mamma mia not my a precious reginos

From this day in 2021: My nephews were curious about Final Fantasy after seeing a Moogle I drew and I described Chocobos as looking "kind of like Big Bird" so then I had to draw it.

Turns out I’m gnoll-coded

Monsters from the original Dungeons and Dragons Book 2 - Monsters and Treasures, and what they get at the gas station.

fine i’ll do it, i’ll be california governor. with me as governor, there will be pizza in every vending machine, potholes filled with billionaires, i’ll bring back transparent tech so you can see all the inside bits

(Version of Robocop where I play the female antagonist Clarice Boddiker) bitches, stay

A lot of people don’t know my wife is woody harrelsons mom from white men cant jump

the molotov cocktail was named after soviet foreign minister vyacheslav molotov, who was best known for exploding into flames when hurled at infrastructure

This infuriating attitude shows up on the bookshelves in learning environments, too. We expect girls to empathize with boys, but we kneecap every opportunity to let boys empathize with girls. And look where we are.

jurassic parking 😏

lmao

aw shit yeah i get to post this again

One of the very best from Clickhole

mods are asleep post camera falling out of plane and landing in a pig pen to be licked by a pig

what do we want? OBJECT PERMANENCE when do we want it? WHEN DO WE WANT WHAT

An under-discussed aspect of Jesus’s life is how he must have aged at a supernatural rate, something like eight years for every calendar month, in order to be a 33 year old man in time for Easter

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

You never see it coming.

they scorn me for an "email job". they mock my RSI injuries from using the keyboard. they dismiss my slide decks as frivolous. but when i finally unveil my triumphant 600 slide powerpoint that operates on the same principles as the euthanasia coaster, we'll see who has the last laugh

Jesus Christ smashing the moneylenders' shit, just busting them up big time, up and down the temple, that's the original carpenter brut imo

WHO ADJUSTED MY WORK CHAIR

Getting big “do not taunt happy copilot” vibes from that link

if you drive your car backwards through the car wash you get to meet the manager

Don’t even talk to me before I’ve had my morning weeabull

Don’t even talk to me before I’ve had my morning weeabull

housing is more expensive now, but also a lot safer. this kind of home was considered cream of the crop in the 1980s

What Canadaland did this week—apparently attempting to identify anonymous Reddit users by capturing their IP addresses—echoes an Ottawa Citizen investigation from more than a decade ago. Though years apart, both raise ethical and legal questions for #cdnmedia. open.substack.com/pub/karynpug...

try it

Meanwhile bike fuel prices have not changed at Costco.

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

i always respected any tv that housed composite inputs on the front of the box. this is known as The People's Input

next time i start a new job i'm asserting alpha status at my welcome lunch buffet by hollering "let's rooock!!!" exaclty like pvt. vasquez from aliens and then double fisting tempura shrimp from a steam tray directly into my face while my stammering, panicked manager tries to talk me down

it's just the latest iteration in the campaign against accountability for the billionaire class "laws shouldn't apply to us" -> "public opinion shouldn't apply to us and cancel culture is evil" -> "we shouldn't even think about whether what we're doing is moral or just"

The cleaners at work put the loo roll on the wrong way around, so I went on Amazon and bought a key for the dispenser and fix it whenever they replace it.

"Palantir CEO Alex Karp says his AI technology will lessen the power of “highly educated, often female voters, who vote mostly Democrat” while increasing the power of working-class men." Just saying it right out loud now. newrepublic.com/post/207693/...

WBAL in Baltimore helping viewers understand the difference between watches and warnings

😔

Look at my lawyer dawg I'm going to jail

I feel like this should be widely available over-the-counter medication / by @mcfadden.bsky.social inthesetimes.com/article/i-we...

Google is spending $185 billion on AI this year alone

in your dying moments you see a Jackie Chan style closing credits blooper reel of all the times you hurt yourself

Just watched the Weiner-mobile pick up someone from the airport