I said something funny today, and I wanted to share it with the class, however, I’ve since forgotten it… *Hangs head in shame

#repostyourart paint

This is Bear, Australia's most famous koala detection dog. After a decade of service, he's retiring. He's located hundreds of injured or displaced koalas after forest fires. We're told his retirement will be filled with rest, cuddles, and maybe a little mischief. 15/10

roast beef popsicles. roast beepsicles

me: let's see what the sewer monsters have in store for us today my boss: your mic isn't muted me: i know

My spirit animal

PSA: When you see a uhaul truck on the road with you, it's good to remember that the driver likely doesn't know how to drive a truck and is very stressed. Also, the truck is beat to shit and may not have any brakes.

I don't think that dreaming that a dozen armed men in a tank drove onto my lawn and banged on my door is a 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 thing but I am going to Goog until I can find a neutral interpretation because I am an optimist

🎶One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you Are up to 75% less With a GoodRx card!

🐝✨✨✨

Most attractive Iris I've ever seen!

This is Frank. He was getting checked out at the vet when he decided the appointment was over. Has things to do and places to be, but doesn't mind if you come along. 13/10 (TT: thatonevettech)

At the airport. Everyone is stupid.

good day! [some assembly required]

“To this challenge you must agree: if on this wall you wish to pee, you must first solve these riddles three.”

telling myself i dont want to talk about it because even im sick of hearing about it

(slamming down the juicer on the counter) who wants fresh squeezed avocado juice

Wild Turkeys 🦃 in our yard.4-26.

There just aren't enough people saying oopsie daisy these days.

idk whose monkeys these are but i’m tired of this circus

it’s a school of fish, a murder of crows, and a cluster of barbaras

I didn’t win the lottery again. If this run of bad luck continues much longer I may have to consider actually buying a ticket one day.

I still admire the medical profession but loathe the medical industry.

Good day to all of you wonderful beings. Have a tremendous Thursday. May your path be clear & free of obstacles today! Be kind to one another. ✌️ Cheers!

can i just stay n bed until further notice ☔️

chosen family are the ones who use coasters without having to be reminded

The road to bed is littered with pillows. You're not going to make it there, but it's okay.

🎶”Everything hurts, all the time…”🎶 An aging Michael Stipe, maybe…

I just read the political news. With all due respect to Tina Turner, maybe we DO need another hero. 😖

forgot to add sugar to my coffee and just drank it anyway even though it tasted like sadness and the sugar was in my desk drawer because fuck it sometimes you need to microdose disappointment and sorrow to build an immunity

a flock of bluesky users is called a cringe

found these, i don't need new things to collect, but here we are 🤣✨

i gave mine a little hat

So overcast and dry. A fire has been burning in San Bernardino.

Not everyone knows this, but He was also a welder.

metallica cover band called apprentice of puppets

[overgrown yard covered in dandelions] her: honey, please mow the lawn me: oh, so you hate bees

sry boss on my 15 minute cat petting break try again later

Good morning! (last night)

BEWARE OF LOG

I go into work early for a lot of reasons; beating the traffic, the overtime, getting a head start on the day for example, but most of all it’s to pilfer office supplies before anyone else arrives.

Good Day! Happy 🐪 Day! Here's to a good one for all of us. Cheers!

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, wear dark sunglasses as blackout curtains. Souls need their beauty sleep, too.

prepping for the sequel to my 2hr nap earlier and this time, it's personal... or something

Update on the raccoon situation: it somehow managed to get to the feeder on that small branch so we’ve been storing the feeder in the shed at night for the last few days raccoon not happy and being vocal about its discontent ingenious, determined and temperamental little shit, much respect

maybe tomorrow will be a better day and other lies i tell myself

i always ask them not to cut the pizza so I can just eat it like a big cookie

in response to the excessive media that we are surrounded by in this day and age my brain has decided to retain zero (0) information

Almost forgot again! Happy tongue out Tuesday!