finished infinite wealth. they really did saeko dirty

walked past the 24 hour breakfast burrito place earlier and didn't get a breakfast burrito and i am retroactively furious with myself

hard to think of a better example of "you may not believe in class war, but billionaires know they're in one" than this

i am in a MOOD tonight

there should be full frontal nudity in Street Fighter

there's a ramen shop in my neighborhood that has somehow perfected both ramen and fried chicken and if i were a ruler they would be my court chefs because i'm convinced they can do anything and even if they can't i would just eat ramen and fried chicken for the rest of my life

they should make a jrpg where the final act isn't a huge slog. i hate getting to the end of the story and then discovering i still have 20 more hours of grinding and cutscenes to get through

i have decided to compete in the 2026 winter olympics

it's too warm! it's really making me murderous

i'm glad i don't get booed everywhere i go

Mongolia and Haiti correctly identified that the Winter Olympics are primarily a chance to design baller cold weather uniforms

there is nothing in the world more annoying than when someone is like "listen up IDIOTS, i'm going to drop some FACTS about the REAL WORLD" and then proceeds to say something dumb and wrong

the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran

can't tell you how burned out i am doing my dumb little email job while everything crashes down around me. i need to go to the other side of the world or fight a bear or immolate myself on the steps of the capitol or anything that's drastically different from what i'm currently doing

i miss spontaneanation

can't help but think there is probably a corrosive effect of having sex trafficker-elite emails unveiled for months on end as one of the biggest cultural/news stories of the last year— unearthing an inexcusable moral rot in the upper echelons of power—but without any real accountability/justice

my dream is to open a really dangerous Papa John's

i'm so jealous of people who are able to just go to sleep whenever they're tired without it being a whole ordeal

every once in awhile i remember you can use garlic bread to make meatball subs and i become incredibly powerful

i was awakened by crows pecking at me. i had to say "fellas, i'm still alive." they stole all the buttons off my shirt

sex should be deadly serious. no laughing allowed. if you so much as crack a smile i will blast an airhorn at you

whoever invented egg noodles deserves a kiss on the forehead

i need it to be 30 degrees colder

i do not like having to see elon musk's wretched face every day

thinking about sneezing later today

i am tired of having to do things. i want to lay facedown in a cold stream

there should be a job where they put you in a medical coma and pay you salary while you're unconscious and that's the whole job

5 am pork sandwich is going to fix everything

Elon not being happy despite having all the money is like someone losing at a game in tutorial mode, which he also does

remembered this existed and started laughing uncontrollably again

(riding in on a skateboard) what ho, losers? my husband left me

i'm not like other girls. every time you look at me i have twice as many bones as the last time you looked at me

patient : doctor i am depressed . doctor : solution is simple , watch the muppet show special with sabrina carpenter patient : ohh good idea !! i actually perform as a clown named pagliacci so im big into comedy

(flirting) you seem like the kind of guy who's going to die in a plane crash on march 21, 2034

woman is a tree man a giant fist clutching ham

hot singles are 26 miles away

i just don’t think it should be 60 degrees in february. that’s may weather

ikea is a fun concept. come to this furniture store to eat meatballs and lingonberry cake and also get into the first of a series of arguments that leads to the dissolution of your marriage

worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead

mfer looks like a wedding cake topper at its own funeral. no bride

Weddings should have a prosecutor instead of an officiant and he should be able to cross examine both parties. I also have other ideas

"rich dipshit owner doesn't understand the industry he's bought into and clumsily destroys what made it good" feels less like a narrative unique to the washington post and more like the music that's been playing in the background of all our lives for at least 40 years

A manager for the Immigrant Defense Network told MPR News that back in November, 2,500 people were trained as constitutional observers. Now, the total is nearly 30,000 trained observers in 77 of Minnesota's 87 counties.

the only yakuza games i've played are like a dragon and infinite wealth and like a dragon was fairly self-contained and easy to follow but infinite wealth feels like starting a plot-heavy tv show eight seasons in. i don't know who anybody is or what they're talking about

polycule? more like ridicule!

"Abolish the Police and then what?" while infantile and often asked in bad faith, is at least, on some levels, a real question "Ablish ICE and then what?" Is not a real question. Clearly if ICE didn't exist tomorrow society would just objectively be more peaceful and would not in any way fall apart

no more chuck schumer. put him in a dog crate and replace him with truly anyone who understands the moment we're in and is willing to fight

They should invent a job where they pay you to burn with righteous incandescent rage

more taco places should sell french fries. i know it’s not a traditional combination but it’s insanely delicious. actually every restaurant should sell french fries

how can we suffer these people to live among us, let alone purport to rule us? they're not just our enemies. they're an affront to the human experiment. they're hostile to all life not their own. they'd burn any number of us alive to avoid even a moment of mild discomfort. hideous