Kind of seems unfair to remote workers who got forced to return from office that the Iran War is getting run from Florida

this isn't a distraction from epstein class pedophilia it's an expression of the epstein class worldview

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe? AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

i stand with my trans homies! 🏳️‍⚧️ fuck this administration and the rotten animals who’re in charge! and fuck the disingenuous losers who are just “asking questions”!! here’s a question i’m “just”asking: when will you die!?

Rejecting the term “live service games” and instead calling them “epstein-likes”

made fan art for my favourite horror movie

REPORTER: Sir, can you tell us what happened with the elephant? ME: (huddled in a space blanket) Of course: I was minding my business when the beast grabbed me with its trunk. My penis, exposed for unrelated reasons, functioned as a sort of axel by which I was rotated like a holiday noisemaker

My wife sank to the bottom of the ocean. They said she had a condition which gives the body “0 buoyancy” so once she stepped in, she just rocketed down. I was about to tell her I was ready for kids. And for all this, I get to be the top YouTube comment for the Counting Crows cover of Big Yellow Taxi

The best part of this feature was the people who signed up for it by accident and then filled their timeline with posts like "UNSUBSCRIBE I'M NOT INTERESTED"

well credit where credit’s due: it’s 2035 and i’m driving to work in elon musk’s moon city—or rather my optimus robot chauffeur is, heh. i’m just kicking back and enjoying the view. what kind of a name for a moon bridge is owl creek

What the hell, sure.

i love that for the average american, activism is just watching TV the correct way

Subtitlers absolutely love it when chatter is indistinct

"why are you always shitting on dems instead of the guys actually doing this" when the firemen sit around with their dicks out watching my house burn down I don't go yell at the fire!!!

I wonder how he's handling all this

isles announcer brendan burke: horvat heads toward the bench, no doubt frustrated that he couldn’t put the puck in the net horvat (audibly): FUCK

I should be able to delete a couple Sugar Ray songs from my memory and replace them with loved ones birthdays.

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

National outlets reporting that a gull grabbed one of Greg Bovino’s french fries and he was carried off when he refused to let go

I wondered why the imperial boomerang was getting bigger… and then it hit me

the 45,000 gun deaths we suffer each year are just the price we pay to live in a society made safe from government tyranny by an armed populace

When I look at fascism throughout history I regularly think "this happened bc the population protested and resisted the secret police too much. I wish they had chilled out, demonstrated proper civility so as not to earn the already occurring oppression, and let the fascist lose the next election

There’s one easy way ICE agents can avoid paying back their $50k bonus but you’re not allowed to say it on here. It IS, however, First Amendment protected free speech to suggest it to their faces

im going to say this. im genuinely very proud of most of you. the people out there trying to impoverish, jail, and/or kill us drove themselves insane on much less than we are enduring right now, while most of you have not yet gone insane. very good work. treat yourself to pizza or somesuch today

“ICE agents, get out now because historically, this ends with you hanging from a lamppost and your body paraded through the streets.” - the …we rate dogs guy

Did the crowd even consider writing a strongly worded letter first?

Please stop telling ICE agents to "go back to Texas," we don't want them either

Forget democracy, we will not even be able to even have a society under capitalism. They are fundamentally opposed. There is no opposition party, only one group of torturers and executioners and one group of polite witness-bearers who you can file a complaint with.

REGIME CHANGE 🇺🇸

Kinda sucks how one day you’ll post stuff like “does the Grinch use the toilet?” and then the next it has to be “I reject those who worship death”

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Will Smith did WHAT????

keep honking I’m compiling shaders

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Oftentimes when a person says something is “cool and good” it is not cool at all

Made the mistake of holding my tongue when friends started getting motorcycles and now one of them is lucky to be alive. We owe it to our friends to bully each other into normal midlife crisis hobbies like setting up a homelab or painting 40k figurines.

Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.

Today I got to commute 3 hours for the privilege of doing the exact same shit I've been doing from home for 5+ years. I'm starting to think these RTO mandates aren't actually in workers' best interests!

I hate the way the AI chatbots and assistants talk, which has obviously been engineered to put me, a millennial, at ease. Shut the fuck up. You misunderstand everything about me. It’s like when the YouTube algorithm recommends me Sleep Token

bom video

Hey guys we need to raise your power bills again because the jackoff material factory needs more power to turn your mom and daughter’s pictures into pornography and we need you to pay for it

expedition 33 is going to win every single category at the geoff keighley game awards, but dont let that fool you, its not actually that bad

it's so funny that alex jones was totally right about everything, the government is a bunch of drug-addled pedophiles and masked regime thugs are grabbing people off the streets, and now he has to pretend it's all a hoax