In performative reading news, I've been wowing my fellow commuters recently with Finnegans Wake. As the months pass and the pages don't, it gets less performative tbh.

I know it's not good – believe me, I came through the refusing-to-learn disappointment of buying Some Like It Hot and Get It On on 7" – but I still want to hear it. If nothing else, it will surely sound LARGE.

Those risky seconds when it could be either Jealousy or Kokomo.

I wrote a piece on the late, great Dave Ball for @thequietus.com

Say Hello Wave Goodbye was the most heartbreaking song I'd ever heard when I was -well- nine, and Dave Ball's plastic wall of sound gave it beauty and power. RIP synth king.

*Switches off* #CelebrityTraitors

Mercury Prize aftermath made me listen to Wolf Alice's The Clearing properly and my god the second chorus of Safe In The World is wonderful. I keep rewinding (moving the cursor, kids). I do this with unexpectedly spectacular choruses. Keane's The Lovers Are Losing for another, very recent example.

I'm also steadfastly against small talk, because I'm crap at it. Not much cop at big talk either. I stand against talking, who's with me.

Arteta stomping off in disgust at a shot on target. #ARSATM

Gabriel. My god.

Gunners For Peace have come up with some alternative suggestions for Arsenal sleeve sponsors. Because anything's better than Visit Rwanda. www.instagram.com/p/DQD4Ea8jfu...

Gunners For Peace have come up with some alternative suggestions for Arsenal sleeve sponsors. Because anything's better than Visit Rwanda. www.instagram.com/p/DQD4Ea8jfu...

Waltz, darlings.

I don’t know if I’d slide to the absolutism of “moral imperative,” but if your job is to report on what’s happening, and millions of people took to the streets over a cause, and your reaction is “that’s not how it looked on the computer,” then your log has to be off

The radio sitcom I wrote, a really long time ago now, is getting another airing on BBC Radio 4 Extra, so the pilot is up on Sounds now. It'll only be up for 30 days, cos that's what the contracts were like back then. I said it was a long time ago. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b...

Always suspected I loved Galliano because I was a stoned 18-year-old with a soul patch and vintage threads, but a revisit today confirms they were ace. youtu.be/PxVRKdtMLUw

Good luck selling it without a price, lads.

"The referee has indicated 22 minutes of added time" #LIVMUN

Oof. Liverpool fans do that whistling thing when the opposition has the ball? Ok.

If I were the Arsenal I would simply wallop Fulham in the second half. #FULARS

Forest enter their Post-ecoglou era. This is definitely something.

Seeing how long I can have the Charlie Daniels Band on before my daughters kill me. #TOTP

So slick, Boyzone. Drilled to within a mile of their lives. #TOTP

"Woo! Haha!" is not going to make this not a Bill Withers song, Will. #TOTP

Viva Forever, truly a track that was recorded and released. #TOTP

My thoughts on Sam Fender. Seventeen Going Under (the song) is brilliant, rousing, affecting, anthemic in the least oppressive way. Everything else is trying and failing to do it again. But most artists don't manage it once.

Celia Imrie's banshee croak for the #MercuryPrize

Charlotte survives! *withdraws finger from off button* #CelebrityTraitors

I've returned hours later to find this didn't become the irony banger I'd anticipated.

In environmental news, my colleague is making sustainability promos with AI.

"I'm going to have to vote Niko because he's not traditional media" #TheCelebrityTraitors

Watching Dirty Harry. Dean Wormer is currently putting Clint Eastwood on double secret probation.

I love that boy. Gonna score the League and/or Champions League winner for Arsenal this season.

This, though. One of the great intros.

Bought out of early-teen Duran loyalty. Realised 10 years later how great it was. Another 30 years, sure it's fine.

RIP D'Angelo. Blue Nile levels of haste and excellence, what more can you say.

Thank god they don't do an Unwrapped for the CDs you listen to at home, alone, in your office, with the door shut. Everyone would find out my most played band of 2025 is Traffic.

if you ever wonder how metal underground in early 2000s in Tehran looked like.

Every once in a while I remember a Panini sticker from my Espana 82 album. Today it was Austria striker Hans Krankl, aka Johann K., who it turns out had a terrible No.2 hit in his homeland with a cover of Paul Anka's Lonely Boy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaLr...

“What’s the charge? Eating a seal?”

Saw a couple of instances of button-bursting pomposity in the Twitter v Bluesky discourse earlier, saying you should've simply avoided the algorithmic feed. No. Long before it became entirely unusable the For You tab was throwing in unwanted posts, killing links and suppressing non-blue ticks.

If you could please do us a favour and RT (or whatever it is on here) my writing CV I would be extremely grateful. I am a very capable writer of words, mainly “humorous”’ and if you have some PROPER paid work for me, please DM me. Thank you for your time www.mathew-owen.co.uk

Who would have thought that Ron Mael not only has immaculate taste but immaculate reasoning too. This is a beaut of a read from start to finish.

Oddly, they're mainly baffled by 'unknown guy' in the middle. Granted, it's a grotesque patchwork of David Cassidy hair and Hasselhoff torso, but they can't even see Lindsey Buckingham's face carefully spread over the top.

Sometimes I think of ditching Facebook for good, but then I see 100s of people debating the veracity of this very genuine photo of Fleetwood Mac in 1982 and wonder if I can do without it.

The BBC just can’t stop wasting licence fee payers’ money.

The youngest came home and asked me what I'd been doing all afternoon. "I had a bath, mowed the lawn and then sat on my garden bench in the sun for an hour listening to a podcast about Karl Marx." "How very middle class of you."

Just watched Newswatch on BBC Breakfast. Imagine my horror when it finished with a viewer calmly and succinctly COMPLIMENTING the BBC's news coverage. This is not the Newswatch I know. Sort it out, @samiraahmeduk.bsky.social

Occasionally history's greatest single.