andrewlloydwebsite.com A collaboration between me, Henry Shitmat, Tim Stone and Dave Rankin

The bully agrees to stop hitting you and in return they get to keep your lunch money.

Trump prepares the Epstein files for release

I’m not a great political analyst, but I do feel Labour have made a tactical error by opting to be cunts.

This morning’s first sneeze sounded like “Chechnya” and now I’m working my way through the former Soviet republics. You might want to keep your distance when I get to Kyrgyzstan.

New word of God just dropped.

There is no reason why this should have made me laugh so hard a bit of gas escaped.

Every ad now

Boy, if only he could release all those files which showed his innocence and everyone else’s guilt.

Beano #1679, September 21, 1974

Trump threatens to sue the BBC for editing his words into coherent sentences

It’s live! Please do buy a copy if you can, I’ve put a lot of work into making it a nice object and the programs are genuinely fun and/or impressive

Just absolutely classic BBC. You've just broadcast the most successful programme of the year, uniting Gen Z kids online and Boomers on broadcast in a return to appointment television. And instead of celebrating, your DG reigns due to a made-up right-wing scandal.

Inspired by The Jase's video, I realised that the Mr Blobby song also works quite well with the John Lewis advert. But then it took a dark turn...

“Where’s your poppy?”

Jesus Christ. We go mad about one bloke we wrongly released, yet hear next to nothing about this horror? www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Laurence Fox wrote a song about Charlie Kirk, and this is the only comment on it.

I have made a pumpkin, and I have made a video of a pumpkin, and I have judged it not quite too shit to share. #AlienEarth #Halloween #pumpkin

Andrew Mountbatten Windsor to receive title update with minimal disruption

I’ve got a suggestion for Andrew Mountbatten Windsor’s new digs.

…of an ongoing investigation.

Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.

We will fight them on the quiches

• Make them President ❌

EXCLUSIVE A prominent racist has been hacked by somebody with identical values. Click for more: open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...

Share a cartoon from the past that kids today have probably never heard of

Share a cartoon from the past that kids today probably never heard of.

OH, YOU DON’T SAY

This feels like something you’d expect to see in Stath Lets Flats.

"IT ABSOLUTELY WILL STOP!!!"

Reading the FBI Most Wanted lists on Wikipedia and it's gone a bit Day Today

In order to properly celebrate Trump's legacy, the $1 coin will be worth 75¢. www.politico.com/news/2025/10...

‘I know picture editors who use subtext and they are all cowards.’

I'm skimming, but this paragraph stood out:

I hope it's clear to everyone now that Trump really is going for it - he's trying to become a dictator. I don't know if he'll succeed, but he's working to install himself as an autocrat unaccountable to voters. And he's weaponizing the military against Americans who oppose him as part of that effort

When is someone going to make him do the arithmetic live on air?

“Oh, so you’re my replacements: a dandy and a clown.”

“I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.”

"I am altering the right to remain rules. Pray I don't alter them further."

tempt them back to room with banana

Noel’s House Departy.

Just getting ready to pose for my compulsory UK ID photo.

RAPTCHA

Couldn't get to sleep last night because my brain decided it was of huge importance to write lyrics to the theme tune from Fawlty Towers so here it is… (thanks brain)

Friday: a prosecutor is forced to resign bc he concludes there's not enough evidence to go after Trump's perceived enemies Saturday: Trump makes public post asking Attorney General why she hasn't gone after his enemies Wednesday: DOJ says enemy indictment coming right up sir do I have that right?