The Tkachuks did a TikTok with Elmo for Sesame Street, and the entire comment section was people telling Elmo to run as fast and as far away from them as possible.

aber es gibt es auf Französisch

Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years

Well this is horrifying. Let's not let her get a county wide elected seat

These secrets were revealed to me

... this been the most "who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes" decade or two, i have ever experienced

AMEN TO THIS Most of the doctors who have believed me about my body are men

Now I'm thinking about how Team in French is l’équipe and in German it's Die Mannschaft and honestly I don't really have any commentary on this I'm just laughing at everything.

Tabarnak 😞

This is exactly how it works in hockey, too, it's nice when people understand that despite it being the least popular major sport

I can’t believe this dude still has fans tbh

I'm not a Fancy City Historian but holy shit

Sweden curling set up a sting operation to catch Canada cheating i’m fucking losing it

fuck modern day seinfeld, give me modern day golden girls. i want blanche to complain about performative men on tinder. i want sophie to ragebait people on twitter. i want dorothy to complain about having to learn about 6 7 from her students. rose get ipad.

Never not relevant

It’s okay to be weird as long as you have a good heart. don’t let people make you feel bad for being weird

Current* conditions near Chicago, IL:

Some may say it's hubris and that the Bible explicitly says none will know the day or the hour, but here we are anyway

Damn, Chicago, look at you

Memories for the whole fam

The Orioles are the Dutch of MLB

Guys look at the beautiful and rare Well Behaved Sunset Dog with her Chicago Bears quality* linebacker shoulders. *She looks really tough but would probably have a pretty hard time stopping the run.

"Sucksmith" has a lot of potential as either a compliment or an insult, depending on what you're talking about. Clearly it was wasted as a proper name.

Current* conditions near Marblehead, OH:

Lola does not understand why I would pay attention to anything besides her

Current* conditions near Hamilton, ON:

Just catching up and seeing this now. 😂

I just yell-laughed and it scared the dog

DJ Khaled is doing wegovy commercials but whenever I see him I just think about his vehement opposition to box munching so it's really not doing what the marketing team probably wanted

These swedish women curlers are doing a murder live on TV

I'm not going to reskeet any Stancil Thoughts but I'm very tired of people being like "if only we could explain to people that there's really no inflation" 😔 while I'm spending 7 American dollars on 6 ounces of gruyere

The curling announcer just said "11 seconds hog-to-hog" and my friends? I am not mature enough for this

The stars, they're just like us

I just made a really amazing loaf of sandwich bread but it looks stupid because a child attempting to be helpful turned off the oven before I was going to put it in. But it still tastes good! It's just the shape of a cast iron skillet now.

Hold on guys I need to be real bougie for a sec Nine dollar Gouda, seven dollar gruyere and not a single Emmentaler to be found, I'm going to commit a crime How am I supposed to Käsespätzle in these conditions

Most viruses, you catch them, your immune system learns them, locks their details in the control room, and then you can fight them in the future. Measles not only doesn't leave you that data, it blows up the control room. No immune memory for YOU good DAY.

I'm seeing a lot of people saying things like "we can't house ICE victims in refurbished warehouses, they're not fit for human habitation and/or so we have extra warehouses for ICE but not gor the homeless and... as someone who has been formerly homeless I don't love the juxtaposition 🧵

I just watched a youthful man do approximately 7 back flips off of a ski jump and then I hurt my right hip when stepping over a plastic bin in my bedroom

This is a lovely book and the audiobook is also wonderful

This would be amazing at the 95th red line

ON DAY 9 OF THE OLYMPICS, CANADA FINALLY WINS ITS FIRST GOLD

Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, the camera matrix-style swings 180 degrees making clear what kind of move I was trying to do]

i honestly believe that this idea that you have to subject yourself to every shocking horrifying image as part of "the fight" mostly manifests in people who are doing absolutely nothing to "fight" other than post on social media because i never see it amongst people who are getting things done

Ghost Bridge

This just made me nostalgic as hell

Current* conditions near Frankfort, MI:

Current* conditions near Toronto, ON:

Genesis 3:24 says God placed a cherubim with a flaming sword to guard the entrance to the Garden of Eden and Renaissance painters were like, clearly this is a baby we're talking about.