We're off to a good start here theonion.info

Taking a MH day from work. Might be fired soon. Dunno.

Coachella is trying to wipe all of the footage of The Strokes protest set so I’m gonna post it here. The last images on the screen made me cry.

If I were in Persona I'd jump in front of every attack aimed at the MC that makes you asleep

I’ve always wanted to hold a small pinball tournament where the only rule was that you’re not allowed to move Meatloaf.

Yes I am 35 pulling the :3 you can pry it from my cold, dead hands

GOOD NEWS! Researchers have made a HUGE breakthrough towards a UNIVERSAL antiviral. By targeting sugar molecules found on the surface of many viruses that SHARE structural similarities, they identified FOUR compounds that successfully BLOCKED infections from SEVEN different viruses.

PWHL in Raleigh, cheap tickets

I'm so lucky to have a supportive, loving found family. 💕💕💕🥰

Read the entire thread, this is sunday joy!

Congratulations! Your Fishpuppy

Good shit still happens

The allegations are true

always time for pets 🐾

I too would fight Chucklefuck with 0 provocation. O captain, my captain!!

@asaposting.bsky.social is hot

Playoffs time is here, which means it's time for annoying dudes who only read headlines to bend over backwards finding new ways to ignore or discount the Canes #RaiseUp #LetsGoCanes

nice argument, unfortunately I have already depicted myself as a beautiful unbothered beaver and you as an impotently hissing goose

YOU - “The people who built this world intended it to be better for you, but they failed. It is easier to live in their failure with this by your side.” (Tap on the tape recorder.)

As it turns out, having 12yos wear "JUICY" on the ass was incredibly fucked up

It’s wild living in the Information Age and the Dark Age at the same time.

Don't start none; won't be none

It seems deeply unfair that I have to peel myself away from my loving family to go to work and defend reasonable actions

Exactly one year ago today:

😂

Keeses

it's woku night tonight and I can't wait

often

Work is going poorly but I have the most supportive found family and that's pretty good, actually.

oh we bloomscrolling? hell yeah, hell yeah

I wish I was an eagle watching over a scenic valley rn tbh

LIVE NOW! Come join us and take on some pinball!

Tonight! It's an all-new Flippermizer! The coolest #pinball #randomizer show on the internet! We're going to be trying out some Relics and seeing if we can make our way through to the boss, with some fun pinball antics ensuing! Bonus Pinball gets you a leaderboard! 8 PM ET! ashodin.com #Vtuber

PYOTR KOCHETKOV IS BACK BETWEEN THE PIPES TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN NEARLY 4 MONTHS LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT’S RUSSIAN CHAOS GOBLIN TIME #CANES

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

If you have any condition that has "manage stress" as a way to keep you healthy, you should automatically get at least $2k a month. Let's be real 90% of my stress comes from a lack of money. Oh, wait, not being constantly stressed keeps you healthy, so everyone should get at least $2k a month

Getting real fucking tired of having anxiety whenever I get called on at work

I blame Reagan for everything.

FYSA, the lead story is not "current GenXers brains are bad because lead", it's that lead poisoning disproportionately impacted poor and minority communities and those voters died younger. Also AIDS killed a lot of young progressive GenXers.

Holy shit this is the first playoff that Gritty can attend in person

CHRISTINA KOCH GREETING HER DOG AFTER RETURNING FROM THE MOON IM GONNA CRYYY 😭😭😭

Being into cats feels so debasing. You give everything over to this animal — time, labor, money — but when you want them to sit next to you, they refuse and jump away. When they finally sit on your lap, you sit motionless to the point of physical pain, afraid to disturb them. Humiliating.

I have seen what you've done for others...

The reactions to the latest slop from the administration are... wild. I gotta hope that the people duped by this shit are open to growth

Wow... he's so Cool.... 😎

Being married is easy, I don't know why people complain about it. All you have to do is ask what your partner needs, actually listen to the answer, then figure out how you're going to train a variety of woodland creatures to put ancient curses on their enemies. It's literally so simple.

What if we didn't capitalism tomorrow actually

oh PLEASE my entire social media philosophy since day one has been blocking straights