I wish meth were legal so it could sponsor the Cardinals' tarps off section

An incredibly stupid challenge which totally makes sense coming from a guy who took a picture with Charlie Kirk

Death, taxes and Bregman and Happ striking out with a runner in scoring position

I have seen Lee Greenwood live exactly once. I also saw Billy Idol perform at the same event. Oh and also the Blackhawks played the Capitals outdoors.

If you want a picture of the future, it's the government forcing you to listen to Kid Rock and Lee Greenwood. Forever.

Welcome back to Jeb!ardy, I'm your host, Jeb! Please Clap. OK Contestants, remember. Answers must be in the form of a hopeless plea.

God forbid a woman have hobbies

I know 99% of people are gonna dunk on this article without reading it but the first headline really didn't reflect the point of the article at all and even the new one isn't great. Not saying I agree with the whole thing but given how often I read straight women on here complaining about being

I took the one less traveled by And that has made all the difference* * the difference was a giant thorn catching my shoulder and another slashing my leg

The Iran deal is the Chinese Democracy of politics

This is the "top Democrat" who says the book is unhelpful. Fuck the Democrats for even listening to this bottom-feeding billionaire who's bleeding rural hospitals dry

🎵 Movin' to the country... 🎵

If I was the Bulls I would draft someone a little taller and a little better than Wemby. Drafting someone shorter and worse than Wemby is probably not going to be good enough.

Fuck the Knicks, yesterday today and everyday

HAVE YOURSELF A NIGHT, PCA

damaNEE

Ben "Five Finger" Brown

he just did it again and it makes me zaidman cackle every time

I’m not one to speak in hyperbole, but Ben Brown is the greatest Cubs pitcher of all time.

So far I've seen two Bayern kits and way too many Dortmund kits at Maifest and I'm kind of regretting wearing my Mannschaft shirt and not one of my VfB ones

Fellas, is it gay to have a vegan girlfriend?

I really want to buy a Chris Richards USMNT kit and an Angelo Stiller Germany kit but we're sending our 15yo to Morocco for an Arabic immersion program this summer so money's tight. Anybody have $250 lying around that they don't need?

Meanwhile the White House is about to announce that Lou Bega will be performing his new MAGA hit "Mambos #45 & 47" at Freedom 250

Gorilla Playing Saxophone with Balloons has dropped out of the White House concert

woody doesn't produce as much semen as he did as a teen in 1995

me can go as Peen Wolf like that because somehow i missed this yesterday and HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS IT'S

Maybe you can help me and I can help you

Well at this point statistically speaking the Habs will need at least three more shots on goal to force overtime and potentially stay alive so . . . RIP Habs

Me when the Habs actually get a shot on goal:

Wow! I didn't think he was going to do Ice Ice Baby, but then, Bam!!, second encore!

How Freedom 250 will be remembered twenty years from now:

*They Might Be Giants voice* 🎵 I'm not a real doctor but I am a real MILF I am an actual MILF 🎵

BREAKING: Garfunkel, Messina, Oates and Lisa have also withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Celebration

We are failing utterly to see the real problems because we have been trained for decades to see every social problem as a policing opportunity.

People talk about creating things for teens to do, and that's absolutely an issue, but also how about we create jobs and programs and healthcare so parents don't have to work two or three jobs that make it infinitely harder to provide structure for their kids?

PRE-ORDERS END TONIGHT!!!

Freedom of '76 >>>>>>> Freedom 250

Freedom '90 >>>>>> Freedom 250

A little on the nose that the two performers still participating in Trump's hillbilly jamboree have "vanilla" and "Florida" in their stage names

This becomes an automatic block from me.

This is why I get mad when I see Canadians gleefully dunking on the U.S.: not because they're wrong but because too many seem to think that "not as bad as the U.S." is good enough and the result of that kind of thinking is shit like this

I envy the mental health of anybody who reacts to news of a suicide with "but they seemed so happy" or "but they were rich and famous." Even if you've never experienced it yourself you should know that anxiety and depression don't care about how outwardly successful you are.

Can't wait until every one of these has a Hitler mustache drawn on it