omg even my dog doesn’t want to be around me when I’m this sad Total violation of contract if u ask me. Does she have to clean up my shit? No. Does she rub my belly on demand? No. Do I get to eat treats of dessicated liver and dried cod? No. hmmmph

Oh dear everything is so awful my co-workers are offering me their drugs. And I’m accepting them. Tune in tomorrow, when I start protesting ICE in the lobby of a funeral home.

It was the best of times, it clearly wasn’t the now of times.

To cut down on my alcohol intake I’m only going to have half measures in future but to save on the washing up I’m going to have them two at a time in the same glass.

I always keep a good bottle of wine in the fridge for important celebrations like birthdays, new jobs or promotions, baby and engagement announcements, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednes…

Torture to watch ‘Death By Lightning’ knowing the people that have strived to make the world better are so easily gone and here we are under the thumb of a moron and his minions.

Reading the fine print on Brad Karp's "resignation," you will notice that he's staying at Paul Weiss as a partner while merely giving up his chairmanship. So being outed as an Epstein chum is embarrassing, but not THAT embarrassing. Here's the firm's spin job: www.prnewswire.com/news-release...

For a badass, I sure do use the term "samesies" a lot

I guess Mike Johnson missed law school the day they taught all of the laws.

And you’re impeached immediately if u start bulldozing the People’s House

In 2025, China bought 12M tons of US soybeans. Under Biden, it was 26M to 29M tons. Trump’s Phase One bailouts totaled $28B for farmers, plus $12B in 2025. Now Xi is only considering 8M more tons. Art of the deal.

Every single adult in this world has a duty to protect every single child in this world irrespective of race, religion, nationality. If you can't understand this, then you are broken.

Valentine’s Day ain’t nothin but ya ladies extra birthday Tuh

Oklahoma receives $18 billion more in federal funds than it gives with 12.2 percent from California. Nearly half of Oklahoma's government revenue is from federal funding. Just say thank you and be on your way, asshole.

We’re literally killing ourselves. They’ve been working on cutting edge cancer vaccines

Strip Law character reel meet Lincoln Gumb, Sheila Flambe, Irene Gumb and Glem Blorchman you're gonna wanna forget your family's names and memorize those

Google complies with DHS requests. If you haven't back up your stuff off Google somewhere else - you really really should.

The culture of men staying quiet about their buddies' behavior is the culture that facilitates decades of impunity for men who rape children.

Ive watched this about 100 times. This is why the internet was invented. Right here. Peak content.

Reportedly, this campaign succeeded in pushing Becoming to #6 until Netflix suddenly RECATEGORIZED it, inexplicably, as a kids' film, so it won't show in their regular top ten. Fuckers. Fuckery. It wouldn't at all surprise me if the WH leaned on them to do that, because of course they would.

It’s like I always say, Google will sell your ass out in an instant. They’ll turn over your search history, emails, whatever the government wants, whether the request is legal or not.

Just for some background, this is the draft executive order that the crazies in Trumpworld (Flynn, Giuliani, etc.) had ready for Trump in 2020 to seize voting machines. Note the last part, which authorizes criminal proceedings www.politico.com/f/?id=000001... www.politico.com/news/2022/01...

If someone gives me shit I just tell them I have old man strength and I fight dirty

"For much of the 2010s and likely before and since, it appears the crime rate of CBP agents and offices was higher PER CAPITA than the crime rate of undocumented immigrants in the United States." www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/accountabi...

Vive le France, motherfuckers.

Thank you, Catherine O’Hara, for your vivaciously venerable vocabulary. www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/wor...

Personally I don't even want to eat the rich but I look around and understand sacrifices must be made

JFC how is it even possible this thread is so horribly long 🤬

GUY ABOUT TO NAME THE CASHEW: *sneezes*

Look for the helpers. But also look for the goons pepper spraying the helpers.

In case you were wondering how a failed Australian politician who ran on a platform of euthanizing the nation’s pigeons…letting that sink in for a sec…became Trump’s nominee to be the US Ambassador to Malaysia, this thread is for you.

Of all the things in the history of the world that definitely did not happen - this is the pinnacle.

Imagine this is the time and we are the generation that derails the fascist agenda before it annihilates us all. Imagine yourself a part of the critical mass of communities that could and does take power back from these death mongering institutions.

Making all my phone calls from the bathroom now to sound more presidential

“Criminality is so rampant inside CBP that it has seen one of its own agents or officers arrested every 24 to 36 hours since 2005.”

"standing room only" lmaoooo ok sure kaleighlah or whatever the fuck your stupid name is

update: she won

ooh, "One Illinois" is scrubbing positions, names, and photos off their leadership page. Only 3 left now OneIllinois Leadership Team Our Team Reese Hogan Membership Director Ethan Rivera Treasurer Ben McKenzie Vice President

the new combined entity will be called fraudX

the news media should be replaced by these three guys

Whoever named flashbangs probably had a really long day

Someone has just said calmfulness and now I don’t feel very calmful.

i had a dream that i printed 8.5x11 label sheets captioned "i'm sensitive" in 200pt font and affixed them to large trucks all around town.

we were going to build a dog park in our neighborhood. now we might pivot to a bomb shelter

oh wow, more bad

Trump appears in the Epstein files more than he appears in Melania's movie.

my dog has a cleaner mouth than I do and my dog eats shit