Sidetalkin'!

Hey I knitted a goddam scarf today

Let’s fuckin knit. Attempts one and two. Starting to not feel wildly alien.

Me: online quiz type things, especially intentionally jokey ones, are not interesting social media brag fodder and people should not crow about them Also me: 16/16 in under a minute, motherfuckers www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/who...

BIG GAME HUNTER PLAYED BY DICK VAN DYKE WITH AN ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE AUSSIE ACCENT: [stops on trail, picks up some dirt off ground, sniffs it, gazes into the indefinite distance, whispering] Mary Droppins

M (AYB) E (IT WILL H) A (PPEN ) T (ODAY) it was staring us in the face the whole time

I made a kitty

"hey don’t worry you’ll figure it out" yeah but that requires me to not worry and also figure it out

barkeep, a bladder of your finest huel

the arc of the moral universe is footlong

okay stay with me here: five-ep a week TV series

Extremely last minute high-difficulty costume idea: Lake Champlain Supernova

the rancid vibe of Trump's first administration being that your shittiest uncle at Thanksgiving got elected president translates to this second admin as everyone at the table is now your shittiest uncle

five minutes later: "we regret to inform you that he has a skull tattoo of some sort" one minute later: "okay i'm being told it's actually Sans from Undertale"

big boat stuck!!

I gather there was some blaseball tonight

proud to stand in solidarity with Dolly Parton in the ranks of Having A Sister Who Vaguebooks Family Medical Drama And Gets Everybody Worried

And you can have one of your own! www.etsy.com/listing/1308...

what's the matter, babe, you've barely touched your unending algorithmic firehose of the ongoing awfulness

Anyway i walked in with eyes open and like at least neither Elon nor Trump is here yet, so, uh. I don't know. Shit still sucks lately. I still like you weirdos in my narrow curated patch. I'm tired of seeing the inevitable play out, is all. It's fucking exhausting.

the inevitable run from "we're small enough and young enough that the energy is really good and so we'll defer actually solving for the moderation and ethics problems that always come to the forefront as a large-scale social media platform grows and ages" to "oh shit--

ISAAC CHOTINER: you've said you're sitting in a room ALVIN LUCIER: [gesturing around] of course CHOTINER: and that it's different from the one I'm in now LUCIER: well, but CHOTINER: which, sitting here together, I'm just wondering if you see a contradiction there LUCIER: let me start again

Walking into grocery store on a hot day and seeing the mist drift down on the vegetables is a pure-grade Isla Nublar experience

TODD [the upperclassman who bullies God]: more like crapture

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

two thirds of the way through an episode of Grand Designs, when the project is six months behind schedule, 150 thousand quid over budget, and they're hoping to finally get the cladding on before the snow starts

sprucing up the chickens' laying box

you have to understand, that hateful shithead had a FAMILY, that overt, gleeful cheerleader for transphobia and gun violence was a FATHER and a HUSBAND, that guy whose entire career was focused on making the lives of the vulnerable and marginalized as miserable as possible was someone's SON

LeGuin’s famous critique of hyperemesis, “The Loathe of Heavin’”

man from utility company knocked on my door and handed me this

Trans women are Zorak and trans men are Brak. I will not be taking questions at this time

right now I have joke components that I am trying and failing to jam together satisfactorily: a Fortune Telling + Therapeutic Massage shop, an old woman in a turban in front of a crystal ball predicting the future, customer asking but where's the masseuse, and Marshall McLuhan saying Actually,

MAN: doc you gotta help me, i'm so depressed, my life is falling apart, I don't even have object permanence any more DOCTOR: solution is simple, great clown Pagliacci is in town [turns to point at show poster on wall] MAN: WHERE DID YOU GO

look, if he dies i'll eat my hat [grips artisanal dark chocolate hat between trembling fingers]

what a fucking stupid time to be a person who cares about other people

Still, small voice an absolutely D-tier moral guide. Sub-Jiminy Cricket-ass shit. Loud, shouty internal moral sensibility to not hurt people on general principle because that obviously fucking sucks, not dependent on complicated supernatural externalities: way more reliable.

Hack the planetarium

Ma’am are you aware you are a chicken

finding a genie in a bottle, wishing that Dershowitz never gets another pierogi in his shitty life, clarifying that I only want the one wish but it should piss him off three times as much

The Ones Who Booked An Exclusive Interview With An AI Clone of the Kid from Omelas

chickens

William Carlos Williams, having just drunk your entire supply of Kikkoman at 2am: This Is Just To Soy

Trouble does what it wants. VAPORMAGE, a magitek fantasy adventure novel, drops Oct. 2. Preorders soon. vapormage.com #booksky

closeup shot of my extremely tightly kerned knuckle tats, “OPPROBRIUM” and “APPROBATION”

Funhouse mirror icosahedron selfie made possible by @joshmillard.bsky.social

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One favorite = one novel mythological chimera