Just turned in what will be my eighteenth published book. My 15 year old self wouldn't have believed a word of this. I'm so proud of him for surviving. He almost didn't.

This is distressing to see for a whole host of reasons. deadline.com/2026/07/chil...

Fourth of July! And the US is exactly as much of a mess as you’d expect from a country founded on both freedom and slavery. We are exceedingly good at self-inflicted wounds. I wonder if we’ll recover from this latest, as I write this from my home in London wondering if the UK is going to do the same

Taylor Swift is like if Galadriel took the ring.

Announcing the title of book two of the new Chaos Walking trilogy next week. In the meantime, still time to read book one…

Double Gold Caramel Billionaire Magnum. You’re welcome.

I’m at Edinburgh Book Fest on Friday August 28 doing a public event! Which are always nerve wracking! Come see me, you lovely literate city! www.edbookfest.co.uk/events?eibf_...

Really pleased that Morgan McSweeney has finally discovered that it's better to prepare for government. Thanks for that mate, nice one. Lucky there wasn't a lot riding on it, or you'd really have fucked up inews.co.uk/opinion/hard...

Hmm. Not sure I was slam dunk for the top job until I proved myself utterly unsuitable for it is the gotcha KF thinks...

UK Culture Secretary Lisa Nandy quits TwitterX. This should be the first of many.

But hey, why not, since the blue tick, a time to reintroduce myself NOW OFFICIALLY. I write books and scripts. I’m an immigrant to the UK. I’m super gay, support trans rights, and have a gorgeous baby daughter (so a TERF’s nightmare). I hate AI and fascism and also onions. ¡Hola!

I am blue ticked! Listen to my terrible jokes and unsubtle harangues and despaiiiiirrrrrr!!!! Also, hi, I’m still me. But now more so, apparently.

Since the birth of our daughter, we are CONSTANTLY being told she’s got us “wrapped around her finger”, “under her thumb”, or “under control”. She’s a baby! She literally eats, sleeps and poops! What’s with this societal narrative of controlling girls and dupe fathers? Leave us alone.

Oh my god, I remember this! The lead up to the “secret new technology that would CHANGE THE WORLD” was ludicrous. Narrator: it did *not* change the world.

If you’re looking for a great audiobook, listen to my husband’s. It’s proper good. www.kobo.com/gb/en/audiob...

I’ve been watching Scandal during the midnight baby feeds. My god, it’s addictive.

Nope.

I’m not sure people without small children know what a stranglehold James Martin has on ITV on a Saturday morning.

Starting this month we’re making a change to how we pay our authors. In some ways it's a process tweak but it's also a really important one: we're paying royalties quarterly rather than twice a year.

And on this hottest day of the year, I have to go and kill a beloved character.

Always remember who Julie Bindel is: a virulent homophobe, full of hate and self-imposed fear. This is what transphobia does. It absolutely rots your brain.

I was up with the baby at 1am, took the dogs (and baby) for a ball throw in the little park at 430am, had a swim at the lido at 6am, and now I'm trying to work at 930am and it feels like my Friday should be over and I should having a Magnum and watching All Stars and yet there's a WHOLE DAY AHEAD.

My partner died in 2013, and one of the easiest ways to bring her fully formed back into my head is to remember her muttering “Julie *fucking* Bindel” at a copy of the Guardian. That woman has been wildly misrepresenting her views as the views of all other lesbians and cis women for decades now.

Always remember who Julie Bindel is: a virulent homophobe, full of hate and self-imposed fear. This is what transphobia does. It absolutely rots your brain.

I also think astrology is complete and utter nonsense, but I'm sorry you're not a Libra.

Flaming gods, Noise dreams, a curious object hurtling through space...something is coming to the New World. Brothers Ben and Max couldn't be more different, but they'll need to work together to face it. Our review of Piper at the Gates of Dusk: www.libraries4schools.com/2026/06/25/p... #BookSky

I believe the Myers-Briggs test is sociological hokum. Tho, to be fair, that’s EXACTLY something an INTJ like me would say.

“Riotously politically incorrect” may be the most tiring phrase I’ve ever heard. The multimillionaire being brave again about punching the powerless. So brave. So so brave. deadline.com/2026/06/rick...

Quite shocked - and a little ticked off - that @theguardian.com with its large book section has had zero coverage of the @carnegiemedals.bsky.social Kids books are a HUGE part of the industry, and the Carnegie is essentially our Booker. What’s up with that, @theguardian.com ?

Quite!

Quite shocked - and a little ticked off - that @theguardian.com with its large book section has had zero coverage of the @carnegiemedals.bsky.social Kids books are a HUGE part of the industry, and the Carnegie is essentially our Booker. What’s up with that, @theguardian.com ?

Once, at a party, there was a woman who, whenever told something funny, wouldn’t actually laugh, just said the word “Laughing”.

Not that it matters, but Thierry Henry is also one of the most handsome men on the planet.

Everyone, it’s hot.

#Fiction #HBReviewoftheWeek PIPER AT THE GATES OF DUSK by @patricknessbooks.bsky.social ( @candlewickpress.bsky.social ): "Ness is a skillful storyteller...and the themes of xenophobia and propaganda in this story will especially remain with readers." www.hbook.com/story/review...

Huge congrats to Beth O’Brien for winning the @carnegiemedals.bsky.social for Wolf Siren! Big fun day, met lots of the Shadowing groups, and a great atmosphere.

It's the 10th anniversary of the dumbest moment in modern British history so let's celebrate some of the idiots who made it happen. First up ... Jacob Rees-Mogg and his promise of cheap food and wine... In fact food prices have increased some 12% as a direct result of Brexit (LSE) 1/5

It’s okay that England has no air conditioning because we don’t have screens on our windows either! You won’t have to die inside alone! Every bug in Christendom will join you!

The baby cares way less about thunder than the dogs do.

Just as I was thinking, “You know what this murderous heatwave needs? Humidity.”

The @carnegiemedals.bsky.social are announced tomorrow! If you aren't aware of their Shadowing Program, you are missing a treat! THOUSANDS of kids read the whole shortlists and leave reviews and drawings. Here's the one just for Lizards, but every book has one: carnegies.co.uk/books/chroni...

That huge generation majority and then two years of essentially Conservative government, a hammer on immigrants, a terrifying rollback of trans rights, a government terrified of Spectator columnists. What a wasted, wasted opportunity. Good riddance.

That huge generation majority and then two years of essentially Conservative government, a hammer on immigrants, a terrifying rollback of trans rights, a government terrified of Spectator columnists. What a wasted, wasted opportunity. Good riddance.

The @carnegiemedals.bsky.social are announced tomorrow! If you aren't aware of their Shadowing Program, you are missing a treat! THOUSANDS of kids read the whole shortlists and leave reviews and drawings. Here's the one just for Lizards, but every book has one: carnegies.co.uk/books/chroni...

Turns out babies can poop quite a distance when given a clear shot.

What an absolutely extraordinary book, beautifully read by Jason Isaacs. I read it driving today via the BorrowBox library app. Thank you @patricknessbooks.bsky.social - and for anyone looking for something to read/listen to, get this. I’m v late to it but so glad.

I have nothing against celebrities writing children’s books, but I must say that the absolute blanket coverage of Alexander Armstrong is getting a little hard to take. Would love to see some other talented folks on all those magazine covers and TV shows. So much brilliant MG by non-hobbyists.

I wasn’t born gay, but my name anagrams to “Pink Actress” so…

Hey, Scots! I'm at @edbookfest.bsky.social on August 28th! Come see me! www.edbookfest.co.uk/events/writi...