Ed Miliband has been made Minister for Chaos.

Really hope Andy Burnham offers Ed Miliband the job of Prime Minister.

I think Avengers: Doomsday looks quite good. Not bothered if you don't. Wasn't going to take you anyway.

I will be judging Andy Burnham only on his deeds and his trousers.

Turns out I was living in the same town as the recently deceased lead singer of Dr Hook, Dennis Locorriere, without realising for 18 years.

The Hokey Cokey is actually about the Black Death.

I am the very first person to review this film on Letterboxd, so if it becomes a cult classic I expect a finder's fee. boxd.it/fjV4WN

Doing the Akira Slide on my Sinclair C5.

Rediscovering salad cream.

As sharing Spotify links is now considered the ethical equivalent of eating foie gras on a park bench, I'm starting a thread of Tune My Music links which allows you to listen to them on the morally superior streaming service of your choice.

A video review (veview) of My Life in Orbit! youtu.be/kVZJkLrIKG8?...

The Wicker Man remake.

Each social media app makes you angry in its own unique way.

Actually, the Falklands belong to Peter Falk

Listening to Donovan. He comes across as a glory hound in interviews, claiming he influenced loads of stuff. But he did actually influence loads of stuff.

Docudrama about the time Dave Davies and Derek Griffiths worked in a music shop together and had to clean Acker Bilk's rancid clarinet.

I always worry an England victory will result in everyone agreeing spontaneously there are No Laws.

Be yourself, but over there.

The day on which it cools down is perpetually delayed.

Pretty sure the cat was sick somewhere but I don't know where. #fun

Curious Goon Show/Beyond the Fringe crossover produced by George Martin. youtu.be/1IdRk1MPnhY?...

One day I will post something that has the potential to appeal to someone under 45. But not today.

Bulgarian music festival has a 'Phillcool' stage.

Organising my 'Visitor' lanyard collection.

The Big Faces would have been scary.

Bert and Ernie should have their own show. I don't want to have to watch Sesame Street to see what they're up to. I'm not 5

omg haha little fruit flies looking for fresh fruit you are SO in the wrong house

No one ever says 'The night is middle-aged'.

30 years since 'Wallaby' by the Spice Girls.

Cheekily speaking ill of the dead with my hand over my mouth.

How about this one of Viking Lou Reed?

A video review (veview) of My Life in Orbit! youtu.be/kVZJkLrIKG8?...

Cat is watching Flow.

Three Lions is actually about heroin.

New My Life in Orbit review just dropped!

Scrappy Doo killed Mike.

BINFACE. In cinemas, 2028.

Wasps. Always looking for the way they came in like they're stuck in the Barbican Centre.

Hello UK friends! I’m delighted to say that my novel Song of the Saltings is now out in your country at all good bookshops! Pubbed by the wonderful folk at Guppy Books. Please spread the word! If you liked The Grimmelings I hope you’ll like this. #ukkidlit #kidlituk guppybooks.co.uk/book/song-of...

Dreamt a room was flooded. Forced myself to wake up because the prospect of then having to dream about clearing up the room seemed so boring.

Unfortunately, the Bayeux Tapestry has been delivered by Evri.

Bet you don't know about the 'Bon Cop, Bad Cop' franchise.

Count Binface wins and goes full fash.

I think TikTok might be the worst thing that ever happened to the internet.

Somehow Instagram has gone from a place where people would post innumerable pictures of their plants to a TikTok clone in the space of three years.

Called Roald Dahl the C word in a humorous context, to widespread indignation/support.

Put on Saint Etienne and immediately tasted the cheap store brand whisky I was unwisely drinking at Glastonbury in 1994.