S’funny you know. When you do your black belt grading in any reputable martial art there is always a bit about [insert your martial art] and The Law. These clowns would fail.

And rack up some banger memes

This is a legit point. On the other hand I Very Much Enjoyed putting in that work to take their money off them.

Honestly, God, we don’t need him to die of exploding ass cancer or anything. Just drifting off peacefully mid insane post would be fine. But soon would be best. And five minutes ago, best of all.

77 million people voted for this. And most of them are still good with it.

Is he dead yet!

Some interesting thoughts on the not-a-war on Iran from @birmo.bsky.social’s mate Jason Lambright. aliensideboob.substack.com/p/early-east...

Damn good read, and a sight more helpful than any number of Prime-Ministerial 3-minute waffle sessions.

My friend Jason, an actual war hero rather than the tiny dick cosplay fuckwits racing us towards Armageddon, guests at my column this week. It’s a day early to avoid ruining the chocolate festival.

Hard to tell which is dumber - the questions Albo is getting, or the answers he is giving

Brexit: The Breturn!

As a free speech advocate I’m willing to hear all sides of this argument

Some advice, hopefully helpful, for dealing with the end of the world.

Man, it’s really hard to concentrate on writing my end of the world novel in the middle of this accelerating apocalypse

Fitness friends if you’ve been thinking of dropping a couple of grand on a cold plunge set up… don’t! Anytime you want during winter come around to my place. Slip me a lazy hunnert and I’ll let you jump in to my icy cold hell pool. And if you take a net and scoop out some leaves, I’ll make it 50.

Canavan glaring at the pump, because it won't drop lumps of frozen coal like the converted ice dispenser in his beer fridge. Bridgey, wondering if she should give Angus the atomic wedgie Canavan paid for with a fresh lump of freezer coal. Angus thinking, 'Fantastic, well done. Great job, Angus.'

Yes, everything is proceeding splendidly, and the good times are being widely shared. Say what you will about the psychopath in the Oval Office, he does have a talent for bringing people together around the shared experience of everything falling apart.

I just listened to Al Gore on @thebulwark.com podcast and was surprised how witty and genuinely funny he was. He always had an image as an uptight, stuffed shirt. Maybe he’s changed, but he was one of the most entertaining and engaging listens, I’ve heard on a podcast which regularly serves them up.

What a day. If I didn’t have training tonight, I’d already been drinking.

Just saw diesel break thru three bucks a litre. Can’t believe I didn’t write an end of the world trilogy about this already

Headline of the day...for the moment, anyhow.

Sorry, coach. Can’t work out today. Gym’s busy.

Bludgers

You made history, sir. You kicked over the hornet’s nest. Nobody even talks enough about the murder hornets anymore, they used to and then they stopped, very unfair to the hornets frankly, and now the hornets are very upset, they’re stinging you in a very exposed area. Maybe the most exposed area.

My characters nod like fucking bobbleheads. I always have to edit that shit out.

I was informed by my copyeditor that I used the phrase he (or) she “trailed off” 26 times in this book. Sigh. I need to get more decisive narrators.

Man, there is nothing like grinding through a good, hard copy edit of your manuscript to rub your punkass nose in the fact that you are not as good as you think you are.

1/2. He took the greatest military force in history, lost a war to a middle power in a week, begged the world to save him, & demanded the media lie about this & everything else. I try, but at a simple human level I do not see how anyone mistakes this man’s almost supernatural weakness for strength.

Notice the photo is cropped so you can't see his bone spurs.

The global shipping world is dying and the matter teleportation one is struggling to be born. Now is the time of aqueducts.

I’m not gonna lie to you. This last week’s been a bugger. When I put my hand up for the leadership of the National Party, I did so because I was sitting by the pool of my holiday resort in Saigon, and I wanted another fifty-cent beer...

Alrighty then. Better wrap this research job up if I’m gonna get back home to run the Nats.

Ok I’ll do it. I’ll lead the National Party. My first big policy change? All Nats must now chew a long piece of straw whenever they are in Parliament or on TV.

Could this guy be any more of a fuckwit?

Have a #MapMonday bonus, this is my most recent creation, based off of @birmo.bsky.social's AXIS OF TIME: RELOADED SERIES, where a fleet of modern warships from 2021 get sent back in time to 1942, inadvertently triggering WWIII in 1954.

Oh no. May have researched too many cocktails

In the future everyone will be cancelled for fifteen minutes

I arrived in Ho Chi Minh to research cocktails because the spies in my trashy spy romance novels drink A LOT of cocktails.

Back in Fai, my fave bar in Hue and they are kicking out the disco classics. YMCA. Do stop til you get enough. Disco Inferno. And man, I hated that shit when I was young but I now miss the joy and energy and most of all the optimism. It was a way better timeline than this moron fascist hellscape.

Just read and enjoyed a piece including, oddly, a couple of typos. The sort you don’t get in AI slop. It made me think of an email I had yesterday from a reader about typos and missing words in my last two books. Initially mortified, I’m now thinking of leaving them in as organic proof marks.

Walking around Hue. Just got invited to a wedding.

Even though it’s for work, I do so enjoy walking around a city I don’t know - in this case Hue in Vietnam, but it does make me sad to think about all of the cities we’ve previously bombed and shot the shit out of (inc Hue) and all of the cities America is doing that too right now.

Iran’s people were facing a horrible shortage of water before the war began. If we are destroying desalination plants and setting fire to Teheran we are committing unfathomable crimes.

Location scouting (and having a drink) at Fai, a wine bar in Hue. It’s lovely but it feels like I’m the only one here for a drink. Everybody else is an Instagrammer. There should be more drinkers (and writers) here.

I’m watching Stargate SG1 again because it makes me feel better.

If you were a literary writer of a certain bent, the last empress of Vietnam would be a kick arse subject for a novel. (Unfortunately, that ain’t me).

FFS Albo…

Got a sick feeling that Trump and his moron court have fucked this up so badly they’re gonna get to a place where they think the only way out is using a nuclear weapon.