“Cant sleep… i’ll just have a quick look at my phone”

"Listen, forget it," said Ford, "forget all of it. Nothing matters. Look, it's a beautiful day, enjoy. it. The sun, the green of the hills, the river down in the valley, the burning trees."

More like Trump's BORED of Peace ammirite? Am... ammirite...?

Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it

TRUMP: honk honk honk, I'm a big goose. everyone tells me whenever I enter a room, that's the biggest goose I've ever seen and I say yes. I'm a big goose. in a good way. a lot of Somalians are small stupid gooses but I'm a big goose BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy

Awful day yesterday. So first, all these assholes get on the wrong bus

Went to check out Brooklyn Beckham's insta stories and got distracted by his abominable Carbonara and depressed dog.

I once saw Tom Baker on Oxford St loudly proclaiming to someone "Then I said, well Sebastian's a wanker". Happy Birthday Tom

A real shame if this photo went viral again today.

The rest of the world reading Trump's Norway letter...

Beyond the fact that this bugfuck insane letter was written and sent to the leader of Norway, the State Dept agreeing to distribute it to other heads of state instead of objecting and honorably resigning or at the very least planning some kind of coverup is a sign of deep institutional collapse.

cool name why’s it called that

The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy (19th January 1981). The Heart of Gold has arrived at the legendary planet of Magrathea.

I do not understand why this doesn’t happen already. It’s bizarre.

British Bluesky problems: seeing posts from the US about Jonathan Ross and repeatedly double-taking

Nuanced take: I think it's really important to give *normal citizens* who supported Trump and off-ramp and *professional writers, pundits and politicians* who supported Trump should have to wear it like a scarlet letter for the rest of their lives

Friedrich Nietzsche, 1875.

I don’t care if it’s a politician, an advert or even a bloody greeting card, I never want to hear or see the phrase “Make [Noun] [Adjective] Again” for the rest of my life.

Last night I met a guy who said everyone in his office uses ChatGPT "because you just type in two lines and it generates a whole email for you!" And I *very correctly* replied that "no one wants that 'whole email' they just want the two lines - and they all hate you"

"I have a lot of internal rage" quote of the series from Cyclone #Gladiators

The biggest giveaway that Stephen is a traitor is that he saved his ABBA Arrival orange-panelled jumpsuit for so late in the series. Anyone frightened of murder or banishment would have worn that wonder on day two. Can’t believe nobody in the castle has clocked this. #Traitors

When you're having a sleepover and your mum comes in #thetraitors #thetraitorsUK

a cataclysmic day for algebra

Can we stop saying he wants to "acquire Greenland" - he wants to INVADE it

don't look suspicious don't look suspicious don't looooook suspicious don't looooook suspicious #thetraitors

The Traitors to Matt #TheTraitors

Harriet's detective work #TheTraitors

You ever watched the feature film Fame? It’s 87 minutes long. Andy Warhol was talking SHITE

I feel obliged to share this masterpiece from my brother:

Politicians: don't use AI to make your maps.

Politicians are calling for a senior police officer to be sacked BECAUSE WEST MIDLANDS POLICE USED MICROSOFT CO-PILOT, WHICH WE'RE ALL BEING TOLD IS GREAT AND THE FUTURE. The same politicians who are gung-ho and balls deep for piping hot AI. There's your fucking story.

The interviewer in question

Woah, get a load of that DILF! a dad I'd like to... forgive (son embraces father for the first time in 20 years, everyone in family therapy bursts into applause)

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'

This bit made me lol.

"HELP IS ON THE WAY" screams the TV repairman down the phone at me, as he smashes his own TV repeatedly with a hammer

I told you I was illbert

the entire population of England in 1086 will return in... Avengers Domesday

Was Mrs Doubtfire on the TV recently by any chance?

"I would like to interrupt this council meeting with an anecdote about the time I confronted a caricaturist in Leicester Square about the quality of his portrait of The Jackson Five" "Sorry but I don't see how that's germane" "That's EXACTLY what I said"

"if stranger things uses chat gpt, then why shouldn't i??" counterpoint: stranger things didn't start out using it, and pretty much everybody who's still watching it is only doing so out of some kind of torturous compulsion to set it, and everybody involved with it, including themselves, free 👍

People who assume that every convincingly naturalistic moment in a movie or TV show must have been because the actors went off script shall have their place in the lake of fire.

We're not supposed to know what goes on at the bottom of the ocean. I saw this thing that looked like a carrier bag full of eyes holding an umbrella. That's nobody's business

There is always an XKCD

wow it's really lucky no Sun or TPA staffers ever accept cabs when they appear on the BBC because otherwise this would look like a pretty embarrassing bit of hypocrisy

BIG FIGHT AT POLAND’S WROCLAW ZOO!!!