I’ll DEFINITELY be going

No, you didn't. That's not writing.

I think about her a lot because of this

CHESTER JAWS #FacebookNews

This is a big step for me but I've talked myself into putting all my DVDs into a big disc wallet and getting rid of the cases so that I'll still have the discs but not the storage issues. Feels dirty though.

Just had a completely unprovoked flashback to being at school dinners and eating sausage roll, chips and curry sauce and honestly it made me so happy.

I keep seeing "all authors use AI, the real issue is they're being forced to be sneaky about it" headlines. Full stop No. This is a lie peddled for normalization. It's schoolyard-level pressure tactics "C'mon, all the cool kids are already doing it. We won't tell. It's fine. We're on your side."

DON'T TRY TO STOP ME. I'm finally doing it. I'm chucking this out.

That Travelodge stuff in the news is really horrifying. Few years ago I was staying at a different hotel chain and a stranger walked into my room in the middle of the night. When I reported it the next day all they said was I didn't qualify for a refund because I hadn't told them at the time.

Pontipines and Wottingers origin story

If I didn't know this was a headline from this weekend I'd have guessed it must be from about 15 years ago.

I'm on an eight-hour train journey and the woman next to me has just started casually eating an avocado as if that's in any way an acceptable train fruit.

A quick public service announcement to let you all know that the below London shops currently have SIGNED copies of my books. I know they do, because I spent the last few days hiking around signing them. Massive thanks to all of them for supporting the books and just generally being lovely!

I think we need to celebrate the death of Sora a bit more. This is a technology that, just MONTHS AGO, we were being told was going to literally destroy Hollywood and Disney was going to give them a BILLION DOLLARS and NONE OF THAT EVEN REMOTELY HAPPENED

Barbarian's on Channel 4 at 12.45 tonight if anyone can't sleep and wants to watch a nailed-on banger.

Was worried I wouldn't squeeze in a fox sighting on my London trip but I just saw one so all is well.

When I lived in London I was a season ticket holder at @dulwichhamletfc.bsky.social for a good 6 or 7 years, but now that I live in Scotland I haven't been able to make it to a home game since 2021. But at last, today, I'm back at Champion Hill. Come on you Pink and Blues! #DHFC

So lovely to pop into the brilliant Bookseller Crow in Crystal Palace, meet Justine for the first time and sign lots of Notwitches!

Saw this poster at a train station yesterday and it really made me laugh because I could swear all the men on it have exactly the same head and face.

My local Indian place sends actually quite funny and creative emails. I open every one because of this honestly

Popped into the wonderful comic book pop-up shop at Waterstones Piccadilly this afternoon and delighted to see this little baby very prominently displayed. Written by @nedhartley.com, illustrated by Alex Lopez and edited by li'l old me.

Saw this poster at a train station yesterday and it really made me laugh because I could swear all the men on it have exactly the same head and face.

It's difficult trying to be an author, isn't it? You spend ages working on something and you never know if anyone's even going to see it, let alone pay you any money for it. I've written something recently that I think might be OK and I hope people get to see it.

Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract came out in the UK 36 years ago today, on 26 Mar 1990. And last year @garypanton.co.uk, acclaimed children's author of books like The Notwitches talked to me about the logistics of that song on my textcast #FirstLastAnything. firstlastanything.co.uk/2025/08/09/f...

I've been giving audiobooks a go lately and I'm finding it a weirdly difficult skill for my brain to get to used to. My mind keeps wandering and I have to continually rewind bits that I've missed. It's almost like, without any text to look at, my eyes don't know what to do with themselves.

For one thing, the whole cast is dead

Going through a box of some of my old childhood books and rediscovered these frankly wonderful LEGO graphic novels from 1987, which I was *obsessed* with as a kid. One of them says 'Castle Kids 1' at the top but sadly, as far as I can tell, there was never a 'Castle Kids 2'.

Instagram really needs to introduce an option for me to tell it that the reason I'm hiding an ad is because it's full of AI slop.

Heading down to London today for a bunch of stuff that will involve having my photo taken so OF COURSE there's suddenly a massive spot on my forehead.

This is the kind of poster you get when someone in marketing wants the headline to be “Pistachioat” and an executive overrules them.

Calling creative 5-13 y/o kids! 📣 Lit Kids is OPEN to submissions for Issue 10: Folklore/Mythology through 5/15! Send your best writing, art, and photos for our mentors to consider. Please subscribe and keep shining! ✨ www.litkidsmagazine.com/submissions #parents #teachers #kidlit #emag

bUt I wAs ToLd It WaS tHe FuTuRe AnD i NeEdEd To AcCePt It Or ElSe www.wsj.com/tech/ai/open...

This is such a beautiful concept I'm almost welling up. More sandwiches based on pies, please! And lets have a few based on flans, pasties and crumbles while we're at it. It might be slightly oddly named, but PORK PIE INSPIRED is a porky delight and gets 8/10.

Very cool seeing Harrison Ford and Michael J. Fox do a scene together in Shrinking. (Yeah it's a bit old now but we just caught up.)

They can keep their Homer and Tolstoy, Kerouac and Didion: today I’m delving into Panton’s Tesco sarny review thread and it delights, fascinates and informs. And occasionally moves.

Happy ALCS Day to any writers who publish in U.K. printed journals or who've published a book in the UK (i.e. anything with an ISSN or ISBN)! And if you fall into that category of writers but don't know what I mean, google ALCS and sign up for next year's payout. You're missing out on free cash...!

#TheHunt on Channel 4 feels like one of those games that is probably a lot of fun to take part in but ultimately a bit boring to watch.

Feared the worst after the first 10 minutes or so but that was actually OK once it got going. #SNLUK

Really enjoyed that Khomeini joke. Yes I've found my level. #SNLUK

My photograph of the ISS tonight looks like Paddington coming for me after I flatline on the operating table

First impression of SNL UK is that everything is taking way too long - the opening sketch, the opening titles, the bit with Tina Fey and various celebs, that skincare sketch, now this Attenborough bit. Maybe the Fast Show did this to me but it's all just dragging a bit.

Comic Relief finishing at 10pm feels incredibly half-arsed. Didn't it used to go long into the night, or did I only think that because I was smaller?

Very much enjoyed discovering last night that the toilet mirror at our local concert venue has been adorned with a public hygiene message from Lady Leshurr.

i don’t like this painting in my hotel

Laughter tracks in comedy shows are well established but we need thrillers with tracks of people going oooh over the top of them at the excitement moments and plot twists

Magnificent . Today’s #FoxOfTheDay from @ antoniasalter.co.uk

Thing that really gets me about #ThisLife isn't that it's 30 years old. It's that even the reunion episode, which I could have sworn only happened a few years ago, is 20 years old.