Meet cute idea: You both left your phone at home for the protest but she had a killer sign and angelic smile, so you invite her to the food not bombs distro next weekend and spend the whole week yearning that she shows.

I don't think it's possible to come up with a better metaphor for Trump's presidency than him cheerfully flying a plane that dumps literal shit on America

"I will introduce Universal Basic Income"

“I will abolish ICE.” “I will codify abortion rights.” “I will divest from and sanction Israel.” “I will tax the rich.” “I will protect trans lives, Black lives, marginalized lives.” “I will salt the ground in which fascist republicans and fascist-sympathizing democrats grew.” See? Those work.

if Goku was alive today he would punch Jay Dee Vace's head right off his face

when she got u lookin up "how to write poetry" n shit

Mr President antifa is calling you "commander-in-shit" of the "turd reich" sir

How hilarious would it be if that orange shit bubble died today?

Excuse me: bb turtles

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

Block the White House and Homeland Security accounts. They’re here to bait you, and Jay will definitely give these fascist pigs your information.

If anyone's wondering how this is possible, the answer is these strike teams are moving terrifyingly fast. Grab first, ask questions later. We were about 8-15 minutes behind them today for several hours. They're jumping out of vans, chasing people across lawns, taking them from bus stops, etc

Jesus Penis

puttin' the Erection in Resurrection if you know what I mean

Are you aware we execute innocent people in the US quite regularly? Here's a story about Anthony Boyd, an innocent black man the state of Alabama intends to murder by gas mask next week. What can you do? Read this, and check out the thread below for how you can help. 🩷

i am so fucking embarrassing fuck

Governor Hochul? BUT I BARELY KNOW 'ER HOCHUL!

on my second cold brew of the day: oh shit I just remembered I'm a brilliant, sexy genius

Gomez Adams is to women what Elvira is to men.

ate a babybel in one bite so yeah I know how to party

Shout out to the Naked Bikeride who today ran hundreds of naked people directly through the line of federal officers and effectively blocked them from assaulting demonstrators. Being naked on a bike goes on the list of effective tactics if you get at least 500 of them and the city loves you.

tys, I'm Beef Twister

#TagYourself I'm SAMPLER OF DRUGS

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH IT'S A CLOWN FACE I DREW ON MY DICK IT LOOKS LIKE MY DICK IS A CLOWN!

improving movies with mr. bean: thread

Gay BlackSky — I think I found my husband at ATL pride tonight. Help me find him y'all 😭😭😭

thinking pivoting to a rap career, lmkwyt when she jork u with that cabbage, that's giving head when you cum on the produce, that's banana, bred

Chicago priest Fr. Larry Dowling describes procession to ICE facility: “No one had the courage to speak directly to us. No one from Homeland Security could stand in the presence of the Monstrance holding the Blessed Sacrament. No wonder. Evil is repelled, recoils in the presence of Christ.”

disrupting the jerkoff industry by jerking On

frogs together strong 🐸 🤝 🐸

Fact: Chatgpt has killed more people than Luigi Mangione

home the pharmacy tech doesn't think I'm getting sick of messaging every day to ask if they have Adderall because I cannot remember doing it yesterday because I do not have Adderall

soundcloud.com/feckless-mag... an important thing to know about me before you try to befriend me is that I think this is good music. I listen to this kind of shit all day long, unironically, and have done so for years.

WATCH: ‘Portland Frog’ pepper balled by ICE agents

my BODY is a MACHINE that turns SPAGHETTI into FARTS

read this if you need to raise your blood pressure

The recent ICE raid which emptied an entire apartment building was apparently at the request of Wells Fargo, which is trying to foreclose on the building.

www.twitch.tv/yetidetective i'm here you fuck aaaas bitch

if something happens to Dolly Parton I think I'm gonna freak the fuck out

with alt text so everyone can read

two in the terms & one in the services

zeus of Greek mythology fame really would just be like, "damn I wanna fuck monster into that puzzy"

Hear ye hear ye a message of hope and inspiration from our courageous leader in exile, Link. May all his loyal followers take heart!

PEMDAS vs PENGAS

first they came for the DILFs with enormous cocks and I did not stand up because they had already got me. I was like the first one they got.

The state goons are powerless before the awesome might of someone in an inflatable frog costume, and you seriously expect me to believe the situation is hopeless?

He look like a devious titty.