i think when a class action lawsuit is successful they should just distribute 1/5 of the proceeds to 5 class members instead of sending every class member $1.27 and one free year of credit monitoring services. everything's gambling now anyway so might as well lean in, seems like a fun way to do it

i can tell from your pants that your tech tree is all messed up

the success of Backrooms means Hollywood now has no excuse but cowardice for refusing to produce a Groverhaus movie.

It’s the freakin weekend

i'd rather get a sky burial than this shit, thanks

everyone who said apple memojis were dumb clearly wasn't sending one in this pose to all their friends with messages like “don’t worry I’ll never tell”

new logo for I can't believe it's not butter pulled today after "giving people the creeps" - "what were we thinking?", marketing exec Bill Buttons. "in hindsight the note that it looks like a serial killer should not have been seen as an opportunity with true crime fans"

It's Cancel Subscriptions Thursday, look at your subscriptions and cancel that shit

Only bollards can deliver this much happiness. #WorldBollardAssociation

this is my kind of company motto right here

what if we kissed in the King Kong nipple slide

my James Bond has twelve DUIs and got stuck in the Austin Powers Scenario®

Woman who rescued injured crow keeps getting ‘thank-you gifts’ from other birds #Canada www.ctvnews.ca/vancouver/sa...

It's Friday at lunchtime, baby! You know what that means: Snart Helg!

new strain of covid where you grow a shock wig and red nose and it's the clownavirus

99% of my memes are just bullshit for online friends that nobody else will get but this is maybe my favourite

lmao

Ok this is a truly great tweet

Sex is great, but what about the inescapable allure of the inclined elevator.

Of course I drew the whistling potato. #art #potato

guy who fucks up so much he gets added to the Errorist Watchlist

comin’ out of my cave and i been doin’ just fine

hi, i'm johnny knoxville and welcome to github

Wow some terrible reporting about Google's latest horrible ideas about how to distort information access in the name of "convenience" (or something): techcrunch.com/2026/05/19/g... A short thread 🧵>>

good luck with this one @kennylogins.bsky.social

Do you ever just think about hiw we were told we can't have universal Healthcare because it would make too many people in the insurance industry unemployed, but meanwhile AI is allegedly going to wipe out even more jobs and we're told that's just inevitable? The Luddites were right

Tom of Федерация

Guys. The Ancient Greeks weren't white. They were more like cephalopods than modern humans -- their skin was bioluminescent and constantly shifting its color. And they didn't live in in idyllic seaside villages; they could only survive near deep-ocean vents. They DID have Matt Damon accents, though

If someone offers to show you the inside of their computer and you decline, that's incredibly rude, just FYI

my sister is having a graduation ceremony today and i will now have to act like I'm emotional for normal reasons and not because I read "Sigourney Weaver over Grogu: “Geen poppenspelers” and laughed so hard i cried

it is 1990. i'm 10 years old. i have a breathing tube strapped to my face and i'm watching an 8bit video game while drugs blast me into oblivion. it is 2026. i'm 47 years old. i have a breathing tube strapped to my face and i'm watching an 8bit video game while drugs blast me into oblivion.

sometimes you gotta just sit down to pee because

it is 1990. i'm 10 years old. i have a breathing tube strapped to my face and i'm watching an 8bit video game while drugs blast me into oblivion. it is 2026. i'm 47 years old. i have a breathing tube strapped to my face and i'm watching an 8bit video game while drugs blast me into oblivion.

virgin boston dynamics / chad whatever this is

they put baby yoda in mindcraft

Mother's Day weekend always makes me think of the greatest Onion headline

My favorite mother’s day cartoon from the stupendous @rosemarymosco.com

woah this inflation is out of control amirite?? ha ha anyway i hope you enjoy a text message various Moms because we can't afford grandchildren for ya