My life is going swimmingly well. If you consider that the waterbody is a cesspool.

All the countries playing in the World Cup have universal healthcare. Except the United States 🇺🇸

getting sponsored by Tylenol and becoming an influenzer

Men will really be like “I don’t want to be like my dad” and then become an even bigger piece of shit

Did Bluesky unfollow a bunch of people on my behalf? Just found out that with one of my longest moots. Not fair at all!

music.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ntt... Happy World Music Day! This is the most complete song I know.

My next victims.

My super power is watching movies that made me cry and watching them again.

women love mango (men leaving)

Babe what's wrong? You haven't dismissed the notifications on your phone.

Happy Fathers' day to everyone celebrating.

So dopamine starved, I'm on Reddit.

I haven’t gotten to live yet, I have been surviving my whole life. One of these days I will be able to just live…

Looks like lower back pain is back on the menu, boys!

I never thought laundry detergent could go bad. But it seems the Tide has turned.

I woke up wearing a clown nose. I guess I slept funny

Going to wear sleeveless tops while trading stocks because I'm investing.

If you someone stealing food, feminine supplies or baby supplies - no you did not. Not ever.

me (a popular YT influencer): welcome to our latest unboxing video schrodinger: what?

Running on 10 hours of sleep in the last 60 is why I shouldn't be in charge of making any decisions for the next 600 hours.

All the great ideas I get to change the world disappear the moment I come back home from any trip.

being hard on myself as a hobby

Sensory overload of everything terrible about life.

accidentally scrolling your skyline like i’m on my regular feed and liking 99% of your posts like a crazy stalker

I'm trying to think of what I like about Chennai other than it being the city where I'm employed. Nothing.

Do cats get cataracts or do they get aracts

Imagining the savings on compute if the TLDs were the first parts of a domain name. Like social.bsky. Right now, it's a game of finding the ultimate word, penultimate word etc. One may argue people would find the new pattern harder to remember. Not like capitalists care about them anyway.

Monday isn’t real

When you block me, I block you back, free of charge.

The word of the day is "acceptance". Happy with whatever marks were awarded to me for the exams I took a couple of weeks ago. Not the greatest showing, but given the circumstances, the best I could do.

Going to a tech conference tomorrow and I must be the only one wanting to attend the non-AI talks.

clones are people two!

Life hack: eat 2 corn dogs and now you have a pair of chopsticks

I see kettle bell workouts and wonder how they manage to not smack that on the groin during the swings.

Phlebotomists never find it funny when I tell them I went to art school (so I know how to draw blood too)

100% of all the planet's trillionaires are in the Epstein files. FACTS.

fuck The Police marry The Cars kill U2

Had to be without the phone for an hour because there was an issue replacing it's screen guard. Did I miss much?

(riding a horse for the first time) Me: ok where's the gear shift? Where's my infotainment screen?

why "trans agenda" not "transmission"?

Men* will complain all the time about not having time to read. *I am men.

My safe word is podcast.

a little on the nose for capitalism that the world’s first trillionaire is a nazi conman

Going to start a Bluesky group chat with the two wolves inside me.

me: not all heroes wear capes hr: you can’t wear your underwear over your pants

Do you know how much I value the blue blurb with a 1 on it?

You should have to be older than a tree to cut it down

a good hack to stay hydrated is use more hot sauce