Friday

Had best get used to getting pegged back when William is King 👑

There will absolutely be a second date. As the kids say, there was definitely a spark

My good deed is done

Off to vote

My completely legal stream just had an Irish public information ad of someone about to fly a drone into electricity lines. Not quite as memorable as

Kids are reading in bed, finally ready for a classic game of association football

Strong James Rodriguez vibes from this James Bond and Coca Cola ad

Having completed online dating, I’ve moved onto the next challenge: Borrow My Doggy. Having my first meeting tomorrow with a hot young blonde called Gracie 🐾🤞❤️

Planning World Cup games at Canada and Scotland fan pubs in London so far. Might need to find a DR Congo or Uzbekistan one too at this rate

Diego Simeone’s bald patch doing a sterling job down the touchline

I could murder a pint of Crypto dot com right now

Sorry not sorry

Win the last three. I’m going to two of them. Please

Only the real ones are watching this one for Star Wars day

Switched over from the football to the ending of E.T. on ITV. Reminds me of one of the great tweets

Slightly diminish a book Cubic Zirconias Are Forever

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit

Top five album of mine. Got a print of A Basket Of Roses in my living room. Incredible from beginning to end.

Incredible record. An album that captures the euphoric possibilities that technology provided whilst acknowledging the sadness of the journey there.

I once said I did not care for this movie. I LIED

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I’m sure I remember someone on Twitter making a video of the Wicker Man ending but it was a giant effigy of Sweep.

“You’ll never sing that”

Only found out (George) Michael Cera is Canadian last night because of an ad during the baseball

Advertise your account using one (1) Simpsons image

Prefer this Champions League semi

Body off Baywatch, Face off crimeWatch

The collaboration we never thought we needed: Spurs and Peppa Pig finally team up

Simeone calls Arteta to discuss the defending in the PSG v Bayern match.

This match needs more goals

2-2!

“Georgian Best” oh dear god

This PSG Bayern game isn’t bad

Now free of the tyrannical reign of Apple Watch. Expecting the Stasi round any minute now to make sure I stand every hour.

No wonder I’m so tired, all these assists I’m making

Adidas bringing out a range of World Cup kits for dogs. Marketing genius.

Enjoying the Snooker 🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🟡🟢🟤🔵🟣⚫️

As a prequel to Raiders Of The Lost Ark… the Ark looked a bit different here. Surprised Moses and Ramses used lightsabers as well.

#Nowwatching Batman and Camp Ricky Gervais retell Moses

Fucking Duolingo 🇫🇷

Chelsea in the cup final on the same day as the flag shagger protests. Will be a tough decision for the fans to decide