I have never come back to work “re-energized.” My brain is Jaffe Joffer, who once said, “MY SON WORKS?”

No. Someone’s political views are what they would do if they had power. It’s not an abstract thing.

Are these not the globalists we were warned about?

America ‘captured’ Maduro the same way their ancestors ‘discovered’ the New World.

The original doomscrolling

Back in my day we had to endure Larry Biel talking about erectile dysfunction.

11 day road trip around Florida, 2600 miles of driving. I’ve never been this brand of tired.

Ok, so…

The old versions of what were good brands >>>

/Marco Rubio shows up “I thought we were shooting protesters together?”

Can’t wait to use this

You’re getting good at it. Just push through.

Accusations tend to be silent admissions.

Happy New Year to the wonderful people that live in my phone.

Movie star trait

Tuning into the Don Lemon Party

Love a dramatic bathroom

Republicans are Derrick Rose.

“I think you’d like me if you met me and that’s more important than the truth.”

My contribution to tonight’s dinner is Cuban white rice and PR-style stewed pink beans. Otherwise there’s lechon, salad, mac and cheese, and corn souffle.

Every complaint is them getting ready to do whatever it is, themselves.

Lowest common denominator everything

Sounds racist

Giving off big “disgraced state representative” photo evidence

Billionaires, being predictable, unoriginal, and worried about appearances turned St. Barth into their Myrtle Beach.

I genuinely believe he has VIP tickets to his own house, which includes: -Cured meats and greet with the Wegman’s deli staff -Arsenio Hall brand “good-ass cheese” tray -Unlimited mini lobster rolls -Beyonce karaoke

Your brother is a killer and he touched his arm. Girls were laughing at you like, “he has a machete Shabar” LMAOOOOOO 😂😂

Kim Roney is the parish priest at St Susan Collins Our Lady of Perpetual Disappointment.

MTV had their shot more than once and doubled down on bullshit. Videos get hundreds of millions to billions of views just on YT and MTV goes out like Blockbuster.

Bucs fans really don’t have a legit rivalry besides the Jaguars which is mostly about whose fans wear the most jorts and high top Team Jordans.

Steve Irwin / Stefan Ir’win

Ready to assassinate someone on the 17th hole.

I used the urinal next to Jeremy Shockey at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club in New Orleans.

I recognized Rafer Alston in the mall and we silently did the “what’s up” chin raise in passing.

Seacrest is human AI. There’s nothing to him. Just blandest average.

Fighting, cussing, hooting, and hollering women.

Objectively hilarious. 80% of the time, it works every time.

Ni hao ni hao

He looks like he was reincarnated just to tie a damsel to train tracks.

This the sexual version of going to wipe, the TP being empty, and no rolls being nearby.

Kitchen. Manager. Herpes. Mouth.

The front seat of my grandfather’s Buick was a bench seat and the whole thing slid back and forth.

Nothing wrong with some seasoning

Some photos from Day 1 in the Keys

Can I tell you about another great man with holes in his hands?