Why do they look like shoggoths?

“What are you going to do, excommunicate me?” - Bishop excommunicated

Like every patriotic American, I am celebrating the Confederate defeat at Gettysburg and the Union victory at Vicksburg this weekend, which just happen to line up with the days (July 3 & 4) that the Declaration of Independence was published and widely distributed. That’s why we celebrate, right?

(on a date with a guy who might be a termite) date: i’ll have the house salad

No better testament to the virtues of a liberal arts education

love this picture of the Minnesota soldier who captured the flag posing with it. Somehow looks like a guy’s dating profile pic even though it was taken in 1864

I swear, "a pope from Chicago excommunicates a Nazi-adjacent sect" is like a cut scene from The Blues Brothers

Mamdani is a much better mayor and person that he was but sometimes there's a NYC story that comes up where I can't help but want to see the unhinged way Eric Adams would've handled it.

all of you should feel shame for being emotionally invested in soccer, george washington did not plow his dodge challenger into the british lines for this

Being formally thrown out of the Catholic Church doesn't seem like it's a crisis for the guy doing the throwing out. Odd framing choice!

Trump: It's not working! Why don't they love the fair? How do I make the crowds cheer? Oracle of DC: If you test your strength against the heat with a very long speech, the nation will celebrate harder than they ever have. They will party in the streets. No one will ever forget the night.

NYC currently has a shark problem DC currently has a jets problem there's only one solution

"So, we evoked a demon that can sit between you and all objective knowledge, and it's really useful but you can never quite trust it. And then we made it paranoid it might have it's own demons intermediating access to objective truth." Descartes: "mon ami, I am too fucking high for zis"

Its been over a month and I'm still thinking about this

My posts most days. I'm sorry.

gumby was always saying this

Casting for the adaptation of the webcomic Dust & Dread has been announced (Source: tinyurl.com/mtrw7eyv)

@realinfowars.bsky.social @theonion.com I stand with the Infowars elf.

I feel like you shouldn’t have to wait a month to find out if they are hiding the fact that an elected official is in a vegetative state

Happy BAYONETS!! Day to all who celebrate.

Bluesky is both the sports app and the Catholic schism app, everything you’d need in one place

For the next few days, every morning someone in America is waking up with ten fingers for the last time and doesn't know it.

Your reminder that Joshua Chamberlain thought it was a moral imperative to fight the Confederacy but he didn't have any background as an Army officer, so he was like, "Hmm, I should study Casey's Infantry Tactics and Duparcq's Elements of Military Art and History", and that's how he beat Longstreet.

"I fear, this war, so costly of blood and treasure, will not cease until men of the North are willing to leave good positions, and sacrifice the dearest personal interests, to rescue our country from desolation, and defend the national existence against treachery." Feels relevant.

An image I drew for the "Contact" section of my website.

where we go to discuss all of your flopped posts

EarthBound (SNES, 1995)

But most importantly, there were delinquent bird stickers to collect. They unlocked nothing and were just there for the pure delight of finding them.

I say "computer, end program" out loud once a day, just to be safe

Today’s thought. Bicarbonate of Dada. Do with that what you will.

Kira Nerys commish #startrek #DS9

dreamed I’d made a T-shirt which was getting great reviews from T-shirt critics and really ‘doing numbers’. People were saying it was a cultural touchstone, a commentary on the time we live in but I hadn’t actually seen it. The dream ended when I finally saw it and woke myself up laughing.

"Planning a national, multi-week event is a huge undertaking. It requires planning and execution. It is hard work. And what visiting the Great American State Fair reminds you of is that our current government just doesn’t do the hard work any longer."

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░ 50.01%

Don't let the chips kill you

People : oh wow they ordained those illegal bishops i wonder what the pope might d- Pope : EXCOMMUNICATE DAY WOO People : u didnt let me fin- Pope : I DIDNT STUTTER JIMMY

Foreshadowing is a narrative device in which suggestions or warnings about events to come are dropped or planted

Mamdani is trying to prevent New York’s power grid from failing, you idiot. 78° by choice is a lot better than 100° without electricity.

Fantastic story here. Go give it a read!

Want to read the story I unexpectedly sold the other day? Lucky for you, it's FREE in the latest issue of The Dark! www.thedarkmagazine.com/please-turn-...

Shipping companies say the Strait of Hormuz is closed. A guy who shits himself in public and thinks people should drink bleach says it is open. For busy American motorists, it can be hard to know who to trust.

Don't quote me on the name. Anyhow Pope Andrew the First or whatever his name is presided, or tried to, his part of SSPX from his mother's basement when he wasn't working in her thrift shop. This concludes the ecumenical portion of my day. Gonna go & lift before the heat index gets worse. 2 & end/

At one point the Society of Pope Pius the X (SSPX) had it's own internalish schism in Kansas. This included a young member of the SSPX doing his own research, determining there had not been a legit pope in several centuries, convening a synod, & having himself declared pope. IIRC his name is Andy.1/

The last time New Brunswick reached 100 before noon was July 6, 2010, when the station topped out at 105. In its 18 year history, this is the first time Jersey City it has reached 100 by noon!

Blazing hot conditions prevail across The Garden State today. Two NJWxNet stations have already reached 100 before noon, with those being New Brunswick and Jersey City.

y'know... when they attempted to assassinate Gabby Giffords in public, there were public statements about her injuries and her prognosis while she was on the fucking operating table. Within a week, the GOP was pushing for a special election to replace her. Anyone seen Mitch McConnell lately?

this video from the bbc about texas bbq is frying me

At this point I am begging literally everyone I know to come eat the plums that are in the icebox this thing is 110% plums by volume it’s plums all the way down when I open it plums fall out in a little cartoon cascade I am drowning in a sea of plums I see them in my dreams and