What To Know About ‘Sinners’ theonion.com/what-to...

Nation’s Women Fantasize About Some Future Election That Isn’t Absolutely Pivotal To Their Well-Being theonion.com/nation-s-wom...

this is incredible https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UIzsPIrZdc

A friend of mine lived out of an RV for several months. He was traveling the country with his wife and dog.

My friend gave me this mug…

Gen X kids had a lot of adult responsibilities. We even were in charge of keeping New York from running out of water.

No matter what happens, Republicans will be more trusted on the economy, because Americans are brainwashed into thinking the economy suffers when we do good things and benefits from evil. If a politician defunds schools and enables fraud, there's a vague assumption it will "help the economy."

YOU: How did your date go ME: Eh, I think it's going to stay Platonic YOU: Why? ME: Well I said the chicken sounded good, and she said 'when you say "good", do you mean "good" as we say a child is good or a horse is good, or that it contains goodness, or that it promotes goodness through its acti

I was surprised because normally you read an article like this and like ten paragraphs down there's the inevitable reveal that the company was bought by a private equity firm sometime in the last decade. But there's no such paragraph here. No, I had to go to Wikipedia to find that paragraph.

and you call this Yuri on Ice despite the fact it is clearly Yaoi

If you’re ever in New Mexico, make sure you go to Carlsbad Caverns and not Carl’s Bad Caverns because let me tell you, the difference is noticeable

Cat: [jumps onto my lap] Pet me, human. Me: What’s in it for me? Cat: You get to feel like a supervillain.

I am declaring war on 82% of bluesky with this

Din with friends & friends-of-friends. One had just been sorting a late relative’s thousands of books & wondered why some were shelved horizontally. Six voices—people who’d just met—in unison, “Those are the ones they hadn’t read!” Turns out, shelving practices make a surprisingly great icebreaker.

Tag yourself. This year I turned carpal tunnel! www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3gU...

you Bitch & moan about my smoke detector after i already explaioned to you i am too tired to shut it off. how dare you. you are very stupid

Never share a misspelling with a friend with too much time on his hands. 🤦🏻‍♂️

You can always tell it’s October when the witch’s cauldron comes out

I contain multitudes oh wait shit shit shit the multitudes just broke containment I'd start running if I were you

And thus began Kingdom Hearts... #art #kingdomhearts

It’s remarkable how, contra to The Narrative, NYC is significantly safer than basically everywhere

#BlackCatFriday #cats

it’s actually SO important to me that Musk knows about this, I need it like air I definitely want him like destroyed and broke and out of power but I reeeeeeally want him to be humiliated a bunch along the way. I do not think these demands are unreasonable @ God

I like Lower Decks because it embraces that Star Trek is stupid.

My favorite thing about teaching sexual selection in the fall term: If you see wrapping paper or a holiday card with two bright red cardinals on it: you are celebrating gay cardinals. Males have the bright red color. Females are much more of a dull brown with a bit of red/orange at the beak.

An interesting element of this story, which matches my experience with creepy high-value family-owned companies, is the entry-level hazing of newly-employed family members, which exists to convince them that they "worked hard" and "worked their way up" because they worked normally for 3-5 years.

I still can't get over one of the greatest celebrity stories. I tried to read this aloud once and got choked up. 😭 ❤️

Welp, I'm sold

GO GREEN @ECOWARRIORSS via Twitter: "Hell they knew back in 1912."

Become Ungovernable

In Dune, do Mentats have a drinking problem? Because if they're drinking something that stains, why don't they call it a Mentat Moustache? (Which sounds sexual, so... question answered, I guess.)

WAITER: anything to drink ME: i’ll have a coke WAITER & ME AT THE SAME TIME: is pepsi okay ME: jinx you owe me a coke WAITER: but- ME: i don’t make the rules sir

[P] I assume this demo model had no windows or ground clearance in order to hide the twenty Fred Flinstones inside it making it move, and to muffle the “boogity-boogity” noises of their feet.

I saw a YouTube interview with a college professor, and he seemed nice and was cracking a lot of jokes. But they were heavy in 1990s references and early Simpsons quotes and I was like Yikes, your students mostly do not get your references and must think you're ancient. I get you though. 👴🏻

Good morning

Yuuup. Doug is not making this up. Right now, Mexicans who applied for visas in the F3 category (married adult children of U.S. citizens) in August 2000 — during the Clinton administration — have just become eligible to obtain the immigrant visa they were approved for over two decades earlier.

Hot take: everyone compares chapell roan to lady Gaga and while I don’t disagree, I think she shares much more pop culture dna with Cyndi Lauper than Gaga

Nostalgia

It's nice, but it reminds me that forty years have passed for too much of it. 👴🏻 I heard an '80s song the other day and realized it was the equivalent of hearing a Big Band song from the '40s back in the 1980s.

JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX? Oh, you mean A Scar Is Born?

I have a ham and cheese sandwich. The cats are closing in. Closer. I can hear their purrs. One climbs my leg. The other is on the table. A third on the back of my chair. Nearer still. A paw. Two paws. So many paws waving at a single sandwich in a single hand. This may be my final transmission.

The most appropriate of gifs for this revelation!

annual PSA

If they raised the minimum wage, We. Were promised. Robots! 🤖 All we ended up with is sometimes using computers to order or pay, with a human still there to do it for us if we needed it.