“The waitress is about to execute you at point-blank range with a shotgun” is one of the few instances I think it’s okay to be a little rude to restaurant staff but I probably still wouldn’t do it

My favorite thing about Noel is that despite the dangers inherent in being friends with Swan Boy, the worst disasters to befall him are entirely of his own making

you will not believe the email we just got

Wishing a happy Brian’s Hat Day to all who celebrate.

Bugs Bunny disguised as a sexy lady could get Kash Patel to free every single person in federal custody

Mandalorians: He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk. Grogu: 🎶I can SIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG 🎶

Not my actual favorite but maybe the one that pops in my head the most often

Things that I can eat if I have to be polite about it but won’t seek out on my own: black licorice, ranch, and grapefruit. Of those, I avoid ranch the most, I think it’s absolutely vile

Nyahhh, support Swan Boy/Branson or I’ll slug ya!!

New Muppet Show yet again confirms the unassailability of the “puppets scrambling to put on a little show” format

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

listen here you stupid leftoid, if you just voted blue in 2024, ICE would be ruining the lives of immigrant families quietly and efficiently in a way where we wouldn't have to hear about it on the news

I don’t want to see another picture of Stephen Miller, Kristi Noem or Greg Bovino unless they have black hoods over their heads at gunpoint

Opeth Tegan and Sara Bad Religion Iron Maiden Built to Spill

Just got back from Marty Supreme, great flick and...THAT WAS PENN JILLETTE??!

Found out today that I’ll be burying my dad soon and so dealing with that means that I can’t say much about the ICE shooting except that Nuremberg is the moderate position

Got this fun little pop-up while my brothers and I were discussing end-of-life care for our dad. I’m going to start the Butlerian Jihad.

Schindler's List, Come and See, The Bridge (the documentary)

life is long and i've seen a lot of things come and go but i will not stand for the rehabilitation of the ron howard grinch. motherfucker i was THERE in the theater. i was there

Sleater-Kinney- "Dig Me Out" R.E.M.- "Harborcoat" Iron Maiden- "Aces High" Husker Du- "Something I Learned Today" Kate Bush- "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)"

lmao

If I had my way everyone responsible for this would wish that they got the leniency of the Nuremberg trials

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

just saw a cottage cheese commercial that shows two teens eating cottage cheese while gaming. it’s possible that i’m out of touch with today’s youth but i don’t know about that one

oh cool so we're just literally doing Clear and Present Danger huh

BREAKING: The Newest season of the hit show “Love Island USA” will feature the Imperial Japanese Battleship Yamato attempting to beach herself as part of Operation Heaven. The Yamato joins F4U Corsairs, SBC2 Helldivers, and F6F Hellcats for what will undoubtedly be an exciting season.

bases are loaded. we got a triple on deck

this isnt about safety it is about punishment and control. the president is a child molester who put out a full page ad trying to get five innocent kids killed in 1989 because he hates black people and is terrified of them. he is drifting into the grave and wants to crack the whip as he goes

when the AI bubble finally collapses and everyone who spent a year smugly hyping it suddenly has to come crawling back with their tail between their legs, i just want to say i am not going to be the bigger person about it. i am going to be meaner than you can even believe

"but crime is a real issue, people are worried about crime and you have to take that seriously" No you don't! If people are getting more scared about crime while crime is happening less frequently, it's a made up issue and you should make a point of yelling that all the time

when i was a kid, i foolishly believed that hulk hogan represented the stated american values of justice and freedom. as an adult, i realized he represented the actual american values of greed, bigotry, deception and stupidity.

SCROOGE (Walton Goggins) (VO): It had been seven years Old Marley had been dead. Unless this is known, nothing fantastic can be understood MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper

Hello mudda Hello fadda Globalize the Intifada

You have more in common with the average Iranian citizen than you do with the people that run this country

@murderxbryan.bsky.social you need this shirt store.numetalagenda.com/products/koe...

Happy June Twelfth to all who celebrate

go on you old pussy, drone strike his house. do it sir. are you gonna take that? you are the president

Look. I spent over a decade saying that Americans know when they are being fucked and now I fully believe they are too dumb to even know that

here’s my life advice: you only get ONE LIFE in this body, ONE, and the thing has been depreciating since you drove it off the lot. are you really going to hand it back to god in pristine condition like you’re some security-deposit-groveling little bitch?

I’m kinda mad that the most virulent and consistent Trump critic for the Dems is the fucking billionaire

hey Argentina ya'll got any spare Exocets still laying around

"AI is coming, its inevitable" no its not you sniveling weirdo. how are those 3D TVs going. how are NFT markets looking these days. Seen anything cool in the metaverse lately? anyone who says we need to resign to using it, that itll be here whether we like it or not, is a feckless dipshit.

the only way kidnapping and illegally detaining lawful permanent residents (or citizens!) in foreign concentration camps "plays out" is we all live our lives under fascism or the fascists are jailed and many of them executed. that's it. read a fuckin book.

Elon Musk streaming POE 2 on his private plane while listening to “The Final Countdown” and everyone in the in-game chat is whispering him to kill himself. Now that’s cool.

evergreen