caves of qud

Produce misters over plastic-wrapped vegetables is like a background gag in a dystopian comedy about the fall of the empire

caves of qud

if an adult plays the trombone in the peanuts universe it sounds like words

nothing will radicalise you faster than taking one of the city bus routes that goes through the (bus-only) busway and getting to where you need to be in 5 minutes without having to do fucking ANYTHING to get there

bro everyone is kinda pissed about how much you took from the horn of plenty

Me: How do I *feel*? Crippled by sorrow. Imprisoned in my own consciousness. Like a man with no parachute in a burning plane Dr: I meant your ankle

"Agree to disagree" no no no, one of us will perish

celebrity who takes one for the team and insider trades a polymarket bet of their own death

not sure why people have such a hard time abandoning problematic creators. I already hate half the shit I like

Women will swear they aren’t red-tailed hawks and then text “bring voles” at 3:00AM

Caves of Q.. wait what

People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree.

Hang on, I gotta take this

You're right, shooting you with a gun goes against the explicit instructions defined in my system prompt. I should have explored other options before deciding to use a gun to shoot you. "Don't shoot me with a gun" is rule number one in my operating instructions. I made a mistake, and that's on me.

Let's be honest, chips and queso couldn't fix me. You can't just pour cheese on this.

(Leading him to the Sphinx) Yeah, it’s like a trivia night

the feeling of being the best at something isn't bright and cheery hope and confidence its being filled with the dark and limitless tree of untraveled paths having achieved only the barest glimpse of possibility after attempting and failing to do something for decades of your life

the scientology building 100% run has never been tried. that ends today

caves of qud

The year is 20XX You are a STRAIT RUNNER, brave tanker ship captains racing through The Blockade Swap your ship’s Shield Polarity to block shots of the matching color. Iranian ships launch Blue Missiles and American ships fire Red Missiles

caves of qud

"One guard lies, one tells the truth, one requires you to accept all cookies, even those used for marketing purposes. "Heed, though, my warning: some labyrinth functionality may not work without saying yes to the third guard"

caves of qud

75yo neocon columnist: This YouTuber Says Capitalism Is Not “On Fleek”, But Is He Mogging Democrats’ Midterm Chances? 38 year old fellow at the Institute for Ethical Euthenasia of the Homeless: this is the most important thing youll read this year. if youre not scared youre not paying attention

I work well under pressure. I work even better when everyone's just super nice to me and relaxed

Things get real bad I'll eat the beans outta my beanbag chair

everything I say is an artfully veiled sarcasm, a joke of such sophistication that anyone who falls into my meticulous trap of belief immediately reveals themselves a boorish rube of the highest caliber. whereas everything you say is an honest admission, a disgusting truth borne of an ugly soul

If you're happy and you know it, just relax and enjoy. I'm not going to give you a chore

it’s fun when multiple cat pfps like the same posts bc my notifications look like one cat saw it and shared it with their cat friends

It's so cool how correlation equals causation

Idea for a fancy restaurant: after they serve your food they offer to take a photo of it for you with your smartphone

@unormal.bsky.social I need to hear your thoughts about Slay the Spire 2 being Mixed on steam because they made a balance change that made people angry LMAO

Me when the Lord giveth: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me when the Lord taketh away: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

caves of qud

“your body is a temple” wrong. my body is a traveling carnival and it’s only here for a limited time

Let's make a pact to chill for now but if this ancient evil is still here in 20 years, we will work on it.

I refuse to turn into my father. My father should turn into me.

she dill on my pickle til I brine

It’s just a joke dude. It doesn’t mean anything. Information has no coherent structure . Ideas don’t touch reality

been wondering if fish even know they’re in a tank long enough that i’m starting to look at the walls of my house differently

I fell for a psyop I saw on TV that convinced me to eat a cheeseburger

if i was pontous pilate i would have just spawn trapped him at the cave

damn, got ‘em

Just another industry lost to AI. Can't even get good old fashioned handmade gnawing darkness of the soul these days.

the increasing incidences of AI psychosis are particularly disturbing given you’re supposed to be driven insane by the rumblings of your own infernal machine, not somebody else’s

you know what's kinda funny is youtube keeps showing me joja mart videos because i clicked on one like two weeks ago and it's like. are they alt right funneling me in the context of stardew valley