minion is short for mini onion, and I'll be damned if I pay to watch a movie about pearl onions when shallot cinema is still so unappreciated

"better burger, idiots"

I have resting Edvard Munch's "The Scream" face

THE ACKROOMS

issuing a big ol' mea culpa, in retrospect I should have realized that david "the slick Nazi who also rapes" cramberry was not a good guy, my bad everyone. he was very slick though.

paul saimin

COMPARISON OF COCOA-BASED SPREADS: A LITERATURE REVIEW S. Bhattacharjee¹, H. Williams²³, A. Xie⁴, F. Mebarek-Stroud⁵ ABSTRACT Nutella and chocolate are the exact same thing. METHODOLOGY Look at them. That is one thing.

Fallout: Lou Begas

it's cheese thirty

pronouncing Ice-T as iced

I hate that dads have a monopoly on loud sneezing. I sneeze loud as hell and none of my kids will ever call me dad.

Your dog hates fireworks. My dog is chasing me with a roman candle because she celebrates liberty

Jazz is all about the notes you don't play, I say sitting in complete silence.

unsweetened hard iced tea

Popping a couple hot pockets in the Mike Roe v Wade

(first day as a tattoo artist) oops. whoops. oops

i’m sorry but farming is cheating. you didn’t scavenge those cucumbers, you grew them in your field on purpose and “found” them later. and that’s bullshit

Have you or someone you know suffered from falling in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with? Call the Law Offices of Buzzcock & Buzzcock.

Bill Paxton never says this in Twister

Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects

sexiest piece of clothing? cummerbund, and not why you think you sickos

Brutal Trailcams

11. Raytheon engineer Percy Spencer noticed that a chocolate bar had unexpectedly melted in his pocket in 1945 while at work, and this observation led directly to the development of what now-common apparatus? A SIGN THAT SAYS "NO FOOD BEYOND THIS POINT" #LL109 #bestwronganswers

Deltron 30 Under 30

Exit light Enter night Take my hand Morocco beat the Netherlands

nothing tastes as good as eating something delicious feels

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

The icecapades are impressive, but are weak to the firecapades and fightcapades

do you wanna tell math-based ghost-stories, or is the poor little baby 2²

The real problem with this elite Culvers discourse is that there aren't any Culvers in Los Angeles so that I can decide if it truly is elite at grifting

if you die in a movie, you shouldn't be allowed to be in other movies. Sean Bean's whole career is an affront to god

I don't like Baz Luhrmann or plantar fasciitis

this is where I get shit on for not realizing they had an aperitif in the movie

imagining a grizzled hardboiled detective saying this while gripping some guy's lapels at a shady bar

biznuss man with a biznuss plan. step 1: biznuss step 2: plan

Without saying the title, spoil a movie The paint continues to dry for several hours

"An Indiana University instructor who showed a graphic in class that listed the “Make America Great Again” slogan as covert white supremacy has lost her job." www.nytimes.com/2026/06/17/u...

"It can be an overwhelming experience when the external sound processor is first turned on. It's a lot for her brain to acclimate to. That's why I'm going to start off with 'Fabienk,' which is kind of a good gateway song if you’re just getting into these guys."

FUCK

marijuana pot weed devil's lettuce satan's kale beelzebub's spring mix whatever you call it, it tastes awful as a salad