one note parody account devolved into railing abou
@walkingjalopy.bsky.social
📤 1333
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Just a big beautiful adonis sadsacking about
refusing to leave the doctors office until they tell me how powerful my brain is
about 3 hours ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
dave
about 12 hours ago
Did it happen? Yeah, it did. The teacup monkey I ordered from Malaysia in an attempt to go viral has died. I think it just came with a bunch of diseases. It bit me. Unpleasant little creature. It froze to death overnight. My apartment is cold.
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have to fight a dinosaur
about 20 hours ago
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DONALD TRUMP IS DEAD to me
about 21 hours ago
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sorry i lied when i said it was an evil clone that borrowed that money. i was feeling jealous about how much time you were spending with some of my evil clones. anyways it was actually a shapeshifter
2 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
happy holiday
loading . . .
about 1 year ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
timothy faust
2 days ago
An IRL friend of mine's father was kidnapped by ICE and sent to El Paso. I'm looking for help reaching people in or supporting cases at the El Paso ICE facility. Please let me know (DM) if you can help.
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you don't need to be paranoid iff you: - never tell anyone your name - never have a friendship or romantic entanglement - never go to the same place twice in your life - find all your clothes on clothing lines - angle your gun around corners and loose a few rounds before looking
3 days ago
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(throwing balled up shirt on the ground) YOU HAD ONE JOB (turning to crowd gathering around me) Don't look at me like that! I could be you! Or you! I could be any one of you—any of you could be me! (realizing somehow my pants also came off in the struggle) this is a uh prank show. goodbye
3 days ago
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pulling on a shirt or sweater doesn't feel like it should be able to go as wrong as it can and does
3 days ago
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want a switchblade just for emphasis, a rhetorical device
4 days ago
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(surreptitiously eating the detective's dinner while he circumambulates the long table explaining how someone in this room killed the chancellor)
4 days ago
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i plan to never follow a series of cryptic messages to my untimely death
5 days ago
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to the chagrin of many a philosopher, recently discovered documents reveal that the owners of the ship of Theseus may have grossly exaggerated how much had been replaced in order to increase the resale value
6 days ago
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between episodes of my podcast i hunt vampires. that's my idea for a tv show
7 days ago
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I'm wearing a QR code for ordinary reasons
7 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
Jon Bois
8 days ago
jack daniels can be classified as either bourbon or whiskey, since bourbon and whiskey are simply different names for identical products
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hey sorry I can't come out tonight but me and the adobe acrobat ai assistant are getting to the bottom of particle-wave duality
8 days ago
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we need to shrink down to get inside the computer
9 days ago
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inspect all gems thoroughly prior to consumption
10 days ago
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the worst part of living in a small town is having to solve all these murders. the murders are pretty cool though
10 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
Fungocrat
10 days ago
People talk about "laser-focussed". But I'm shooting my lasers all over the place.
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might watch a movie set in italy (filmed in spain, all english dialogue) and spend the next week dressed brightly using a bizarre accent and saying things like, my friend you must learna about the good life, cowbella
11 days ago
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there's very little evidence that I'm a shapeshifter infiltrator
13 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
GNU C Mane
13 days ago
I have mastered the technique of pressing the lever so I almost always get a pellet and rarely shocked
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
done with this year. next
19 days ago
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demons have cracked my chest open and are pulling my organs out and are eating them like apples; otherwise I'd totally get out of bed
14 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
journeyman folklorist
15 days ago
We need to be digging trenches and tunnels
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nothing in my head pays rent. am I supposed to be charging rent? how do you collect this money
15 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
Grobian Syboe
16 days ago
God news guys, your fears have been determined to be well founded and reasonable by the International Worry Council
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how to run a tech blog 1: get the worst typeface 2: get the worst color scheme 3: buddy you're going to need A LOT of animated gifs
16 days ago
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hold still as a series of laser beams cuts you into fine strips
16 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
L Ron Mexico
16 days ago
You never see Predator put a spine back into someone. It really is true that it’s easier to destroy than create.
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hate to pile on but dragons are real and biting people
18 days ago
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done with this year. next
19 days ago
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finally escaping samsara and immediately landing in samsara 2
19 days ago
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nice book, loser. does it even have a colophon or is it ashamed of its typeface selections?
20 days ago
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let's make 2026 the year we finally build a bullet large enough to kill the sun
20 days ago
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people get so mad when I dig up utility lines or graves, as though I am somehow responsible for what fate puts before my shovel
20 days ago
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RT if you awoke to find yourself in a "the most dangerous game" style situation
20 days ago
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start getting used to saying "oh hey it's that robot that runs arround killing people" NOW
21 days ago
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i hate being stabbed. if you're thinking of getting me a present, pick something else!
21 days ago
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hearing exploding. war on christmas escalating
21 days ago
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my understanding is that you can only be arrested for a crime you commit in the same year it was committed
21 days ago
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Due to an unfortunate accounting error, it will remain 2025 until at least March. We will keep you updated as we learn more. Our apologies for any inconvenience. —The Management
21 days ago
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one note parody account devolved into railing abou
patrick
21 days ago
Hey man you objectively have to give me your sandwich. This has nothing to do with me, it’s objective
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{right as the sniper is squeezing the trigger} hey yo we go radio silent yet? i was in the can
22 days ago
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scientists should do something with lasers? or perhaps another beam?
22 days ago
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didn't see this one posted. only internet image I bother to keep on my phone
22 days ago
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trying to do a spin kick at the top of the stairs(the bottom of the stairs is a bomb)
24 days ago
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