Anyone else excited for Flying Ant Day? Confidently predicting it for this coming week (I saw a single one a month ago, who had clearly peaked too soon and not listened to his mates yelling, ‘Dave! Dave! Not yet, Dave!’)

Now that Google has entirely enshittified itself, this may be the only way forward. That or libraries.

Super excited to be part of this anniversary celebration @mrbsemporium.bsky.social alongside Patrick Gale, Naomi Ishiguro and @bookshopband.bsky.social mrbsemporium.com/events/2026/...

Our Writers Day is back at Bristol. A full day of workshops and talks including the brilliant Nikesh Shukla and Lily Dunn on Saturday 6th June for the bargain price of £30 (£18 concessions). www.bristol.ac.uk/english/stud...

Today’s trivial hill I won’t die but might fight a bit on: Twinings tea is not half as good as Yorkshire and present me is very angry at past me who thought it would ‘do’ just because it had £1 off.

Kuenssberg asks, how can we afford to pay people £15/hour LK, who earns around £400,000/year, doesn't ask, how can people afford to live on less than £15/hour? Neither does she ask, should we be subsidising the profits of businesses by topping up the poverty wages they pay?

If I saw this in a film set in an awful dystopic future I'd call it unsubtle, ham-fisted, bad writing...

What it’s like hanging out with me

Me: I am SUCH an optimistic person. Also me: In less than two months it will be the shortest day and it’s all downhill from there.

Solidarity shout-out to all my UKHEI colleagues facing another week of job insecurity ✊️

This is a dance off. If you see this, repost a dance

My hot take is that paperbacks that do not easily allow the spine to be broken should be outlawed.

babe, wake up, new form of mansplaining just dropped

Men: what is with the beard but no moustache à la Amish / Michael Eavis thing? Genuinely trying to understand what the intended vibe here is?

What if a lamp/fish/robot/toy had feelings? Disney: Awww What if two girls ha- Disney: Not relatable

i think if you tweet "a whole civilization will die tonight" you shouldn't go to the hague, the hague should get to come to you

Reading a book and remembering things considered a treat in my 1970s Essex childhood: Cold milk and Ribena (the only allowable Ribena because health) Raw rhubarb dipped in a brown bag of sugar Dry Weetabix with marg and honey Raw jelly cubes Triangles of white bread with fish paste

I’m 55 and I just got hit on on Vinted. VINTED, FFS. Is nowhere safe?

The book banning school in Manchester has now been named, the Lowry Academy. Some of the books have been returned to the shelves but not all. Glad to hear CILIP are supporting the librarian ://www.indexoncensorship.org/2026/03/greater-manchester-school-library-censorship-who-is-accountable/

Nothing but love for the trans people in my family, in my life, and out there in the world. The future will look back on this era in horror, but unfortunately we don’t live in the future. I encourage every cis person I know to speak up, say “not in my name”, to fight for the lives of our loved ones

Every time I post about endometriosis and dare to make it, gender inclusive, I always get a lot of comments from people angry that I didn’t just say “women” And every time, I think about how Rowling has enough money to cure endometriosis forever. But she doesn’t actually give a fuck about women.

My 4th grown-up novel, After Darcy, is published tomorrow. Some very brilliant women have said lovely things about it: Part sequel, part reimagining, and wholly delightful - Jodi Picoult An absolute delight. Funny, moving and filled with heart - Jennie Godfrey www.waterstones.com/book/after-d...

TV executive: *rolls dice* Dice: "Lisa Riley" TV executive: *rolls dice* Dice: "Guy Martin" TV executive: *rolls dice* Dice: "Drystone walling" TV executive: *rolls dice* Dice: "Dartmoor" Magazine: Join Lisa Riley & Guy Martin as they go drystone walling across Dartmoor, autumn on ITV1.

Nothing calms the mind quite like Monty Don saying ‘that’s a very nice group of tubers’.

