Christmas, might I suggest pointing them in the direction of my Notwitches books? They've had some very nice things said about them lately, and book 1 was in The I Paper's 14 Best Books of 2025.🧙‍♀️

2026 is mere days away! Can you believe it? Calling creative 5-13 y/o kids! On 1/1, Lit Kids opens to submissions for Issue 9: Mystery! 🔍 Please send your writing, art, and photos by the end of January for consideration. Keep shining! ✨ www.litkidsmagazine.com #parents #teachers #emag #kidlit

BLOG UPDATE! I've gone and made a full rundown of the fifty TV programmes that have been broadcast most frequently throughout 2025. With the bonus added prize of revealing which FOUR television programmes appeared on all four BBC channels in 2025. brokentv.uk/2025/12/28/t...

For a long time now I've had my heart set on saving up for a holiday in Costa Rica, but I've just been reading hotel reviews and the number of people complaining about massive spiders getting into their rooms has well and truly put me off.

I haven't won a Christmas cracker-pull since 2017.

Aren't we *all* on "non-molestation orders"? i.e it's kind of the law anyway

Fairly sure I grew up thinking Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth, the eldest girl in Uncle Buck and Heather McCallister in Home Alone were all the same person.

With talk about podcasts this morning (to film or not to film), seems the moment to plug my 'textcast' again: #FirstLastAnything, on all types of music, with some very special guests indeed. You read the chat, you listen to the playlists. Archive of 36 episodes here. firstlastanything.co.uk/about

Got a big box of Quality Street here but I really only want the orange and strawberry cremes so if anyone fancies the rest give me a shout.

Enjoying that BBC One decided to just come up with no plan whatsoever for what to do with its first Saturday night without Strictly or The Wheel.

Barely ever look at X these days but just noticed they're now defaulting the 'Following' tab to 'Popular' instead of 'Most recent'. Hate this determination so many plaforms have to make sure we never get to see anything chronologically.

Even more funny, readable kids books by non-despicable humans. #KidsBooksFriday #KidLitUK #UKKidLit

We're sitting at home having the important discussion of who would have been cast in an '80s remake of Some Like It Hot, and we've decided upon Steve Martin, Robin Williams and Madonna, which I'm pretty pleased with.

OK I want to book a holiday. Somewhere with hot summers and amazing food. Probably within Europe as I doubt I can afford to go further. Touristy enough that there's stuff to do but not so touristy that there are tourists everywhere. Not a big city, and nowhere I'd have to drive. Any recommendations?

Imagine if Christmas wasn't already a thing and someone tried to introduce a week-or-so where as many of us as possible get to just sit around and do nothing but watch films and over-eat. It would *never* happen. None of our employers would allow it.

Often think these next few days are the absolute best days of the Christmas period. You get the laziness and the gluttony without any of the accompanying pressures of actual Christmas. This is the season at its arse-sitting, TV-watching, leftovers-munching purest.

Weirdly knackering doing absolutely nothing all day, innit?

12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”

Found a hair growing out of the top of my ear this morning. The top. Is this what 2026 holds? Shaving the tops of my ears like some sort of woodland goblin? No. Unacceptable.

Only 364 sleeps 'till Christmas. 🎅

Feeling very pleased with my book haul from yesterday. 😍

Me at 9am on Christmas vs me at 6pm on Christmas.

Always important to take the pulse of the nation on this issue. After Eight wrappers: leave them in the box or take them out?

Me and my Dad got shares in St Johnstone FC for Christmas, so we can now sing "sack the board" at ourselves when results are going badly.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Have a wonderful day.

Indecent Proposal starting now on BBC2. Such a bizarre choice of film for Christmas Eve.

Wholesome Christmas story: when I was little my grandad used to phone our house every Christmas Eve and pretend to be Santa checking if me and my sister had been good that year. It used to absolutely blow my mind. 100% believed it was Santa on the phone. Was so overwhelmed I barely ever said a word.

Far be it from me to tell Bernie Taupin how to write lyrics, but I just don't see how he ever thought the number of syllables in "eat, drink and be merry" were going to fit into that line.

What a fantastic time we had on Monday, visiting @edinburghbookshop.bsky.social! 😃 The Edinburgh Bookshop have the most amazing selection in store - pop down over the festive period if you can! 📚 Ruth certainly enjoyed her visit - she made a new friend too! 💚

Not that I'm bragging or anything but we're about to have hot chocolate with skooshy cream on top and watch Klaus.

Christmas Ident Calendar Day 24. Wallace and Gromit crossed to BBC1 in 2008 for 'A Matter Of Loaf and Death' and were given the Christmas ident that year. It turned out to be the biggest programme of Christmas and the year with 16.15m!

Morning all! If any of you are in the Edinburgh area and in need of a last-minute gift for the young 'uns in your life, I highly recommend a trip to Toppings bookstore where they have two big stacks of newly SIGNED copies of my books. Run run run!

2025's final video is now available for all. God Help Ye, Merry Gentlemen, it's Little and Large at Christmas. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gujz...

For years I've been using a Jamie Oliver recipe to make a steak pie for my family on New Year's Day. Then one year it vanished from his website. What to do? So I searched for it, and there it was, still on his site but now re-named as "Gary Barlow's Steak & Stout Pie". BUT IT'S NOT BARLOW'S AT ALL.

Jamiroquai when Jamiro vewwy sad

The mermaids are having a clear out

Other half is working today and I'm not, so I'm attempting to make these bad boys as a surprise for when she gets home. And yes that is my beautiful Santa slippers at the bottom of the shot thank you thank you. 😊🎅

Just popped in to Tesco.

In the last 24 hours I've received two really lovely emails from schools I visited this year, and honestly that's just made me so happy. Feels weird now to think that when I first started doing author appearances at the beginning of this year I was absolutely terrified.

Looking at old copies of The Stage and found this casting call for the following year's "Labyrinth". Whilst we know it now as a Jim Henson / Terry Jones / David Bowie's crotch family classic, it doesnt 'alf sound dodgy to modern eyes, doesnt it?

They should invent tiny speakers that can fit inside a person’s ear so that person can watch videos without other people having to hear everything.