In Zohran's New York it's not gay if your hand brushes the homie's on the subway pole.

just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias

Zohran says you’re trans now

I will not condemn the Maquis. The Prime Directive is colonialism. Transporter proliferation has been a disaster and regulations have not caught up to the realities even after more than a century.

Spray tan = $150 Waxing = $100 half leg, $200 full leg Complimentary prosecco 🥂 Walk-ins accepted!! 💝

2026 Primary Woke Wave

“Democratic socialists” and “lgbt” both being 80% means every dem candidate needs to be both a socialist and to unequivocally support trans rights thanks.

curtis sliwa supporters currently booing andrew cuomo. he really did bring the city together

THE CHEQUE HAS COME DUE

if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam

I can't wait to see how big this mandate is

Existing in obscurity for my entire time on this website has left me psychologically unprepared for one (1) Big Account Retweet

Yes! Vibe shift for the late 2020s is snobmaxxing. We're looking down our nose at the slop served up by cynical corporate tastemakers. We're demanding things be made for grownups. We're exercising our judgment and our media literacy.

my wife may be aloof but her boyfriend really lights up a room

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

thinking about the “we have enough hot takes” lady for some reason lately

Air Bud Returns (2026)

My congratulations to all Baseball Perverts. It was their "super bowl" last night and it seems they all had a very bad time (in their culture that's how you have a good time)

Friend in real life, looking at me: you look great! This look really suits you! Me, looking at a photo where I'm out of focus in the background making a stupid face: I'm pretty sure that being in public makes me criminally liable for assault against anyone who accidentally looks at me.

Doing a couples costume with a person I'm not dating from a movie nobody's seen... Halloween, baby

Me reading your posts

Cigarettes used to be cheap enough that you could give a whole pack out to each trick or treater instead of just one or two loosies. Failed fucking empire

am i full of regrets from wasting my one precious life (the end of which is approaching by the day, faster and faster and faster) or did i go to bed a little later than usual and it's cloudy outside. impossible to say. probably the first thing

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

Also, "a surge in bets on the bigger payout option as the betting window closes" is just how betting markets work

Calvin's Parents are Reagan-Clinton voters

Donald Duck: Democrat because he likes FDR. Hoping for MacArthur or Eisenhower in 48. Flash Gordon: Rexford Tugwell-style utopian liberal Democrat Superman: Wendell Wilkie Democrat Batman: Unreconstructed Hooverite Republican Gomez and Morticia Adams: Communist Party USA

Not to sincerepost too hard but as someone who hopes to soon be a parent of a Muslim New Yorker Mamdani's video made me cry

Resent how much baseball I am aware of because of you people. Go Jays, death to Amerikkka, unless the Dodgers win, then all hail LA, America's Constantinople.

You, a fool: Anime where everyone shouts everything they say and do stupid anime bullshit with no explanation Me, an intellectual: Anime where everyone talks in a monotone and explains the intricate world building informing all the stupid anime bullshit they do

Of course that’s your contention. You’re 12.

Groverwhitehaus

CHOTINER: So this movie, you already had it on bluray? ME: That's correct. CHOTINER: And you've bought it again. ME: Not exactly. I bought a 4K bluray of it. CHOTINER: Superior? ME: Yes. CHOTINER: Perceptibly superior? ME: The resolution is...look, on an OLED- CHOTINER: Do you have an OLED?

These violent delights are awesome I bet they're gonna have dope as fuck ends

Was having a conversation with my wife's boyfriend about character actor Dann Florek and sent him a picture to explain who he was but we don't text that much cuz he lives in my house so now Dann Florek is just hanging out at the top of our conversation like

starting a petition for Maine Senate candidates to keep their shirts on

A new branch of the civil service 100% composed of makework for various freaks and cranks would set this city on the path to success

Learning about NYCs fiscal crisis of the 1970s and it seems like what they needed was a mayor willing to just say "damn that's crazy" as the city's credit score tanked and just run the entire budget on debt and spend all the actual revenue on debt servicing until somebody bailed them out

"Unlike the vacuum cleaner, the radio, or the bicycle, which retain their use value when everyone has one, the car... is only desirable and useful insofar as the masses don’t have one."

“Man today has become accustomed to the terrible, nagging, spasmodic fear of crime in everyday life and has immediately created a God to protect him: the God detective, celebrated in the cult of the crime novel.” - Augusto De Angelis

Me reading all these reviews of Del Toro's Frankenstein that paint it as "What if Crimson Peak was even more Gothic, florid, and horny?"

Based on what the libs are about these days I feel like the situation is ripe for Chinese intelligence to astroturf a sort of American Baath Party with a strong law-and-order-majestic-equality-of-the-law-respect-the-process sheen that does the Asian-style exemplary crackdowns on business elites

Surely Albany is the Albania of America

average Queens address

"Instead of Columbus, we should celebrate all Italian women for being so hot." this is a genuine thought I had this morning. I'm sharing it as an act of contrition. please do not get mad at me. please do not become passionately enraged with your fiery tempers and strike me with a heavily-ringed hand

Choose your Future, Consumer: Slave-powered Dubai chocolate Mall-Hell Labubu Sultanate or Enforced Petit-Bourgeoisie Curated Brooklynite Smallcrafters Guilds

topical