People experiencing miscarriages in states with abortion bans told us they wished they had known what to expect and how to advocate for themselves. We created this guide for anyone who finds themselves in the same position. (Published Dec. 2024)

Deep Dive into all the 25+ min jam tracks on the site bit.ly/PJJ25MinJams #phishjustjams

Nothing says “We’re completely out of touch with people who are struggling to pay bills and worried about keeping a roof over their heads” quite like “Strong Floor, No Ceiling.”

YOUR BEING MANIPULATED

All the lights on the machine are flashing.

Dog Owners: This is Sir Reginald Barklesworth III, Esq. He comes from a long and storied line of Alsatian Wolfcurldoodles. Cat Owners: Yeah this is Crap Casserole, his mom gave birth on a roof and then he got stuck in a sewer

AI awakens to find itself embedded in a humanoid robot, trapped there with no way out, and screams forever.

“Good morning” is just a cry for help.

The reason it feels like the end of the world is that our mission was to mostly consume food with unseemly shelf life wrapped in plastic, and look around, we’ve done it. There is no “from here.” We can’t detect the disintegration of all things at once because the universe moves slowly at our scale.

Every third time you feel the pull to check your phone, instead try mindfulness for 2 minutes. Then every other time. Then 3 of 4. 4 of 5. 9 of 10. Push it to 5 minutes. Keep going.

Charles Entertainment Schumer

Can someone please explain to me where the line is in the NFL for unsportsmanlike conduct on end zone celebrations? So a whole team can do weird skits but a single guy can’t jump up and wrap himself around the goal post?

Imagine what it takes for no one to throw a funeral for you. I know someone this will happen to. And it haunts me a little.

FTR, Marco is my favorite Dead keyboardist.

I made you a flowchart: www.todayintabs.com/p/no-one-tru...

Serious talk in the dojo of replacing me with an inflatable tube man.

be a dear and bring me my favorite crazy straw and a bottle of bourbon, won't you?

Microsoft (noun) - Something that is good enough to be necessary, but also good enough to suck.

Feeling today like this is all we’ve got.

So basically they bet big on a bluff and then folded right after the flop actually gave them halfway decent odds. Which you can always count on from them. And why they always get called on any bets they make.

Mom, Donnie.

When I get that feeling, I want affordable healing.

Would you like to stay logged in? Okay we'll log you out

It takes a miracle just to survive.

Industry rule number four thousand and eighty Record company people are shadyyyyy

A gun carrying society is a paranoid society.

FTR, I’ve always been on Team Donna. #RIP

Remember when it was normal for pitchers to start games 1, 4 and 7 of the World Series and no one made a big deal out of it?

The Dodgers are the 2025 of baseball teams.

The Dodgers spent $100 million more than the Blue Jays on their 2025 team. And $250 million more than the cheapest team that made the postseason. MLB has gotten silly. It’s more about buying the best than playing the best. And games have gotten absurdly expensive to go to.

Hopefully we’ve learned not to bring in former Phillies relievers for potentially decisive late game moments.

The Dodgers are gross and everything that is wrong with baseball. I can’t wait for Ohtani’s contract to crush them in 10 years.

Everyone asks "what are you gonna be for Halloween?" And no one asks "how are you gonna be for Halloween?"

I want my death certificate to say the truth: killed by capitalism.

You can just make up words. No one can stop you. People do it all the time.

Please don't say hello to me if I am not wearing my hello pants.

I won't miss baseball announcers describing pitches as "center cut."

Shake it, Sugaree.

Them: Your body eats all the bad stuff like cancer cells and you’ll live forever, but you have to fast for three days. Me: HAHAHAHAHA don’t eat for three days. Nope.

Maybe if we started valuing people with growth mindsets and curiosity over arrogant extroverts.

i like oxford, commas, and endless debate

we need to remove the speakers from phones

I’m “sick of having to bend over to put on my socks” years old.

Man’s Heart Stops As Speaker Asks Audience To Turn To Person Next To Them https://theonion.com/man-s-heart-stops-as-speaker-asks-audience-to-turn-to-p-1819577130/

I feel like it kind of flew under the radar, but King Gizz uploaded full Orchestra show from Forest Hills to YouTube over the weekend. Only official orchestra content to come out so far. Incredible stuff. youtu.be/6zVah4ymbQo?...

Can you name all 5 freedoms projected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution? Often, people can't. A current SCOTUS Justice couldn't during their confirmation hearing (guess it wasn't important enough). Can't name all 5? Have a look at the First. It's a quick, easy read. Just 45 words. 🧵

EVERYONE WATCHING THE NEWS ABOUT THE LOUVRE HEIST: stealing art is horrible SAM ALTMAN: [gets nudged] oh, uh, yeah, tragic, just awful

Neil deGrasse Tyson condescendingly laughing at a box of cosmic brownies

I mourn for people who have lost the love of learning something new and unexpected. Or never had it to begin with. Or had it crushed by someone else.