Today I Will Look The Burrito Man In The Eye and other stories of manifesting success

hey are you guys wang chungin tonight or

I love Fullmetal Alchemist

it's not illegal to imagine what it would be like if every character on TV had a retainer, at least not yet

it's important to remember that a dramatic surge and an expansion are two different things that are completely the same thing.

If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.

Angels treating spring training like it's July and we've already lost hope

More songs should start like Monkey Gone to Heaven. "There was a guy." Ok I'm listening, what's this guy up to

A lot of you are saying pretty negative stuff about Markwayne but I respect the man for writing Tom Sawyer

Bram Stoker’s White Chicks

cramming for this eye exam looking at every fucking thing I can

It shouldn’t be a scandal to give a teapot dome

god saves his spiciest mustard for his bravest lil corndogs

Boy George has been Bar Mitzvahed and now goes by Man George. No update on Kid Rock.

Good morning! Yes, this is he

seems bad

I think one of the things that bothers me the most about the way Polymarket presents itself to the world is that it's adopted the language of journalism to make itself sound more legitimate. Like look at this post from yesterday morning incorrectly "projecting" the winner.

A little confused by "instead" here. The saying isn't "fuck around, instead find out"

If I say I was born in the wrong time I’m talking about quaaludes

Greg Davies: Great task, well done. Didn‘t eat a thing. Persephone: Thank you. Alex Horne: Ah. Well. Let’s take another look at that pomegranate.

My two settings

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

wizard

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

"American innovation" now refers to making a kind of atrocity cronut by combining insider trading with war crimes.

Fuck, they’re going to put Riley Gaines in charge.

wow!

OUT: I'm gonna cum IN:

they should invent parents that are proud of me

I have never seen a politician more directly copy this speech in my life

Clark Kent: Hey did you all see Superman this weekend? He was going totally brazzbo. Coworkers: Uh yeah. We’re going to print that he went faster than a speeding bullet. Clark Kent: I think he would like if we said he was going totally brazzbo. I think he would like if we tried to get that going.

buffering the vampire slayer

Earth, Wind & Fired: My Life As R&B/Soul/Disco's Favorite Ceramicist

Fubby the Vampire Lawyer

bumping this bc why not. announcing a few more bands this weekend

ignoring the platner of it all, fetterman is really playing two truths and a lie with the whole "committed Democrat" bit here

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “lmao" said Gandalf, “well it has.”

This is where letters addressed to Vampire Weekend go

My local Ralph's rearranged their store layout and yes I do consider this a Shakespearean betrayal

This is such a good video, very excited to listen to this album in full