When the Rapture won't come to you, you make your own fun

Everything been fucked up since y'all stood them brooms up in y'all pagan kitchens

I've decided to start illustrating again, but only on this stupid sketch app for my phone

Do they mean acetaminophen?! Or just the brand name?!? Can whomever owns Tylenol the brand hold a better press conference tomorrow? From like, Disneyland?!?!?

Help us, Fox news!

If you are GC/Transphobic... get to f*ck off our timeline. Solidarity with Trans siblings! Cartoon by East Coast it Notes.

From East Coast It Notes

ABC is something like 15% of Nexstar's portfolio. It's 21% of Sinclair's stations. But some affiliates air Sinclair newscasts, even if the station's license is owned by someone else. This has been a problem for 20 years. Local advertisers need to pull their money from local news stations.

Have I Got News for You US: #fcc #jimmykimmel #magasnowflakes

(Jonathan Frakes voice) None of my characters consent because they're imaginary. Theyre fake. Drawings. Not real.

Happy Birthday, Bill Murray. Learn to keep your hands to yourself maybe

Happy September 21st to those that celebrate!!! 😃 💃🏾🕺🏾

Hoping to become the sabermetrics of comedy

"One of mucus, Two of peptic, Three of Motrin" - Potion of GERD

"Was the left wrong to call out Ellen's classism?" No. What's next. Anyone got more crab videos?

Love crabs? Get a Crab facts (or eel facts or frog facts) advent calendar here! Squidfacts.net They fund my science education nonprofit @skypeascientist.bsky.social!

Here's the green onion that grew out of all those seeds I planted and forgot about three or four years ago. The mega scallion

We're 10 years into the anti trans panic, any rhetorical approach that doesn't start with "conservatives are lying to you about this, any concerns you may have about trans integration have already been addressed decades ago and if you believe otherwise you've been lied to" is actively harmful

Time to wake up and fight God's stupidest battles against His dumbest soldiers

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

Today in "Things I Learned From Wikipedia": The actor who played Dr. McCoy's father in Star Trek V was actually the father of Bob Newhart's wife.

February 1962.

This week I learned that the big spiders what hide in our kitchen and shower drains are a) not the same spider with a commute b) able to play dead, and now they're fucking with me I am fine with all of this, I don't need friends 🕸️

wife: why is your new body wash half gone already? me: (eyes go wide) oh you haven’t tasted it; you gotta taste it

Happy Friday!

✨🌈🐈‍⬛

"Computer, generate a funny photo of 'Hans, are we the baddies?' but it's Ted Cruz's face." "Grandma, that's not how this works." "Grandma can't hear you with that face mask on, Computer."

Some light anti-racist reading and/or listening for the weekend:

This post is for 🚀 REAL 🤘 AMERICANS 🇺🇸 ONLY 🫡 why do they make it so hard to find the manwich at the krogers

Seeing "You have nothing scheduled" on the calendar and it's Friday

I say this as someone who grew up in Hockeytown: it's like the fourth or fifth most popular sport if motorsports and college sports are ranked. No one is concerned about getting hockey just right, I've read a few awful straight hockey romances (from the library!!! a place children exist in!!!)

There is really not a time when I would trust a white woman I don't know over a black woman I don't know. Ever. EVER.

Hey y'all if you're looking for something to do on a Monday night there's a memorial ride for that one dead dude, we're all gonna light candles at the local Harley Davidson retailer

Why don't you go ask ChatGPT when your father will come back

Extremely proud of Liberty University for getting the likeness of his double chin exactly correct

Just had to check a commenter on my neighbor's FB profile who thinks I shouldn't be allowed to live. Thankfully he lives 30 miles away. How's it going, straights, do you have to geo-locate the fascists near you, or do you sleep at night?

volunteering to run a program or help out a community org in your neighborhood or town is the best way to meet interesting people as an adult and have interesting conversations. it's annoying to read someone say this, but unfortunately it's true. also it's free. why not give it a shot

The Trump administration is suing lesbians for being at a seafood bar Jabberwocky-assed intellect

Congrats to Bari Weiss for becoming the Diddy of Fuddy-duddies

I will never forget how Rosa Parks was zoned out on the bus ride home, thinking about how Emmett Till's killers had just walked free, and the same white bus driver that had been harassing her for 10 years tried to get her to give up her seat. "The only tired I was, was tired of giving in."

I regret to inform people that during Black Lives Matter protests I had to advise several white people not to "dress up" "like Black Panthers."

This won't happen unless the guilds do something other than write a stern letter. SAMWISE, LET'S GOOOOO

Spooky Season under fascism

"We won't have elections" "Not enough people are protesting" "This is because of transes" OK, NARCS We're busy trying to hold it all together now, No Avatar Narcs, sorry you haven't been here for it until now Seems very robot snitchy of you

In North Carolina right now the Democrat running for Senate - in a state Trump won *three times* (I hate it too) - is leading by 6-8 points. 'Oh, but they'll cancel elections' - then force them to cancel elections and radicalize the normies and then march with the radicalized normies.

They should actually screen The Candidate nonstop until the fascists are gone

I think my absolutely favorite bullshit-assed thing in the legal system is "Service by Publication." The publication always seems to be a literal newspaper. You know how often you're just browsing the paper and see a public notice with your name? Happens every day

I'm glad you're wearing that lapel pin that says your momma's special lil' boy, we none of us would have had reason to overlook your tantrum otherwise, sir

"It's past time to stop holding onto the idea that there will be free and fair elections." Hi! *chin hands* Are you that Reply Guy that wants to tell people they should temper their shock and anguish with your recently received "Very Smart Person (Not Sarcastic)" award? Go soak your head