Good Afternoon from your Super Bowl Champion, Philadelphia Eagles.

The Chiefs can still be named Super Bowl champions if Mike Pence has the courage.

SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS! THIS ONE’S FOR YOU PHILLY!

The Moon, by Gary Hume, 2009

At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895

The Ill-Matched Couple, by Lucas Cranach the Elder, 1530, 📸 by @Mikeyyowens

THE BIG DAWG IS HUNGRY! JALEN CARTER SACK 😤 #FlyEaglesFly

this site has the juice

For sale. Incel shoes. Never funged.

What if instead of Balatro it was called 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴latro and instead of Sock and Buskin it was called Cock and Bustin

can’t pay teens for sex and become attorney general anymore on account of woke

Truth nuke:

(on a first date) so earnestly debating whether die hard is a christmas movie is one of the oldest, least funny bits online, and the guy from the mountain goats — i’ll get to them — posted about NOT doing that, which accidentally reignited the discourse. you look beautiful by the way. can i kiss you

this is me if u even care

seems a bit dramatic

a cloak believed to belong to the shooter transformed into a dozen beautiful white doves and flew away, Authorities said,

i'm not super keyed in on the developments in syria but i have been obsessed with the coverage of HTS as "diversity-friendly." getting on the ground floor of the inevitable woke jihad memes that are going to drop.

why is it called an assassination when you ass ass in the bullet ass out nation shoot the man

ok who’s buying the dip

just looked into “martial law”. not good, folks

Mexican food is low key goated in situations where being a suburban white boy is the vibe

Say it with us... COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!! cdejean23 | #FlyEaglesFly

a poet is just a hater who fell in love

After the pepper spray at the Michigan vs Ohio game today I hope cooler heads prevail at Alabama vs Auburn and they drop a nuke on the field

making my emergency contact beyoncé and jumping off the tallest work ladder

At the Vatican gift shop: “Scusi, scusi, where might your Pope Boniface VIII Funko Pops be?”

I personally feel it’s time to stop calling stuff things

i have been enjoying this app but every time i see another corny "#resistance" jpeg i enjoy it ever so slightly less

guest at my thanksgiving: do you have any vegetarian options me: there’s the— [a bug flies into the mashed potatoes] —no

sorry i am not going to see a movie called wicked. my soul is too pure for that. let me know when they make a movie called righteous

A nuance about Saquon Barkley's game that a lot of people miss or underappreciate is that he is enormous and fast and perfect

We’ve seen everyone else posting this, but we’re just a chill guy too

Saquon Barkley has set an Eagles single-game rushing record AND career-high with 255 yards‼️ saquon | #FlyEaglesFly

Reminder: You get to live in the same time as Saquon Barkley, Philadelphia Eagle 😌

that’s me in the corner [slide projector clicks] that’s me in the spotlight

JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going

sending this in the family group chat with the message "when that one family member got you in his will 👀" then turning off my phone

Edgar Allan Poe? More like Edgar Allan Poem! (Because of The Raven and other various poems he wrote during his life)

Most insane moment on the new Kendrick was at the very end when he said my full legal name, thanked me for listening, and said I'm the only one who truly understands what he's saying

(blows past you in a two-horse covered sleigh; just absolutely smokes yer ass)

INTERVIEWER: What is most important to you when considering a new position? ME: (recently transformed back into a human after ten years of living as a sentient toilet in a French castle because my boss finally found true love) Work-life balance

me: i suspect someone at court is plotting a coup… scheming eunuch: there is nothing to fear my l- me, interrupting: why does it say scheming

[first day at Domino's] Manager: oh and one more thing: don't fuck the pizzas Me: haha Asst Manager: seriously, don't fuck them Cook: dont fuck the pizzas dude Me: I'm n- Customer: that guy's not gonna fuck my pizza is he? Manager: not if he wants to keep his job he wont.