This WOULD explain her math skills (or lack thereof)

What an awful organization.

Oh great our train is stopped due to police activity ON OUR TRAIN. I clearly picked the right day to grab a roadie (a trackie?) on my way to the station

Play stupid games . . .

It ain't easy being brown(shirt)

If by "professional workplaces" you mean "Lakeview Jr. High in 1992" then the answer is absolutely yes

*Fred Schneider voice* if you see a faded glass at the end of the bar that says 15 miles to the

So upon further review I think it might be essentially an automatic gratuity and if it's going directly to the servers then I'm okay with it

five women lead singers/solo artists I've seen Samara Joy Otoboke Beaver Caroline Rose The Breeders Eleanor Friedberger

I'm at Wild Blossom Meadery to see my buddy's band play and they add a $1.75 service fee per drink because it's a special event. I've been to tons of gigs at bars and breweries and never seen this before. (We also paid a cover to get in.)

What you get if you cross Sweet Dee with Pop-Pop

*Rod Stewart voice* wake up Congress, I think I got something to say to you

Great benefits (don't you ask us about the benefits or you are disqualified for being unprofessional)

"Were a remote company!" (Has to work in New York City)

A much larger company has made a public offer to acquire my company, which naturally has motivated me to see what other opportunities are out there. The number of LinkedIn listings with salaries posted as something like "$75k-$250k" is ridiculous.

Tbh you should talk to your kids about Steely Dan before someone else does.

pick up the nearest book. turn to page 42, post the second sentence "'Do you want to join me and become German champions?' was the club founder Franz Kremer's famous sales pitch when he persuaded two local teams, SpVgg Sülz 07 and Kölner BC 01, to join forces in 1948."

Gonna tell my kids this is Steely Dan

America: giving Canadians a smug sense of self-satisfaction while allowing them to ignore their own government's atrocities since 1867

If every time there's speculation that Trump might be dying you respond that it can't be true because these rumors are always wrong, you'll be right every time... until he actually dies, at which point you'll be wrong and I'll never let you forget that you were wrong the day Trump bought the farm.

The mysterious man says his name is DB J6er

Me when it finally happens:

My favorite MF LOUD album is Mar-A-Lago Villain

I totally don't get this joke at all I swear

Alarmist is closing now? Goddamit at this point I think I have more friends that are former brewery owners than current brewery owners 🫤

Watching First Blood for the first time and baby David Caruso is cracking me up

Speaking of What A Fool Believes, the Self cover is fantastic: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzVl...

I am so fucking here for the Year of Cabbage (though I thought they broke up?) www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8gF...

This is a very niche post but anybody else read this to the tune of Squid's Houseplants?

Let us save you a phone call. Yes. We’re open.

fReEdOm oF sPeEcH

Was literally just thinking that Trump has turned into the platonic ideal of Mr. Burns and Grandpa Simpson.

Ironically the head coach of the Milwaukee Admirals was recently fired despite the fact that he had done a Bill job of leading that hockey team.

I've been boosting it a bunch but ICYMI

Get rid of your Ring doorbell yesterday

Of fucking course he is

Happy "find an MLK quote that superficially supports whatever you're promoting" Day to all who celebrate

Trump is thinking about making Puerto Rico a state just because that would make it easier for him to invade it.

Only sad about the Bears game in the sense that I don’t get to watch them anymore this year. Most fun season in forever and a ton of amazing memories. Pumped to see what they do next year.

Sucks right now but we were one first down away from the conference championship game in Caleb's second season and Ben Johnson's first. Can't wait for next September to roll around. 🐻⬇️

Good. Better luck. Next year.

His coming was foretold.

Ran 18 miles today for #18 (okay really I ran 18 miles because I've got a marathon coming up and it just so happened that this weekend's planned long run was 18 miles but gonna assume it's a sign that the Bears will win today)

Man, 1977 must've been fucking wild as a music fan. Imagine hearing Bowie's Low, Steely Dan's Aja, debuts from the Clash and Talking Heads, Kraftwerk's Trans-European Express, and Donna Summer's I Feel Love all for the first time in the same year.

i was talking with someone in the twin cities about how it’s not even accurate to call them protesters. they’re literally just people protecting their city from TERRORISTS.

Never mind the blues smoke detector, here's...