I know MBS's death squad is going to use Mr Beast's Saudi theme park for things

I know my workday is in the home stretch when y’all start skeeting your stories.

Sounds like what Big Sandals would call “the least of us,”

Kevin O'Leary is not an American, but he cosplays as one. He believes himself to be very important, inspired by fellow tv-based idiot Donald Trump. Kevin has Canadian, Irish, and UAE citizenship. The latter makes me ultra-suspicious of what he's up to off camera.

a “wing” is only half the actual wing. we are being ROBBED. give me the flat and drum still connected!!!!!

We still obstruct 'til the sun come up Racketeer when the Sun go down

Delta has been growing the number of First and One class seats while reducing the overal number of flights.

"You'd be prettier if you smiled" as a corporate policy? Something that could only come from a meeting and be approved by people who never work in a store.

No shade, but Biggie sounded like he had woke apnea during "Crush on You."

We need a reframe of the 'government shutdown.' The government is operational, but decimated. Trump is trying to replace the operations of government with himself as he has the concept of a federal triumvirate. The "us" he referred to yesterday is really "me" re: a Novo Nordisk stake.

@nicmiller.bsky.social I've got a 48 hour trip to New Orleans a couple of months from now. One dinner will be at Toups'. Where have you eaten within 20 minutes of the Quarter that I should try to get to?

We've seen the ads! Kevin will say anything on anybody's behalf.

You hang up the babies by their clothes on the stall's purse hook.

This is my internal dialogue at Costco

He's not saying this because he's nervous, he's saying it because it validates to his audience that they're doing what's necessary, even if it's illegal. That they're would-be martyrs, but only if they fuck up and 'let' Democrats win.

Apple AirTags 4 pack is $29 on the Apple Store app. It says free engraving, but adding that reverts it to the regular price of $99.

People in gas cars parking at the charging station! People with electric cars at the charging station, but aren't charging!

People who rush to turn in front of you when there's no one behind you.

Man. These were classroom incense.

Looking forward to reading this.

When billionaires had the decency to go broke.

You’d have been out 10 seconds into voir dire. “Sir, a quick scan of social media shows you’re overwhelmingly pro sandwich and biased.”

I don’t how the evangelicals have left him alone

FDR would've felt incredibly vindicated by all of this. A core proposition of the New Deal was that the country's ruling class was incapable — at best — of defending the Constitution, and that it was up to a dissident vanguard of intellectuals, in conjunction with workers and farmers, to do it.

Me and my homies using a 6 foot party sub as a siege weapon.

Pan con bistec encebollada

My neck hurts and I'm ready to nupe it with Nuprin.

There is no way at all they've even thought of a system for it. Let alone have the tools to manage it. Just a clusterfuck that will spread like wildfire.

I'm having asparagus tonight and I'll be reminded of it first thing tomorrow morning.

Turn the radio down, I'm trying to parallel park.

Team Kendu's 2025 1st round draft pick

No one: 8th century Saxons:

Erika Kirk allegedly caught slicing above her eyebrow before Hell in a Cell match.

Let me go ahead and disprove this at once: twins.

Trump was probably angry that he couldn't just walk out either.

When you definitely weren't the person who gave them drugs. Look at RFK's eyes right before it happens. Seems like he's on another planet.

"YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP FOR COURT!" "But I haven't worn that suit in 40 years."

"YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP FOR COURT!" "But I haven't worn that suit in 40 years."

HEYYYYY MR KOT-TER!!

The Clean Air Act!

This is the 1960s "White guy playing an Indian in a Western" wig.

Conservative feminism is either "old school patriarchy, but yeah, why wouldn't they like it" or this

Last time before the last time we had someone of staggeringly low intelligence in the White House.

300 bigoted NY crybabies is the new Trump voter in a diner.

Who’s getting it up after 40 consecutive failed parlays?

White Dana is about to angrily feign ignorance

“Now, it’s one of the raddest.”

This, the replica crown in South Korea…it’s all in service of his ego and ensuring he doesn’t steal anything. Like giving a toddler a gift at their older sibling’s birthday party.

Wyclef sang about this exact same assumption and meant to dispel it in “Perfect Gentleman”

Where’s that energy for the unchecked state police under your purview?