Webb Mission Operations Center: 😏

i can’t even spell calendar yet somehow it’s in charge of my life.

🖤

Day after action shot

He’s walked under a ladder Told his wife to calm down Saw a face in the sewer And talked to the clown He once finished a meal And swam right away He once met Chuck Norris And pointed out the toupee He’s taken expired Advil And torn tags from a bed He’s

Good morning Happy Tuesday! The sun is rising and it's going to be a better day than yesterday. I hope yours is too!

Every year on February 2nd, the Groundhog comes out of his burrow, tells you that he's disappointed that you've already abandoned your New Year's resolutions and goes back to sleep.

You can tickle the penguins And get them to laugh You can just sing a song To amuse the giraffes Just a little soft-shoe Will delight the woodchucks But try as you might You can’t

So as a new tradition, whiskey after snow removal services. And just for good measure a few advil before the whiskey. 🥃 🌙

im mad at past me who didn’t pick up ice cream at the store because “you don’t need to eat ice cream” and now im, the fuck i dont

Good afternoon.

Life is like a vending machine. Sometimes you get what you paid for, sometimes you get an extra treat and sometimes you get completely fucked over. It's near impossible to get a refund so just try and enjoy it when it works out right.

psychiatrist: you seem distracted me: i have "tom's diner" in my head psychiatrist: that's a catchy song! me: yeah it is psychiatrist: how long has it been stuck in your head? me: since 1987, that's why i'm here

They say make hay whilst the sun shines but I just buy the hay so I have more time to enjoy the sun shine instead.

A film about vending machines, we can call it “Vend It Like Veckham”

oh no! my feed has stopped updating i must've died 😯

I'm not giving you the run around. It's a casual stroll around at best.

I’ve decided I need a 600 man power snow blower

“I’ve had enough of Winter!” Mother Nature:

🎶

She argues in Italian She sings to you in French She yells at you in German In tones that make you clench The girl is complicated And very hard to please When you disappoint her She

No cheating, your last saved pic of a celebrity is your therapist.

Poor bird keeps getting blown off the feeder.

waking up and realizing it’s monday, again

This day in history. 1778. Friedrich Wilhelm August Heinrich Ferdinand Freiherr von Steuben who was born Friedrich Wilhelm Ludolf Gerhard Augustin Louis Freiherr von Steuben oh forget it.

We're going to make cherry danish or hockey pucks depending on how it goes.

there seemed to be a run on blizzard bananas and tho they weren’t on my list, this made me want some

We have a red squirrel, Brutus, living in the tree outside. I cannot express how comical it is to watch his tiny self terrorize much larger gray squirrels. Here, he is poking his head out of his condo, which sports two knot hole entrances.

The xennial urge to drop things as if they're hot

Now it looks Christmassy

If cats could drive, they would not give you a lift to the airport

I find precipitation to be strange and snow particularly so. It’s like, “The sky is falling!! But wait, it’s all small, white and fluffy…”. Then you wake up the next morning, and everything is gone

(pirate playing chess) checkmatey

Look at this photograph

The groundhog must pay!

hey don’t blame me for misspellings and grammatical errors by talk to text smart phones my ass

The Christmas amaryllis bloomed! I wish it was sunny so I could get a better pic

Me: *about to buy my first electric car* I am so amped for this Salesperson: Sir...please Me: Watt? Salesperson: Get out!

Like fluffy huskies chilling on a trampoline in the gently falling snow, you're strangely perfect.

me, reminding my dad how many times he’s already told that story

It’s one thing to make history. It’s another thing to make it up.

It only blooms in snowstorms.

We're up to at least a thousand upon a time by now

sometimes when I’m feeling surly like let’s fight mf’er, I’ll start correcting their grammar.

The Gen X urge that knowing is half the battle!

The Gen X urge to takes one to know one!

oh no i tripped and fell into my recliner instead of doing my chores