I thought Smitry was trained as an investigative reporter? He must have forgotten his training because he's awful. #BeyondtheGates

So Jacob is now hanging out in a trailer? #BeyondtheGates

I don’t trust that pen I stole from my bank

Eastern State Penitentiary - Philadelphia, PA #Photography

Lynette asked Vanessa to find a penthouse apartment for her. Hayley is going to need to find another job to pay for it. #BeyondtheGates

Vanessa, you could always go to a therapist to talk about things. #BeyondtheGates

I love this for Hayley. Lynette is going to blackmail her. #BeyondtheGates

Naomi, it's not a big deal. You can tell people that Jacob is working on a special assignment instead of lying about it. #BeyondtheGates

#DaredevilBornAgain episode 4 doodle

Henry Charles Lea gravesite statue - Lauren Hill Cemetery - Philadelphia, PA #Photography

Rad

I always carry a piece of paper in my pocket just in case someone ever tries to attack me with a rock

♫ When you’re a Pet ♫ You’re a Pet all the way

SOMEONE ORDER A STUNNER?!

as my first act as president I am expanding slug bug to apply to all Volkswagens, not just the beetle

Oh, boo hoo, Eva. 😆 #BeyondtheGates

Smitty, where did you go to get trained as an investigative reporter? 😆 #BeyondtheGates

Donnell had a huge crush on Chelsea. Samantha is big mad about that. 😆 #BeyondtheGates

Darlene rolling her eyes about Leslie. 😆 #BeyondtheGates

Get a job, Leslie. Why does she always have to he attached at the hip with Eva? #BeyondtheGates

Are you really casting a wide net on this case, Jacob? Or just hanging out in the alley? #BeyondtheGates

Does everyone just do it on their couch? #BeyondtheGates

If Martin loses his election, which direction would his life go? #BeyondtheGates

Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul - Philadelphia, PA #Photography

So Naomi has a living room and a bedroom, no kitchen? #BeyondtheGates

Laurel Hill Cemetery mausoleum gate - Philadelphia, PA #Photography

Since UCLA won the women's basketball national championship today, I hope Michigan men's basketball team can win the national championship tomorrow. #BigTen

Frosted shredded mini wheats are just Triscuits from the sweet side of the tracks.

UCLA beats South Carolina 79-51 to claim its first women's NCAA Tournament championship.

UCLA has defeated South Carolina 79-51 to win the women's NCAA basketball tournament, securing the Bruins' first national title in the program's history. https://cnn.it/3PIV3hP

Go #BigTen! #NCAAWBB

oops I pooped your pants

*at a restaurant ordering breakfast* waiter: how do you take your eggs? me: cadbury

What flavor cupcakes are these?

My jeans started to feel a bit too loose, so I fixed it by eating a bag of chips and 12 brownies. A woman’s work is never done.

Daddy, why does the Easter Bunny have an ankle monitor like Uncle Carl?

Yeah i like to stay active

Old enough to remember my parents losing their fucking shit that summer I dialed 1-900-Mixalot 74 times

Night vision goggles for that 4am phone scroll.

What wine pairs best with no longer giving a fuck?

Wondering how I did it? I boiled water and added two tablespoons of vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice. I soaked it for 20 minutes, and after that, it looked the same, so I bought a brand new one.

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

Bsky has died. Bsky is risen. Bsky will trend again.

Eastern State Penitentiary - Philadelphia, PA #Photography

I bet throwing myself in a wood chipper would feel amazing right now.

Wheel Of Fortune Contestant Keeps Asking For An E