Okay. Ready to write my column.

I am going to bed now and when I wake up in the morning, It Will Have Happened, I am sure of it. And I will have an extra large cup of tea and a celebration muffin.

Which is to say, cool. We look really fucking cool.

It’s me, in my data centre.

Look. I get it. Beards had their comeback tour. And now the creepy 70s porno ‘stache. What I wanna know is, when’s JBs rugged three day stubble coming back in style. I been waiting 40 years now.

i’m increasingly surprised by how restful it feels compared to the rest of my screen life

“Hey! That’s not the wallet inspector!”

I'll be ready.

Don’t suppose he’s dead yet?

I don’t care what you say. I’ve been drinking and I’m here to tell yoh people that ‘Betty’ is Taylor Swift’s best song and I am fuckn ready to punch on to prove it

I was in a Westfield today. Bought some stuff. Necked a fantastic Thai lunch. Thought about Angus Taylor calling migrants a net drain on the country. Looked around & thought, without those migrants this place would be fucking dead. Srsly, 80% of the shoppers were the people Hanson wants to deport.

Fantastic, great move. Well done, Angus. open.substack.com/pub/aliensid...

CARTOON OF THE DAY 😕🇺🇸 (From @andertoon.bsky.social )

I pride myself on writing the sort of political analysis you just cant get from the Gallery. open.substack.com/pub/aliensid...

If you receive an email from me praising your writing and offering to mentor you, it’s a scam. If I want money from you, I’ll get it the old fashioned way, by clubbing you unconscious you in a dark alley and going through your pockets for change.

So I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but turns out you totally can nail a coffin shut from the inside. Fastastic. Great move. Well done Angus.

"Everything Trump Touches Dies -- Including the fossil fuel industry" - an optimistic take by @birmo.bsky.social, and we all know we need one. aliensideboob.substack.com/p/everything...

"Thanks for reminding us, sir, that much of the global economy still runs on giant floating bombs crawling through narrow waterways ringed by medieval death cultists, theocratic dictatorships, straight-up pirates and aspirational warlords."

Could really go a cone and a new LEGO vid.

No. We’re not. Which is why we are also the best.

Maybe I could buy an expensive quill! On fiction, non-fiction and handwritten notes.

This one goes out to @birmo.bsky.social

Oh come on, actuarial tables. Just do your fucking job.

Just spent a pleasant Saturday arvo channeling Raymond Chandler for the opening pars of World War 3.4

Mr John Birmingham @birmo.bsky.social is very good this week and you should listen to him. aliensideboob.substack.com/p/why-not-ju...

Just came up with the word 'e-maelstrom' for my inbox. Quite pleased with this.

Just sent off page proofs for The Forever Dead. Felt good. Caught a cheeky little dictation artefact in the epilogue. Fave character wearing a 'wooden' jacket instead of a comfy woollen one.

Re-upped in Crikey! For everyone - @thedeadlynewt.com -who simply can’t come at the idea of following a SUBSTACK link.

I wish these wretched grifters would just stick to crypto scams and leave us to write our silly little stories.

I have a sign up sheet for my post apocalyptic revengers group if anyone is free after the Collapse.

I love this.

‘There are plenty of places you can drive… where you’d be advised to carry some spare jerry cans of petrol… Just as there are hundreds of millions, maybe more than a billion places to recharge an EV because in a pinch you can just plug it into a wall socket like a fucking toaster.’ Bravo!!

My head assploded and harsh words came out after reading the ABCs stupidest ever 730 report on EVs

We are currently on holidays in France. The hotels we're staying at not only have EV chargers in their carparks, but they absorb the cost into the tariff. When we're travelling long distances, we stop for lunch while charging to 80% and be back on our merry way.

You can drive all the way around Australia, criss-cross your any way you like. You will find abundant EV chargers to help you on your way. Have read of one family caravanning with EV SUV. They use solar panels to recharge when camping in isolated areas. Two days tops, and off they go again.

Wouldn't it be great if council removed all the fucking parking meters and replaced them with car chargers. They could raise revenue by charging for the electricity instead. And that was just from my "bath tub think tank". Imagine what we could come up with of we talked to town fucking planners!

This was such hot garbage Imma pull my whole column forward to rag on it tomorrow

@lucyham.bsky.social Hi Lucy I’m just putting this here to remind me to say hello to you tomorrow and ask you for a reading list

Sat down this morning to compose a brief courtesy email to my editor regarding my initial thoughts on the outline for the essay I'm writing on the rise of the Far Right. Four hours later...

Just opened a new bottle of Shiraz for a small splash of red to make my jus. You may not like it but this is what peak masculinity looks like.

Is there some way we could change the regime but keep the LEGO videos?

We all known A*azon tends to sell books bellow list prices, but I've recently found them selling books at below WHOLESALE prices. I know this because I own a store. That's fucked up. Anyways, support your local book stores. Shit's tough.

Ok. I’m not a quilt guy. But I’d make an exception for this

Exactly one year ago today:

Me, a lazy lapsed Catholic turned militant atheist, sniffing with weary contempt at all religious belief: "Oh, you poor, deluded fools..." Also me, watching Pope Leo beef with Trump: BURN THE FILTHY ORANGE IDOLATOR! HE IS MARKED AS OF THE BEAST! FUCK HIM UP, LEO!

Just thought I’d take a moment from writing my zombie story here to share with you the high-quality, organically human-authored typo I just hammered out in my excitement: ‘targeet seleciton’ This is the sort of poetry you lose with generative AI

Life changes. I used to wake up and reach for a news app to see what the orange fuckwit had done overnight. Now I wake up thinking, “Hmm. What have those Iranian LEGO vid guys been up to I wonder “.

Owning the libs by just giving Iran the Strait of Hormuz.