If I had a spare 90 minutes a week (hollow laugh), I’m pretty damn sure AI would not be anywhere near the list of things I’d be reading about.

My kid’s favourite pigeon, George, who lives outside Harrod’s west side entrance, is hobbling. So if there are any pigeon destringers on here who can get to Knightsbridge, George needs your help! (He’s the white one with a limp.)

Today I am off to something called a Cyber Sandpit (academia trying to make itself sound fun) to discuss AI’s role in the humanities. I fear I can sum up my opinion already in one sentence: Feck the feck off, and then, when you’re done, feck off some more.

Let's pretend that I wrote this for #NeurodiversityCelebrationWeek

Wes Streeting is planning a Cass review for neurodivergency. We are the latest group targeted for public punishment in Labour's vain quest for rightwing support. Lives will be ruined and lives will be lost if they get their way. Please sign this petition. petition.parliament.uk/petitions/75...

Hell we ALL fell in love with Tom Holland.

Yes. Obvs. Some of us never even started. But the cost is a drop in the ocean compared to dairy and beef farming. (And am trying to reconcile that with not being vegan, which I can’t for medical reasons.)

Poets in the Bath / Bristol area, this one’s for you… www.curiousmindsfestival.co.uk/events/small...

Come to this free online event as part of the Good Grief Festival! I’ll be talking to former children’s Laureate Joseph Coelho about how books can help children deal with grief. www.ticketsource.co.uk/goodgrieffes...

If anyone is at LBF I’ll be on the main stage tomorrow at 3.45 talking about being a ghost. And if any friends aren’t booked to the eyeballs, let me know, otherwise I will basically be wandering around stalls in a daze for the remainder of the day. www.londonbookfair.co.uk/en-gb/confer...

I don’t think the Lindt Master Chocolatier has reason to be that smug when all he’s done is make an oblong Ferrero Rocher.

Jakki (sp?) Brambles is giving me Victoria Coren Mitchell vibes in a good way #totp

It would be so nice if dictators and warmongering tangerines could, idk, stop being testosterone-fuelled bellends for five minutes so my kid could pay her heating bill (and also so innocent people don’t die anymore, obvs).

Big up to the student who showed up to tutorial in shorts today. That level of optimism brings me joy.

Rewatching Sliding Doors (one of my many comfort films) and it is a tickbox exercise in my London 90s: - excessive Grolsch - Bertorelli’s - smoking inside - radical pixie haircut - dickish boyfriend with swarthy eyebrows Minus the living in a fancy flat and being, you know, Gwyneth Paltrow

If it helps, I can express my contempt even louder.

Our latest BBC West reporter has a Somerset accent and a man bun and I am here for it.

Anyone lurking around Frome on 26th March, would be lovely to see you at this event for After Darcy… winstonebooks.co.uk/products/fro...

Hope tells me Labour will learn from this. That they’ll stop pandering to wankers and remember who they’re supposed to stand for. Experience reminds me too many ARE the wankers now. Green didn’t split the Labour vote. Labour split the Reform vote. Make hope normal again.

Introducing Hannah Spencer MP 💚

People are exhausted, the moral panics labour have taken an active and willing part in are exhausting, we need change, we need better, we need this The endless attacks on oppressed and marginalised people, disabled, immigrants, trans people, its not what people want But it is what politicians want

We shouldn’t have to vote tactically. We shouldn’t have to painstakingly analyse small sample polls with huge error margins to figure out how to stop our least preferred candidate winning. We shouldn’t have to be bombarded with conflicting party propaganda about who is in front really. It’s madness.

£1million worth going at my uni at the moment. And yet we’re building new campuses constantly.

On Reform's "British culture" bullshit. I grew up in a culture that has endured for 800 years despite attempts, both obvious and insidious, to snuff it out by a much more powerful neighbour. If your culture can't withstand a few Turkish kebab shops, your culture ain't all that. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Watching Robert Aramayo win Best Actor is just GORGEOUS.